Tag Archives: New York

Space Jammed

17 Jul

July 17, 2013

Former New York Knicks player Baron Davis was abducted by aliens a few weeks ago. I’ll let him tell it in his own words.

“I was, um, on my way from Vegas here to L.A., I’m a little tired and s— and I see this light and I think it’s a big-a– truck. Then next thing you know, dude, like, I was in this f—— steel thing.”

It didn’t end there. In many abduction stories, there is a period of blackout and often the victim’s next memory would be heading home some hours later. Not so Davis. He recalls meeting “these f—— crazy-looking people” who were “half-human, half, like, f—–, ugly motherf——.”

In fact, Baron has some clear recollections of that evening. “Dude, they were poking me on my nose and s—. They were poking me on my nose and they were, like, looking me in my eyes. They had my hands like, tied up and the next thing you know, I was f—— in Montebello, dude, burning rubber on the way back to L.A. It was like four o’clock in the morning.”

Davis later recanted the story, claiming it was all a joke.

(http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/baron-davis-abducted-aliens-article-1.1397660)

Judging from his outfit, I tend to believe it.

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The Spying Eye Sees: Mrs. Met

11 Jul

July 11, 2013

Who is that shapely brunette that The Spying Eye has seen on the arm of hunky major league baseball mascot Mr. Met? Sources say that Mr. Met has found a new love.

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Mr. Met’s family man image has taken a hit lately since his divorce. His first, red-haired wife, known for her charity work with disabled children, has not been seen around the baseball circles in New York for several years, and now this newer, thinner, and yes- hotter wife has taken her place around the baseball diamond.

Mr. Mets' first wife, not seen for many years.

Mr. Mets’ first wife, not seen for many years.

The Spying Eye has yet to get its hands on the prenup, but it is a sure bet that this new Mets hottie is in line for quite a load of Diamond Dust, if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, The Spying Eye has been unable to reach Rosie Reds, Mr. Mets’ former sister-in-law, for comment.

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The Spying Eye has just one word of caution for the new couple- keep your amorous displays of affection off the field and in the bedroom. Such antics as that pictured below have no place in a family ballpark.

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan's advice. ("Ladies, give up the butt!!")

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan’s advice. (“Ladies, give up the butt!!”)

The Spying Eye has not given up on the mystery of Mr. Met’s first wife’s disappearance. This undated photo shows evidence of some kind of brain surgery, given the scars around her temples.ku-mediumAnd in this more recent family photo, taken in 2004, Mrs. Mets’ lack of hair hints at recent chemotherapy.

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