Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride

November 18, 2014

Your Daily Horoscope: November 18^th, 2014

• Aries: Today will be a good day to indulge your hidden desires, but not in public! That sort of thing is still illegal in this country.
• Taurus: You will come into money today! A Nigerian Prince will contact you about transferring a large sum of money out of his country. Be sure to give him your social security number.
• Gemini: The moon is in the second house. See loser? Even the moon can afford two houses, and you still live your parent’s basement.
• Cancer: You will get cancer. HA! Just kidding!
• Leo: Avoid using deodorant today. This will keep your boss from approaching you with extra work.
• Virgo: Today will be a great day to email a Taurus while pretending to be a Nigerian Prince.
• Libra: Today is your lucky day! If you’re hoping your wife will ask for a divorce, that is.
• Scorpio: You might want to consider getting a cool tattoo on your face, just like Mike Tyson.
• Sagittarius: Magic 8 Ball says: YES
• Capricorn: You will meet a handsome stranger. His name is Jeph. You will dislike him intensely.
• Aquarius: If you know anyone who is a Taurus, don’t let on that I’m just screwing with him about that whole Nigerian Prince thing, OK?
• Pisces: Insert your own “Uranus is ascending” joke.

Tags: Aquarius, Aries, astrology, bmj2k, Cancer, Capricorn, daily, fortune, Gemini, horoscope, Leo, Libra, life, love, luck, Mike Tyson, Mr. Blog, Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride, Mr. BTR, Nigerian Prince, November, Pisces, relationships, Sagittarius, scam, Scorpio, tattoo, Taurus, Uranus, Virgo, wife