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Tag Archives: geico

Fun With Teh Internets: Quick Hits

28 Jan

January 28, 2013

keyes1.jpg

I’m contractually obligated to Mr. B for one page of stuff per week. This week, I couldn’t quite put all of the rage I feel into one coherent piece, so I’m taking the easy way out and going all stream of consciousness and stuff…..ok, I’m half-assing it really, but let’s all be honest here – my full-assed efforts probably aren’t much better!

This Commercial Annoys Me….

Let’s get this straight.  The flying waitresses are incredulous about…… a phone app. NOT a talking, intelligent pig. About an app that is actually so common, everyone has at least one.  Some commercials are so stupid as to insult the viewer. This is one such commercial. You can ask Mr. Blog, I often watch commercials so mind-numbingly stupid that I basically put a fatwah on everyone involved with it in any way.

 Speaking of Annoying….
Nobody ruins a baseball game like FOX.  ESPN is close, but FOX sets the bar lowest. And the main reason for that is loudmouth Tim McCarver. I’ve never listened to anyone as unknowledgeable about baseball as him, and that includes Joe Morgan and my 3 yr. old cousin. There’s a reason he was fired by BOTH the Mets and Yanks. I remember one inane thing he must’ve said about twenty times during the ’85 season – something he thought was the height of wit. “Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?” To which I always answered the television with “die.”  I plan on outliving this clown for spite.

mccarver

What I’m Watching….

They may not look like much, but these are REAL men. They gave up their lives and families and basically headed to Alaska to strike it rich mining for gold:

gold rush

Of course, these guys are also kind of screw-ups in a lot of ways. They don’t know what they’re doing so it’s always one problem or another with them. That said, it’s fascinating to watch the process, the machinery, and just to see how much effort goes into finding even one ounce of precious, precious gold. And “Dakota Fred” – a crusty old miner who doesn’t take any guff – makes this show. Highly recommended!

Most Hardcore Father Ever….

MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!

MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2258877/Chinese-father-hires-virtual-hitman-kill-son-online-games–job.html

It’s not quite what you think. Basically, poor Mr. Feng’s son was a layabout no-account lazy bum who wouldn’t tear himself away from his video games long enough to get a job. So he did what any loving father would do: hired better players to constantly find his son’s presence online and kill him straightaway on the premise that if he kept getting pwn3d like a noob, he’d quit and find a job and become productive member of the ruling party.  Of course, the plan didn’t work out, but it was a worthy try. I’d have just smashed the computer myself, but Dif’rent Strokes (RIP Conrad Bain) and such.

What I’m Reading….

Books? What are those?????

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American Chopper: New Venture

15 Oct

October 15, 2012

Once again, I will update this blog as the show progresses, so check back throughout the hour.

Tonight on The New Adventures of American Chopper:
New Venture
Senior receives a stern, on-air lecture from a late night celebrity, Junior launches a new business venture and Senior visits PJD for the first time ever. Then, at Sturgis, Senior rides side by side with a bike industry icon.

I hope this is better than the line of dog toys Paulie tried to launch during his no-complete period.

Meanwhile, the celebrity is David Letterman, so how stern is it?

Look how happy he is to sign autographs for his fans!

This episode is built around, in part, to Paulie and Senior’s trip to the David Letterman show. I did not see that episode but it aired back in August. I’m more interested in seeing Senior’s visit to PJD and his reunion with Vinnie. Vince has been fairly vocal in his criticism of Senior so let’s see how it goes.

Senior is continuing his old-school build for Sturgis, and PJD is starting a new build for RoadLok, a system to lock your bike’s front wheel. As I said last week, OCC is building the bike on the fly according to whatever Senior wants so for once the guys who know how to build and design a bike- like Rick and, I have to admit, Mike- are in charge and are not simply trying to recreate a kid’s sketch. PJD’s bike will be retro too.

Letterman: “I took Paul’s side in this.” (Scattered applause and a loud “yeah!” from the audience.)
“You said things in public about your family I can’t believe anyone would say.”
“Do you know that in certain places you behave poorly?”

Senior (smiling): “He hammered me a little.”

And that’s it. The Late Show stuff ran for about 5 minutes. At 9:15 it is back to the OCC build. Then at 9:17 it is back to PJD, who- and who knew?- created PJD Studios, to do commercials, animation, all kinds of graphic design. Ok, the reality is it is four or five guys in a hot cramped room, but even so, it is a smart move to diversify but Paulie says they need studio space. I say kick Mikey out of his waste of space studio and take over. Much like when OCC expanded, Paulie is going to find some space and build a studio. The bottom line is that Paulie has always been a visual thinker and designer. This “new venture” should be a nice fit. “It is so we can offer the clients we are working with a little more.”

Over at the Roadlok build, Vinnie was not liking the gas tank. “I guess Brendon and Cody like it.”
Paulie: “Looks good, huh?”
Vinnie: “If you’re Ray Charles.” “You know what I want to get you for your birthday? A pair of glasses.”
And guess what? At 9:53 Paulie decides to change the tank.

Cody, despite his missteps last week, is a good person and a good employee. This week, Paulie asks him to go the new studio space and do some demolition. He said “this isn’t the best work but I’m one of Paulie’s employees so whatever he needs done I’m here to do it for him.” Of course, that doesn’t stop him from attacking people in the shop with fireworks.

Senior, while test-riding his Sturgis bike, decides to pop in at PJD. The bike, BTW, is as long as a truck. Both Teutul’s seemed happy and Senior shook hands with the PJD crew, many of whom he fired or quit on him. Even Vinnie got a curt handshake and body language tells all, Vinnie immediately crossed his arms and looked like he wanted to be anywhere but next to Senior. He didn’t look uncomfortable, he looked angry.

“I think his shop is pretty (bleep) cool.” -Senior. “I think he learned a lot from me.”

Paulie has the idea to produce a commercial for the OCC Cafe, which is a nice fit in my book.
“I’m not paying you (bleep)” -Senior, laughing
“We’ll talk about it.” -Paulie, rubbing his hands and laughing
“You can have a cheeseburger.” -Senior

To wrap up the show, Senior goes to Sturgis and rides with Sugar Bear himself, who made the bike’s front end.

NEXT WEEK: In the midst of an all-day American Chopper marathon, there is no new show. As of this moment, it is all repeats next week. However, check back since Discovery has been known to release titles and descriptions late.

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