Tag Archives: Dunkin’ Donuts

I Went To Meat… And Beyond!

11 Nov

November 12, 2019

I was in my local Dunkin’ Donuts (or DD as they like to be called nowadays, to the ire of Daredevil fans everywhere). It was strangely derelict-free.

Dunkin’ D has joined the growing trend of fast-food restaurants that serve meat-that-isn’t-meat. Surprise! It is some sort of plant based thing, made from, I don’t know, algae? Plankton? Triffids?

Triffids. It is made from Triffids.

They’ve got a lot of nerve calling this a sausage. Anyway, I had no intention of trying one. I’m a real man. Real men eat real meat, whether it comes from a cow, coyote, or crow. That’s real eating right there. This plant-based abomination? Save it for the Bernie Sanders supporters.

But if there’s something I like as much as real meat, it’s a freebie, and this D Donuts was giving out free samples of this sandwich, little pieces of plant-based “sausage” on a little piece of bagel with a little piece of cheese. About the size of a quarter of a sandwich. So I tried it. What the heck? The worst it could do to me was give me severe stomach cramps.

If this tray was full of free arsenic sandwiches I would have taken one.

The first thing you have to know is that the color is deceptive. On the outside it is a brownish-red, but on the inside, all green. Yes, this is green on the inside. Totally unlike meat but very like something plant-based.

But how does it taste? It tastes absolutely unlike meat. Completely and totally non-meat-like. What about the consistency? Again, nothing like meat. It was like eating leaves that were pressed together. Not chewy but not falling apart. Honestly, it was OK. Just not meat.

Bottom line- would I eat it again?

It will never be my first choice, or my second choice. Not my third choice either. But if ever found myself in a situation where there was no other place to eat for miles around, and there was nothing else to eat but this, I would eat this. The taste was OK, whatever it was, with a hint of spice. Triffid never tasted so good.

 

 

 

 

 

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My New Halloween-Themed Drink

18 Oct

October 18, 2016

 

I was in Dunkin’ Donuts the other day with Saarah and she was ordering tea. I’m not a big fan of hot drinks. Coffee? No thanks. Tea? Pass. I prefer to get my caffeine the old-fashioned way: Diet Pepsi, just like Grandma and Grandpa did.

dunkin-donuts-710x400Saarah is pretty specific about her tea. I can’t give away exactly how she likes it because it is her intellectual property and don’t you dare try to duplicate it, but I can tell you that the main ingredient is (got a pencil handy? You may want to write this down) steamed skim milk.

So she tells the girl behind the counter how she wants it and for once the girl gets it right. Now, here is where my inspiration comes in. I’ve got a great idea for a Halloween-themed drink and it all comes from what the girl said to Saarah. Saarah asked if the milk was steamed and the girl answered “I steamed the head off it.” 

VIOLA!

And that is how I invented decappiccino. Get it? No head= decapitated cappuccino = decappichino. It’s brilliant! 

And not a hint of pumpkin spice.

drinks

But I’m not sure what the girl meant by “steamed the head off it.” Must be a coffee drinker thing.

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