I Went To Meat… And Beyond!

11 Nov

November 12, 2019

I was in my local Dunkin’ Donuts (or DD as they like to be called nowadays, to the ire of Daredevil fans everywhere). It was strangely derelict-free.

Dunkin’ D has joined the growing trend of fast-food restaurants that serve meat-that-isn’t-meat. Surprise! It is some sort of plant based thing, made from, I don’t know, algae? Plankton? Triffids?

Triffids. It is made from Triffids.

They’ve got a lot of nerve calling this a sausage. Anyway, I had no intention of trying one. I’m a real man. Real men eat real meat, whether it comes from a cow, coyote, or crow. That’s real eating right there. This plant-based abomination? Save it for the Bernie Sanders supporters.

But if there’s something I like as much as real meat, it’s a freebie, and this D Donuts was giving out free samples of this sandwich, little pieces of plant-based “sausage” on a little piece of bagel with a little piece of cheese. About the size of a quarter of a sandwich. So I tried it. What the heck? The worst it could do to me was give me severe stomach cramps.

If this tray was full of free arsenic sandwiches I would have taken one.

The first thing you have to know is that the color is deceptive. On the outside it is a brownish-red, but on the inside, all green. Yes, this is green on the inside. Totally unlike meat but very like something plant-based.

But how does it taste? It tastes absolutely unlike meat. Completely and totally non-meat-like. What about the consistency? Again, nothing like meat. It was like eating leaves that were pressed together. Not chewy but not falling apart. Honestly, it was OK. Just not meat.

Bottom line- would I eat it again?

It will never be my first choice, or my second choice. Not my third choice either. But if ever found myself in a situation where there was no other place to eat for miles around, and there was nothing else to eat but this, I would eat this. The taste was OK, whatever it was, with a hint of spice. Triffid never tasted so good.

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “I Went To Meat… And Beyond!”

  1. T E Stazyk November 11, 2019 at 2:24 pm #

    I can’t get past the idea of DD serving burgers! When did that happen?

    Second, Triffids! Great movie. I’ve only seen the 1962 version, not the newer version, but I highly recommend the book–Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham. Nothing like movie and much more dystopian. Speaking of which, maybe it should be renamed Dystopian Donuts.

    Like

    • bmj2k November 11, 2019 at 3:14 pm #

      It’s not a burger, it is their version of a breakfast sandwich, just less appetizing. But to be fair to your point, they did try selling chicken sandwiches not long ago.

      Day of the Triffids is a great book. I also love the faithful BBC radio series. They made a new movie? The 62 one is the only one I know.

      Like

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