Tag Archives: Shea Stadium

Take Me Out To The Ballgame And Away From Here (AKA Tawkin’ Baseball)

7 Apr

April 7, 2015

Opening Day at the ballpark! Oh yeah, peanuts and popcorn, and sushi… and overpriced souvenirs… and obstructed view seats, and umpires who can’t call a strike and million dollar players who can’t hustle down to first and cleanup hitters who go 0-4 with 3 strikeouts and a popup and is that what I paid a week’s salary for 4 tickets to see? IS IT?

But I digress.

Today was Opening Day for the New York teams. The Yankees opened first (their motto: miss the days of big spending, dontcha?) and the Mets played later that day (their motto: we can’t afford a motto). The Yankee game was on the TV in the cafeteria at the Company I Am employed by, for now, and not everyone was that big a baseball fan, or a fan at all, but out of the dozen or so people watching the game, one superfan stood out.

Of course, she stood out more for her ridiculous hair ribbons than any knowledge of the game. She was wearing more, and brighter, hair ribbons than you would expect of a woman even three or four decades younger. The thing about her was, you could always look away from her ridiculous head (and her face was no prize either) but there was no getting away from her loud New Yawk accent.

“Are those the New Yawk Yankees?” (Gestures to the TV.) “When do they show the Mets? They play too ya know!”

It made me very proud that my company hires the senile.

“That’s Alex Rod-Ri-Guez.” (In a lower, conspiratorial tone.) “He’s a bad boy.”

“My son took me to Shea Stadium once. He had to pay an arm and a leg to park his car ya know.”

“The Mets wear pinstripes too but does anybody tawk about that?”

Only the fact that the Yankees were losing made this bearable. After a few more proclamations (to who? I don’t know. It was never clear who she was talking to.) she got her lunch at the counter and left.

But I did learn a couple of things from her.

1- Her son played baseball in Little League.
2- Her son played baseball in Little League. (Yes, she said it twice, both times sounding as proud as a woman possibly could of her fully grown son who had paid an arm and a leg to park at Shea Stadium and who once played baseball in Little League.

For the record, the Yankees lost 6-1, and later that afternoon, the Mets won 3-1.

naked gun

What Enrico Pallazzo wants Enrico Pallazzo gets, see?


The Spying Eye Sees: Mrs. Met

11 Jul

July 11, 2013

Who is that shapely brunette that The Spying Eye has seen on the arm of hunky major league baseball mascot Mr. Met? Sources say that Mr. Met has found a new love.

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Mr. Met’s family man image has taken a hit lately since his divorce. His first, red-haired wife, known for her charity work with disabled children, has not been seen around the baseball circles in New York for several years, and now this newer, thinner, and yes- hotter wife has taken her place around the baseball diamond.

Mr. Mets' first wife, not seen for many years.

Mr. Mets’ first wife, not seen for many years.

The Spying Eye has yet to get its hands on the prenup, but it is a sure bet that this new Mets hottie is in line for quite a load of Diamond Dust, if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, The Spying Eye has been unable to reach Rosie Reds, Mr. Mets’ former sister-in-law, for comment.


The Spying Eye has just one word of caution for the new couple- keep your amorous displays of affection off the field and in the bedroom. Such antics as that pictured below have no place in a family ballpark.

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan's advice. ("Ladies, give up the butt!!")

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan’s advice. (“Ladies, give up the butt!!”)

The Spying Eye has not given up on the mystery of Mr. Met’s first wife’s disappearance. This undated photo shows evidence of some kind of brain surgery, given the scars around her temples.ku-mediumAnd in this more recent family photo, taken in 2004, Mrs. Mets’ lack of hair hints at recent chemotherapy.


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