Tag Archives: Florida

Imponderable #77: Port St. Lucie Florida

18 Jan

January 18, 2012

rash

Policemen often save lives. They are trained to stop the bad guys and rescue little children. Then there are the days when some guy pulls down his pants and you have to look at a rash on his balls.

I am an avid viewer of old cop shows, specifically Dragnet and Adam-12, and I never saw Friday and Gannon or Reed and Molloy deal with a situation like this.

Uninspiring as that story is, I think it is a fine example of good police work. If it were me I would have given him the ticket and told him to show it to the judge. But rather than pass the buck, this officer did his rather repulsive duty and did the right thing, so good for him. Of course, I can only imagine the ribbing the other cops gave him back at the station.

But wow, what’s up with the rash guy? If I had a rash that bad that I could not stop scratching I’d have it slathered in ointment, cream, anti-itch powder, whatever the drugstore had. And if it were on my balls? No way would I just drive around with it.

I hate even thinking about it because it just puts disgusting images in my head of how bad this rash must have looked if the officer immediately gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Blech, I’m shivering. Those testicles must have looked like raw meat.

What the heck was wrong with that guy’s balls?

The question is grossly Imponderable.

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Imponderable #53: Port Richey Florida

6 Jul

July 6, 2012

What more can I add? The man has his priorities.

I’ve never been a beer drinker. If I want bad tasting foam then I’ll know there is something wrong with me.  Me? I’m a Pepsi kind of guy, like my role model George Costanza.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJPXK1Z_o6s

But I totally get that there are some people, like the afore-mentioned Mr. Whittle, who lead very beer-intensive lifestyles. I’ve covered the link between beer and crime before. For example, there was Imponderable #11, in which a man fleeing from the police  was caught because he would not stop drinking beer as he ran. In fact, pretty much any time there is a lot of beer flowing you can expect guys to be doing something stupid.

Of course, this is a little different. Mr. Whittle robbed the bank before he drank his beer.

Aren’t you supposed to get drunk, decide that robbing a bank is a good idea, then have the robbery foiled because you spent thirty minutes trying to push open a pull door until the bank closed? Isn’t that the way these things work?

I really want to know what this apparently sober man was thinking.

So what was he thinking?

The question is Imponderable.

Ya know, this reminds me of a movie I haven’t seen in ages.

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