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American Chopper 2016: Presidential Edition

23 Feb

February 23, 2016

tepid 2016

Wow, everything old is new again. It has been a very long time since I did an American Chopper Weekly Rundown, but just like it is time to Make America Great Again, as somebody somewhere keeps saying, it is time to Make Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride Great Again too. And what better way than to bring back one of our all-time favorite blowhards?

Wait, am I talking about Paul Teutul Sr. or Donald Trump?

Frankly, what’s the difference?
-they have both been covered extensively in this blog- weekly rundowns of both American Chopper and The Celebrity Apprentice
-they both yell a lot
-Trump’s hair may or may not be any better than Paul Sr.’s neck beard

Trump also had the pleasure of firing Paul Sr. on The Apprentice, a pleasure I wish we could all have once in our lifetime.

celebrity_apprentice_2012

Anyway, Paul Sr. today publicly made his endorsement for President: Bob Dole, who at age 92 is not running. Upon being informed of that fact, Paul officially endorsed Donald Trump in a video you can find on Trump’s Facebook page, twitter account, and pretty much anywhere else with his name slapped on it. It is understated and subtle, as befits these two quiet and dignified gentlemen.

https://www.facebook.com/DonaldTrump/videos/10156674068880725/

In a video released to Facebook this afternoon, Paul Teutul Sr. urges everyone to vote Trump for president. In the short clip, Paul Sr. is shown in his workshop explaining how he first met Donald Trump on “The Tonight Show” and went on to work for the presidential candidate on “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

Talking about his experience on Trump’s reality show, Teutul says that “nothing but greatness” was expected from him, and that Trump also expects greatness from his family and the people around him.

While pointing at the camera, Teutul says that he believes Trump will make America great again and urges everyone to cast their vote for his former “Apprentice” boss. Trump posted the video on his own official Facebook page this afternoon.

Read More: Paul Sr. From Orange County Choppers Endorses Trump

I only wish I could see the bloopers and alternate takes. I bet he calls Hillary numb nuts and takes unnecessary shots at his son, Paul Jr.

Meanwhile, for another perspective, here is an unnecessary photo of Paul Sr. in a dress from an episode of American Chopper.

I can explain it but I won’t.

PAUL SR DRESS

 

 

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Fun With The Google Doodle AKA Is That Fred Sanford?

9 Feb

February 9, 2016

I am sorry to inform you, Dear Readers, that Allan Keyes has returned to the pages of The Tepid Ride, for apparently no other reason than to insult me. Letters of complaint should be addressed to Allan Keyes himself, as we disavow all knowledge of his activities.

keyes1.jpg

Allan Keyes is back, baby! Now that Mr. Blog has lifted his restraining order, I am back to doing what I do best- improving Mr. Blog’s internet ranking. Just look at this chart I made up found on the internet:

Views of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride when Allan Keyes does not post 13 views per month
Views of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride when there is a new Allan Keyes masterpiece 1,068 views per minute

So Mr. Blog needs me, and if he knows what’s good for him he’ll keep those checks coming.

Anyway, when I am not pursuing my highly rewarding career as a master vintner, I can often be found on the internet, where I use my time productively googling things like old Moms Mabley performances on YouTube.

Google does a stupid picture (my God, I am not going to type “google doodle,” that’s just wrong) for pretty much any event, so according to google, Black History Month is just as important as the birthday of the guy who got a high score on Frogger. Now Allan Keyes is nothing if not loving and tolerant, unless you piss me off, so I have to stand up for Frederick Douglass.

This is the google doodle (ok, I did it) they used to honor Frederick Douglass:

clean google

Now I know as much about Black History as the next guy, as long as the next guy is also white, but I say that is not Frederick Douglass, it’s Redd Foxx.

foxx meme

And trust me, no one has done more for black history than Redd Foxx. Except maybe Frederick Douglass. And a lot of other people. But none of them have gotten away with saying this on network TV:

Ah, I love the 70’s. No one gave a crap back then. Tarzan movie, HA! Does laughing at that make me a racist? Uh oh.

But getting back to the point, whatever it was, it turns out that Redd Foxx is a dead ringer for Frederick Douglas

Frederick_Douglass_portrait_900x6002

celebrating-frederick-douglass-6263843829317632-hp

So to sum up:
– Allan Keyes is back
– Screw you Mr. Blog
– Frederick Douglass was born too soon to do standup in Las Vegas
– He also kinda looks like Moses in that doodle too
– Here’s the return of the Fat Guy Eating a Cheeseburger

fat guy beef

 

 

 

 

 

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