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Gimme Back That Filet o’ Fish. Why? What For?

2 Mar

March 2, 2010

I admit I don’t get it. And that annoys me because it is a flippin’ McDonald’s commercial I’m talking about. You know the one. Two guys in a car are about to bite into the usually-cardboard-tasting (tartar sauce helps) Filet o’ Fish when one guy gets a call from his Big Mouth Billy Bass, who sings this song:

Gimme back that filet-o-fish
Gimme that fish
Gimme back that filet-o-fish
Gimme that fish
What if it were you
hanging up on this wall?
If it were you in that sandwich
you wouldn’t be laughing at all!

Is he mad because the fish sandwich is made out of him? Does he want to stuff it back, somehow, inside himself? Or is he just hungry and wants to eat it? Maybe it is an existential harangue by the fish on the inequity of life, which finds him stuck on a wall while two slackers eat a sandwich made, possibly, of him?

I dunno. It has a memorable tune and here I am with it stuck in my mind, so I guess that’s the point.

BTW- what kind of “o’ fish” is the Fillet o’ Fish made out of? Alaskan Pollock, which the internet descries as “edible” or, if that’s not available,  a Japanese fish called Hoki, which is also edible but very very ugly.

Hey, anyone remember the old o’ fish song? Where some kids tried to find what the “O” meant and discovered that “Oh we all put the O in McDonald’s Fillet o’ Fish”?

I don’t either.

Am I Your Portal to Charo?

19 Feb

February 19, 2010

Am I your portal to Charo?

The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (hereafter known simply as “me”) really want to know.

Since moving to WordPress, while this site has not exactly set the blogsphere (or blogoverse, if you prefer) on fire, it has more than tripled the number of readers I used to get when I blogged on the unpainted side of a barn. But I digress.

So while I am not getting hundreds or thousands of views per day, I am getting anywhere from 95- 155 per day. Big numbers? If you are CNN, no. If you are the guy who posts different irrelevant top ten lists every week, no. (This week’s was about mail order brides. He left one out- #11- They drug you and steal your kidneys while you are on vacation.) Again, I digress. Wildly. I am digressing the Hell out of this blog. Anyway, big numbers. Are 95-155 views per day a lot?  If you are me, yes.

What concerns me, though, is what drives these numbers. Let me show you a sample of search engine terms that have driven traffic to my blog over the past few weeks.

SEARCH
richard simmons
charo                                                                                
picture of charo
1970 + role model
role models of the 70’s
charo cuci cuci
richard simmons images
welcome back kotter
did jimmie walker attend esther rolle’s funeral
esther rolle funeral
marcia strassman
juan epstein
who were 1970 male role models?

See a trend here? These were not one-time searches, theese turn up every day in my blog stats. So every day someone goes to google or yahoo or googwho or whatever and types in “did jimmie walker attend esther rolle’s funeral.” Every single day someone types in “charo cuci cuci” and ends up here. Some days these searches are responsible for over half of all my blog views.

Who knew Charo was still so popular?

Anyway, for anyone who really needs Charo pics and more, here are the links you need:
1970’s TV Role Models
1970’s Role Models Round Two
1970’s Role Models Round Three
Who is the best 1970’s television role model? FINAL ROUND!

For better, and possibly funny, blogs, try these:
No Toilet No Bride
Early Saturday Morning, Drunk in the Laundromat
The Brighton Beach Rats
The Burger King Whopper Virgins
A Day In The Life of Tony Danza’s Agent

Do I feel like a tool for plugging myself? Yes I do. But not as much of a tool as the guys who search for Charo cuci cuci pics every single day.

And if you happen to be one of those guys, thanks, and this is for you: