Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride

August 22, 2013

Wherever you are, I envy you. It is election time and here in NYC we have the worst crop of candidates for whichever position you look at. And I am not even talking about the candidates who are simply unqualified, inexperienced, or with bizarre political views. I am talking about high-profile people running for political positions, DESPITE HAVING BEEN THROWN OUT OF THEIR PREVIOUS OFFICE IN SHAME.

ASSHOLE NUMBER ONE: ELIOT SPITZER.

This man used to be our Governor, now the Love Guv is running for City Controller.

On March 10, 2008, The New York Times reported that Spitzer had previously patronized a high-priced prostitution service called Emperors Club VIP^[ and met for over two hours with a $1,000-an-hour call girl. This information originally came to the attention of authorities from a federal wiretap. Spitzer had at least seven or eight liaisons with women from the agency over six months, and paid more than $15,000.According to published reports, investigators believe Spitzer paid up to $80,000 for prostitutes over a period of several years while he was Attorney General, and later as Governor.Spitzer first drew the attention of federal investigators when his bank reported suspicious money transfers, which initially led investigators to believe that Spitzer may have been hiding bribe proceeds. The investigation of the governor led to the discovery of the prostitution ring.

In the wake of the revelations, Spitzer announced on March 12, 2008, that he would resign his post as governor at noon on March 17, 2008, amid threats of his impeachment by state lawmakers.

On July 16, 2008, The New York Times made public that Spitzer used campaign funds to pay for two Mayflower Hotel bookings, $411.06 apiece, where he was suspected to have met with prostitutes. While it remains unclear if Spitzer stayed in the hotel on the nights he booked, The Times has stated that Spitzer met with prostitutes in early 2008. Spitzer declined to comment on the issue.

There is more, including a Trooper-gate scandal involving using State Troopers to cover up his hooker nonsense. The only thing that keeps this next idiot in second place is that Spitzer had a higher office.

ASSHOLE NUMBER TWO: ANTHONY WEINER.

While in Congress, he texted pictures of his penis to a variety of women via twitter. when the pictures got out he lied, claimed his account was hacked, lied again, admitted it, then more pictures came out, then he resigned. Since then, more and more pictures came out, and it was discovered that he was tweeting pictures of his penis under the name Carlos Danger. That last one came out after he said he stopped that behavior. Obviously he did not. His last words on the subject were a not very reassuring “don’t be surprised if more women and more pictures come forward.” And his record in Congress? Horrible. Not only did he sponsor no bills, he claimed to have coined the phrase “Obamacare.” Many political sites have disproven that very easily. I could go on and on about this clown, but it really makes me sick. Besides, I already did so in this blog.

ASSHOLE NUMBER THREE: CHRISTINE QUINN.

She looks like Shrek’s wife, Princess Fiona, except that Fiona is much more likeable and I’d sooner vote for the ogre. Speaker of the House Quinn is obnoxious and out of touch, annoying as all hell, and until recently she was nothing more than a parrot for Mayor Nanny State Bloomberg. There is no real scandal attached to her, which puts her light years ahead of the other two nuts on this list, but as far as getting my vote, no. No way.

Goodbye New York, hello national laughingstock.

Tags: bmj2k, Mr. Blog, Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride, scandal, porn, Shrek, Twitter, penis, Mr. BTR, Politics, texting, Bloomberg, election, Anthony Weiner, sexting, nanny, Carlos Danger, Huma, Eliot Spitzer, Troopergate, hookers, Leathers, Christine Quinn, Princess Fiona, Fiona, nanny state, votes