Archive | Writing RSS feed for this section

The Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride Wiki

15 Aug

August 15, 2011

(It’s not really a wiki.)

I received an email at the rarely used and even more rarely checked Official Email of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride. I check it when I remember that it exists, which is about once every month to six weeks. That isn’t a problem because in the couple of years since I started it, it has all been, with one exception, junk. (The one exception was a short note from the very funny and good sport Bruce Vilanch, in reference to this post. Yep, I’m a name dropper.) In fact I check it so rarely that I won’t even give the address here in case it motivates someone to use it. But if you insist, click on the “The Author” tab and you’ll find it.

So the other night I looked at the account and found a message from someone calling herself “Internet Goddess.” In a nutshell, she said that she liked the blog (I checked the email, she is a subscriber) but wondered “what is the whole thing about?”

In short, it is “an absurd look at the absurdities of this absurd world.” Catchy, but perhaps not specific enough. So to answer the Internet Goddess, and for all the newer readers, here is a quick rundown of some of the blog’s more popular features. They have no set schedule. Many of them can be found under the tabs on top, which tend to rotate every few months.

The Saturday Comics

Every Saturday I feature a newspaper comic strip which catches my fancy. Generally, but not always, they are long out of print or a still-running old strip. I will occasionally feature something from old comic books, like ads. It is one of my most straight-forward and accessible features. I have also added some older comic book blogs under the banner.

Picture Postcards
These are pictures, about half the time taken by me, of interesting or unusual sights. I am quite proud of a couple of them.

Imponderables
My newest feature. An Imponderable is a funny news story with a ridiculous but unanswerable central question. They tend to be outrageous or inane but always true. After recently finishing an entire week of Imponderables a new one can be found every Friday.

The Late Night Movie House of Crap

This began as a showcase of strange, bizarre, and just plain bad movies but has stretched to include some obscure but fun films.

Mr. Know-It-All
This is the blog’s oldest, angriest, strangest feature. Imagine Doctor Phil with a serious drug addiction, angry at women, usually drunk, and giving the worst, most profane advice to actual letters taken from various advice columns. Dear Abbey on crack does not even come close. I warn you, they are almost all Parental Discretion Advised.

The Tepid Zombie

This is what this blog would look like if it were written after the apocalypse by a zombie. Frankly it isn’t much different but looks much cooler. The zombie used to be an accountant and his lifestyle is still sedentary, but with some brain munching.

TV and Movie Reviews
These are reviews with my own odd spin. I hit reality TV pretty hard. These also freely mix fact and fiction, but underneath them all is usually an actual review. In fact, my Apocalypse Now review is strangely serious and probing.

The American Chopper Weekly Rundown

Immediately after every new episode of American Chopper I provide my summary and analysis. It began as a not so serious goof but lately has taken a serious turn. These posts receive more comments than anything else on the site. If you’re looking for a place to trash Paul Teutul Sr., this is your destination.

Sneak Peek of the Week
As you would expect, every Sunday I give a glimpse into the future and give some hints about what the next week of blogging will bring. They are accompanied by a nice graphic and sometimes they are a feature in and of themselves with content that you can only see on Sunday.

In Search Of


This feature freely mingles fact and fiction. It mingles them to the point of unrecognizability. Each one is a look at a different paranormal topic. Imagine The X-Files meets Fractured Fairy Tales and you start to get the idea.

News Roundups
These have been supplanted by The Imponderables. Each one was a compendium of a month’s worth of strange and silly news.

The Big Ape

Not actually a feature, but you may come across the multi-part Big Ape series. These were about a series of movies and the worldwide phenomenon they spawned, all created by my great-grandfather.

Most of my posts don’t fit into any of those categories. I write about anything that strikes my fancy and I usually try to be funny about it, though I do put in a serious one once in a while. You may stumble across a good number of posts about the strange things that have happened to me while doing the laundry, proving that “life’s most serious moments and most incredibly dumb moments are often distinguishable only by a momentary point of view.”

If a particular series isn’t tabbed at the top you can do a quick search of the index. With nearly 1,100 posts there is something to grab your attention, but as I always say, this blog contains mature themes and even more immature themes. Adjust your disgust accordingly.

Secret Origin Of A Super-Villain

1 Aug

August 1, 2011

Think over the top bad guys and evil geniuses exist only in comic books? Think again.

Johnathan T. Pinney first came to the public’s attention in 2008. He had been arrested for biting a police officer. Ordinarily, that wouldn’t be enough to get noticed by the nationwide press, but at his trial he had a few demands. 

There was more but that gives you the idea. I direct your attention to the third paragraph. This man has been found fit to stand trial.

He claimed he “embraces evil” and wanted to wear a cape for his trial. At the hearing, he “fingered his beard while sitting at the defense table.” Personally, I would have said he fingered his beard diabolically while sitting at the table. That’s the way to write an article.

As you might expect, things didn’t go so well for him. That was the last we heard from Mr. Pinney until this article from this past July:


This guy needs a comic book name. Too bad Doctor Doom is already taken. (BTW- Dr. Doom isn’t a doctor. He never finished his degree. Victor von Doom dropped out of college and it was all the accursed Reed Richard’s fault.)

He wants his own nation. Can this get any better?

Yes it can. 

Doctor Mayhem has thought this one through. He wants his own country. Not just any country, but one with an adequate water supply, and he has given thought to the issue of “native pest control,” by which I assume he means any native population. He is clearly an evil scientist since he refers to the “stimulation of volcanic activity” which I take to mean that he will soon develop a secret lair inside an active volcano. And he seems to know many hidden secrets since he demands access to Area 51. Can he be forging an alliance with hostile aliens, like the Skrulls? The diplomatic immunity and fifty billion dollars are just icing on the cake. And the money, I’m sure, will go a long way in financing the creation of a race of Atomic Supermen with which to rule the world.

This man is too dangerous to go free. Surely he is also too dangerous to remain in the general prison population. If he has gone public with his demands, I can only assume that he has already amassed his henchmen and goons and will soon escape the prison via an inter-dimensional tunnel, or at the very least a hot air balloon like Gene Hackman in Superman II.

I urge the authorities to take this man seriously. He needs to be imprisoned in The Phantom Zone, ASAP.