Tag Archives: Allen Keyes

A Thanksgiving Public Service Announcement:

19 Nov

November 19, 2012

Yeah, turkey is kind of bland and dry, and unless it’s accompanied by a large side order of football, kind of boring.  And yeah, EVERYTHING deep-fried is delicious. So it follows logically many will try to deep fry their turkeys this Thanksgiving.  Why is this a potentially bad idea? I’ll let Fireman Freddy (NOT his real name!) explain to you:

So if you must have your turkey in deep-fried goodness, please do it responsibly! We want all of our readers to be back here next week complaining about how their creepy uncle got drunk and inappropriate  and the bratty kids ate all the cranberry sauce that you were planning on throwing onto your gigantic “thanksgiving on a bun” sandwich that you always have for breakfast the day after while everyone else is in a deep food coma, and how the freakin’ Lions didn’t cover the spread AGAIN….I mean all they had to do was kick the field goal instead of trying for that touchdown! WHY MATTHEW STAFFORD? WHY?!!!!!!!!!!! I LOST ALL THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT MONEY ON THAT GAME OH NO……..NOW I HAVE TO SELL MY BLOOD FOR PRESENTS AGAIN…..*deep breath*

Now lest you think me sentimental, let us all laugh in horror at some deep-fried turkeys gone very, very wrong. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! Special bonus at the bottom of this post!

 

SPECIAL THANKSGIVING DAY PRE-REQUISITE BONUS!!!!!

 

 

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SSSSSSmokin’!

12 Nov

November 12, 2012

SMOKIN!

Mr. B has been on his on-again, off-again bad toy kick. Which got me thinking about the BEST toy.  No, not Lincoln Logs. Not an Erector Set. Play D’Oh? NO! The best toy evah is…….

SMOKING POPEYE:                       

Yes, it’s as cool as it sounds! A Popeye that…..smokes. Fun for the family! But it really was a gentler time, when kids could actually have a toy like this. You could NEVER get this toy to market today. And it signals a sea change in the country, because there was a time when 9 out of 10 doctors endorsed smoking, and it was considered very glamorous thing to do: 

Mr. BTR has no clue who this actress is.

Hubba hubba!

But while us humans are slowly moving beyond smoking, there’s still one segment of the planet that is embracing smoking with a passion:

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS! TODAY’S SEARCH: SMOKING ANIMALS

1)

More fun that a barrel full of smoking monkeys! Monkeys are the most intelligent animal in the kingdom aside from us, so it figures that they’ve been smoking for quite a while now. There’s also unconfirmed reports that rhesus monkeys have started playing Barry White music before they…..uh, get busy with their monkey significant others.  Smart indeed.

2) 

Now this is a very civilized goat. You can’t see it behind the fence, but he’s wearing a natty jacket with patches on the sleeves. Unfortunately, he’s smoking rum and maple blend (UGH)

3) 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Isn’t that just the kewtest widdle thing! If that little one needed a light from me, I’d flick my bic! We all know how much Mr. B WUVS kittehs!!!!

Speaking  of cute cats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kYNId_Kvbo (The White Shadow one is my favorite!)

4)

This is NOT Pierre D. Duck, the World’s Greatest Duck, who is very anti-smoking and will quack at you if you smoke. You can find the link to his Facebook page in the sidebar.

The AFLAC duck celebrates after closing on the Glengarry leads…..

5)

Now that’s one bitch that knows how to party! (See what I did there?)

6)

Um…..what? This one doesn’t make any sense, but it’s so wonderful that I don’t care! This gives me hope that I can fulfill my dream of one day seeing a dolphin take a bong hit. For now, the closest I can come to that magical day is this:

 

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