September 12, 2010
Antiques Roadshow is loved by everyone. Well, OK, not everyone. To be clear, Antiques Roadshow airs on PBS, meaning that most people do not watch Antiques Roadshow, therefore Antiques Roadshow is not actually loved by everyone. In fact most people have never seen it at all, and most probably a good portion of the audience only likes it. So really, Antiques Roadshow is a show on PBS that you have probably not seen but, if you did, you have a good chance of loving it. In general, Antiques Roadshow is loved by everyone who watches Antiques Roadshow.
I hope that makes sense. I hate proofreading.
Antiques Roadshow (or simply AR for awhile, ’cause I hate typing too.) is a pop culture phenom. It started the whole trend of thinking that your garbage is worth a pile of cash. Sure, once in a blue moon, that picture somebody bought at a garage sale for five dollars turns out to be worth five hundred dollars, but that will never happen to you. The picture you buy at a garage sale for five dollars will be worth- wait for it- five dollars, but that painting has been stored in an unfinished basement for twenty years, so the cost of exterminating all the spiders that crawled out of the frame will far outweigh any enjoyment you get. So save your five dollars.
And that brings me that what I’ll jokingly call the point of this mess.
Like anything popular, (World War One, for example) AR has spawned some imitators, some good and some bad. Ron Popeil spawned Billy Mays (good, now dead) and Vince the Slap Chop guy (bad, still living. Life is unfair.) Antiques Roadshow has spawned Pawn Stars (Billy Mays good) and American Pickers (Vince bad, so very bad.)
Pawn Stars is not to be confused with Porn Stars, a show that the History Channel is not allowed to air. This is about a family that runs the swankiest pawn shop in Las Vegas. Sure, they’ll give you two bucks for your loose gold filling, but they’ll also buy a Faberge brooch for $15,000, and that I assure you I am not making up.
The “owner” of the shop is Rick, a paunchy bald guy. Sure, that description could also fit Michael Chiklis or Jason Alexander, but Rick is taller than those guys. I bet you can just picture him now! Anyway, despite lying in every single show that he owns the place, Rick is only a 49% owner.
The other 51% is owned by his father, just called The Old Man. Fans of Bela Lugosi may recall that he was credited as “The Old Man” in Ed Wood’s epic Plan Nine From Outer Space. (Plans one through seven didn’t work out so well, and plan eight- “We will knock the hats off the human’s heads, and when they bend over to pick them up, we shall take over the Earth!”- was also a non-starter.) Anyway, Bela Lugosi and the guy from Pawn Stars? Not the same guy. In fact, this guy looks like he’s done some pistol whipping and jail breaking in his past. He looks, acts, dresses, and sounds just like a Prohibition era gangster, only now he also has gout and a goiter.
Rick’s son is called Big Hoss (I am not making that up, in fact I have not yet made up a single word of this blog, and this may be a record) and he is all that the description Big Hoss implies.
Big Hoss’ friend, Chumlee also works there, so speak. What he actually does is unknown.
Chumlee
If you understand the premise of a pawn shop, things should go smoothly. Unfortunately, most people walking into the shop don’t. In short. Rick buys things in order to resell them. Therefore, he needs to make a profit. so if you have a lamp worth $100, don’t expect Rick to buy it for $100. In order to make a profit on a $100 lamp, he has to buy it as low as possible. Usually, Rick would go up to about $60. Therefore, on a $100 lamp, the seller has gotten $60 and Rick will get $40. If the lamp seller wants the full hundred, he needs to skip the middle man (and a pawn shop is the classic example of a middle man) and go directly to some guy who will give him $100. However, that can take time and can be difficult, so often it is easier to go to a pawn shop, where a guy like Rick does all the work of selling.
Problem is, no one who walks into the shop has any idea of how pawning works, and even less idea about what his stuff is worth. Rick gets a ridiculous amount of civil war memorabilia (say that in your best Sol Rosenberg voice, and do the boot with a foot in it bit while you’re at it, if you know your Jerky Boys references) and he usually calls in an expert. The expert tells Rick and the seller that the stuff is worth, at an auction, about $10,000.
Rick asks the seller how much he wants. The seller wants $10,000. He has gone to the wrong place. Eventually, the seller will probably walk out with a little over or under $5000. Of course, he may just be an idiot. No way I am selling a $10,000 item for half price. I’ll do some research and find a buyer myself. On the other hand, sometimes Rick gets an oddball item, like (this is true true true) a Soviet nuclear missile key and things get hard to price.
At any rate, Pawn Stars, or The Pawnsters as I once thought it was called, and I still think is a better name, is generally fair and if you believe in buyer (or seller) beware, go for it.
Then there is Antiques Roadshow’s reprehensible stepchild, American Pickers.
Imagine you open your door one day and a couple of giggling middle aged men suddenly swoop into your home and offer you $10 for your bridge chairs. That’s the gist of American Pickers, sort of a Pawnsters in reverse, where the buyers come to you, uninvited.
On this show, two guys drive around in a van (no, not the Scrappers) somewhere in the Deep South, off the beaten roads. They are looking for homes or houses that seem to have a lot of, what appears to be, junk. (It is amazing how many rednecks have old tin signs laying around their front yards.) They start poking around garages, sheds, and backyards until either A- the owner shoos them off with a shotgun or B- the owner invites them to look around.
The two guys, whose names I neither know nor care about, climb around, through, and under anything they can, rooting out old oil cans, tin signs, bicycles, whatever. Eventually one of them will find a Sunoco pump or a rusty sickle, and the two will huddle in a corner, giggling like little school girls over their find. Then they’ll compose themselves, walk over to the owner, and offer him about $3 for it. More often than not, the guy will take the offer and ask them if they want anything else.
Eventually the pickers fill the van and pay the owner something like $100 for the haul, and the owner is happy to get it. Why not? Who expects some tools to drive up and buy some of their junk?
The worst is yet to come. The pickers usually get right up to the camera, and, hooting like Frank Gorshin from the old Batman show, tell the audience that the rusty cans they bought for $3 are really worth over $150 and they already have a buyer lined up. A helpful graphic pops up on the screen and, as much as a graphic can be smug, smugly compares the selling price of the stuff they bought vs. the actual value. Usually, the pickers make out like bandits.
I hate this show.
On Pawn Stars, the seller has control. They know they want to sell an item. It is up to them to do the research, and they have the option of walking out of the shop and finding another place to sell it.
On American Pickers, usually these people are not going to sell their stuff, or at least not at the particular moment. Can you blame them for not having done research, for not knowing the value of their stuff, for not having a buyer ready?
What would you do if out of the blue someone showed up and waved money under your nose, all in exchange for some of the junk in your garage? These people are not prepared for the situation and the pickers take advantage of them. Rick from Pawn Stars will at least tell you the value of your items. True tale- last week, a woman showed up with a Faberge brooch and asked Rick for $2,000. Rick should have leaped over the counter and made her sign a blood oath then and there, but instead he replied “I’d love to pay you $2,000 for this, but I have a conscience, so I’ll give you $15,000 for it.” The pickers would have badgered her down to $50.
It is awful. Sure, on one hand, the show is about the “lost treasures in America’s backyard” (I’m quoting because I’m sure I heard that somewhere, and if I didn’t, I should have) but on the other hand it is about gleefully ripping people off and gloating about it. It sickens me, which is also what William Shatner said on the set of Star Trek when a director tried to correct his pronunciation. “Please don’t correct me. It sickens me.”
"Here's $18 for the Renoir, and another $6 for the Monet. You drive a hard bargain sir."
Is it fair of me to blame PBS for some cable network ripping off one of their shows and making an insult to my intelligence? Of course not. But I’ll still use this an excuse to not make a donation during their next pledge drive.
Not affiliated with American Pickers, oh my goodness no.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
I’m not a fan of any of those shows but American Pickers seems like a new low.
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I like Roadshow and Stars, but Pickers rubs me the wrong way.
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I agree with every aspect of this post – I’m a bit of an AR/PS addict, but Pickers drives me nutters.
I’m just waiting for the American Pickers/Hoarders cross-over episode, then everything I can’t stand will be tied up in one little package.
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I was going to write about those hoarding shows (three of them now!) awhile back, but for every person that I just want to slap and say “clean this shit up” there is another one whom I feel very sorry for. One man became a hoarder after an operation for a brain tumor, and just last night I saw a woman, unlike all the others, driving herself crazy to clean her home because her two daughters (7 and 10) were becoming like her, and the younger one was even becoming suicidal. So for every kooky cat lady there is a sad old woman trapped in her home by her demons, and I just couldn’t balance the mocking with the pity.
That said, I’d love to see the Pickers try to buy stuff from the Hoarders. Classic confrontation!
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American Pickers makes me ashamed to be an Iowan. I love this post and tweeted it. My parents are addicted to these shows. They have it on DVR and watch it all day. Some of the same thoughts you chronicled, go through my head when I watch it. The Antique Roadshow is pretty cool. Another program my parents are in to.
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Thanks so much!
The people on the show, from Iowa or elsewhere, usually come off as salt of the earth, pretty nice people. I tend to feel bad for them and want to shout “Don’t do it!” The Pickers? Even when they are simply riding in the van, something about them just rubs me wrong.
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That Pawn Stars picture embodies everything I can’t stand about that show (that I watch every Monday filled with guilt). Like the History Channel in general, it could get by with less “reality” and more talk about old stuff!
American Pickers isn’t really that much different than Pawn Stars. Neither pay the unknowing victim anywhere near what the item is worth. Notice Pawn Stars never said what that Faberge spider brooch they paid $15,000 for was going to sell for? Probably $30,000. And he made such a big deal about not giving her $2,000? She got ripped off.
Honestly, I’d rather the History Channel got off this reality show stuff.
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Here’s where I disagree. The brooch woman knew she was in a reseller. If they gave her $30,000 for it, there would be no profit for Rick. The way his business works is that both he and the seller have to make a profit. That is simply the way a pawn shop works. She should know that going in. And if your numbers are right, they split the value 50/50, which is fair because Rick has to do the work of selling.
Personally, I think she was ripped off- by herself. For something that valuable, no way do you sell it to a pawn shop. She could have gotten far more by finding a buyer on her own. If she is a victim, as you say, it is her own fault. If you want to sell something, find out what it is worth first!
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True, although it’s always the jerks who think they know better than the appraiser that bother me on AR.
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I’m not sure how much the History Channel in Canada has in common with the American version, but it’s kind of nice to get a break from Hitler-vision every now and then.
I really enjoy Pawn Stars, but my one request would be that they stop forcing ‘look what stupid thing Chumlee and Big Hoss did’ situations, those are really the ‘reality TV’ moments I can’t stand.
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Most reality shows have little reality left in them.
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How can you do this post and NOT mention Hardcore Pawn???!?!?
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Because it is one of those TruTV shows that is designed to appeal to the lowest comon demoninator and is just awful on every level.
Every show on that network is disgusting.
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The reality is… the majority of these people would NEVER sell their stuff unless someone showed up on their doorstep and offered them cash for it. Period! Just because YOU know how to blog and comment on the internet doesn’t mean the rest of the world is computer-savy and knows how to sell stuff on the internet or other ways. (have you ever seen a computer and one of these piles of junk?)
I challenge any of you who are complaining about people getting “ripped-off” by the American Pickers to volunteer a few weekends to help these people out. Come on, step up to the plate and quit your bitching! Drive 500 miles away (don’t forget gas prices) and spend an entire weekend at someone’s collection of crap. Be sure to pick through all of it and don’t miss the really good stuff. After all, you are already pretending to be experts on the values of these items. Don’t forget, there might be five or six huge building packed completely full of junk or a field of tall weeds to dig through. Make sure you are up-to-date on your tetnus shots.
Once you’ve picked out those diamonds-in-the rough, you’ll need to take pictures of every piece you intend to sell. Next step, potential buyers will want to know how old the item is, what kind of condition it is in, where it came from, who made it, and if there are any other significant markings on the item. Write up a complete description of the items and do your research to find out how much it is worth. Yes, you may need to consult with an appraiser to get a retail value (or are you already an expert?). If you can actually find an appraiser, you will likely have to pay an appraisal fee. Now, you’ll need to spend your time trying to find a collector or decorator interested in the junk you found. I’ll even let you place ads on Ebay, Craigslist, or in your local newspaper (most of those aren’t free by the way).
Now, I will let you assume that someone has offered you full value of the item you found. You still have to ship it to them!! Now, your full-valued $500 antique cast-iron lamp will cost you $100 to ship to the buyer who is five states away. Oh wait, I forgot, you feel sorry for these people getting ripped-off… OK, you will need to drive that lamp to the buyer who is 800 miles away and deliver it to them in person (I’ll even let you purchase your gas for $2.50 a gallon).
Whew! You just spent 40 hours of work to sell a single item that will profit your junk collector $400. Don’t forget, you didn’t get paid for those 40 hours of hard work, because you donated it to the junk collector that you ‘felt sorry for’. That made a LOT more sense than getting $250 for the $500 lamp from someone who showed up on your doorstep with cash in hand!
The reality is this… The majority of these people will die with five or six building completely full junk. A good majority of these valuable antiques it will rot away. Rodents, spiders, and all sorts of wildlife will make their homes in this crap. The kids and family members who are trying to make their own lives work will now inherit all of this stuff that they don’t want or to have anything to do with. They can either spend five to ten years cleaning it all up, or they will PAY a scrapyard or professional company to come and take it all away. Sometimes a local government will force a court-ordered clean-up and a company will come and get it all for $500.
Let’s be realistic, is anybody really getting “ripped-off?” I say, “NO WAY!!”
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“The reality is… the majority of these people would NEVER sell their stuff unless someone showed up on their doorstep and offered them cash for it. Period!”
Many of those people are not looking to sell anyway. They do because when someone pops up out of the blue and offers them money, it is pretty tempting. Those people who are looking to sell usually get a much better price because they know the value or the market.
You do a nice job decribing the tough job of the picker, to the point that I wonder whay anyone would “Drive 500 miles away…spend an entire weekend at someone’s collection of crap…Make sure you are up-to-date on your tetnus shots.” It obviously isn’t for the money, and don’t blame the economy because this has always gone on. So it must be out of choice, maybe you love these old items and antiques. There must be something you get out of it or as you describe it, it isn’t worth it. So you get nowhere with the pity card.
“Now, your full-valued $500 antique cast-iron lamp will cost you $100 to ship to the buyer.” Do you expect me to believe that the buyer does not pay the shipping, or are you that poor a businessman that you will turn your $500 lamp into a $400 lamp?
“OK, you will need to drive that lamp to the buyer who is 800 miles away and deliver it to them in person” Seriously? No wonder you sound so angry. That is ridiculous.
“they will PAY a scrapyard or professional company to come and take it all away” One thing I learned from Scrappers, they do it for free.
“doesn’t mean the rest of the world is computer-savy and knows how to sell stuff on the internet” That arguement died around 1991. The internet is so dumbed down and user friendly that anyone with fingers and a little time can get started and learn the basics with just a simple google search. And anyone who can’t use a computer certainly knows 5 or 50 people who do.
“That made a LOT more sense than getting $250 for the $500 lamp from someone who showed up on your doorstep with cash in hand!” I think getting $500 dollars makes a lot more sense.
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I once saw an episode where the Pickers purchased a set of old circus posters. I forget the price, but the two guys went on to sell them for literally thousands more than they paid. They returned to the original seller with half of their profit because even they had no idea the posters were worth as much as they were. I cannot believe you are accusing them of ripping people off. I have never seen them hold a gun to anyone’s head forcing a $3 sale on a $500 item. This is simply (supposedly) how a couple of guys make a living. Woluld it be profitable for them to drive door-to-door saying “hey, i know a guy down the road who would buy that, you should go visit him.” In many cases they are doing these folks a favor. Many of them want and need to get rid of some of the crap/collectibles/junk, etc. And these guys happen to know how to find buyers who will appreciate these items, no matter how crappy the next person might think it is. Its njot like they even get to buy everything they want. The people they visit are allowed to say no and many times they do!
Very likely, as with all “reality” shows, some things are staged. But, that’s entertainment. I dont turn to American Pickers, certainly not Hardcore Pawn or any other crap on TV to learn life lessons. Its just a show.
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I agree with much of what you say but I still feel that they are preying on people’s ignorance. And while I do think they come across as nice guys, and honest, (and kudos to them for giving back the money) I do think that people do one thing when the cameras are there and another when they are not. But the basic premise is that they are dealing with ignorance from a position of intelligence. Do the sellers have the choice to not sell? Of course. But the reality is you offer some cash for an old chair that’s been laying in the barn for years and people will take the cash. Sell at your own risk, of course, but the basic premise is one of taking advantage.
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I’m sorry but though I totaly agree with you about Hardcore Pawn , American pickets do have a consience and did go and split the big payout with the owner of a small amusement park that they bought some sideshow canvas signs from! They have done that more than once as I recall. They do pay a good price for a lot of the things they buy and how can you get down on two guys for buying low and selling high? Isn’t that being a good businessman? Back to hardcore pawn those are a bunch of useless humans being and I’m being nice when I say that ! They chisel poor people down to nothing and then lose the item or sell it before the pawn time is up ! Ashlee and Seth should be put in a burlap sack and thrown into the Detroit river!
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I’ve been to Vegas and went to the shop but low and behold the “stars” weren’t there. Found out they’re only there to film and also that the prices are all prearranged before filming! Its all a sham! So as far as your example of Ricks generous offer of $15,000 instead of $2,000 its all scripted for T.V. On the other hand, the Pickers actually drove all the way back to an old ladies farm to give her the extra money that they got for her item because they found out it was worth far more than they gave her the first time. This seemed to me a lot less scripted then Ricks obvious set up offer.
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I know from personal experience that many of the people on all the pawn shows, as well as American Pickers, have been contacted by producers who saw their listings on eBay (and elsewhere) and asked them to walk into the shop with their items. The stars have already (or their producers have) checked out the items online long before the item ever enters the store. So when you see them checking online for a price, they already know what they will find, already know how far they will go to buy it, and if one of them claims ignorance and brings in a “friend” or a professional, that person has already been briefed. EVERYTHING is scripted on those shows, and what you see on TV is often the third or fourth take. They do as many reshoots, and take as much time setting up camera angles and shots, as any scripted drama. American Pickers is no different.
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I hated Hardcore pawn and was very happy when they were cancelled. A bunch of money grabbers, they are not out to help anyone but their grubbing pockets. I took my aunt who lives Colorado there to sell her 20 piece sterling silver serving pieces. The pieces were grande baroque sterling which is very expensive heavy sterling. She said she paid $2100 for them. That idiot son of Les offered her 238$ for all these nice pieces of heavy sterling. The daughter is quite ugly in both her face and personality. So We never went back to that place!! Plus if ur even a day late they steal ur items. American Pickers is even worse than Les and Hardcore Pawn!!! A bunch of cheaters and money grabbers too.Try Great Lakes Pawn for the best deals and much larger amounts of money. Also they call you on the day your ticket expires. Then ask you when do you think you will be in to pay. Not like Les and his pawn shop in that dangerous area of Detroit. Great Lakes is in Livonia and you don’t feel the danger of Detroit. Police are always right there!!! So remember the name Great Lakes Pawn and ask for Chris.
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