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Imponderable #125: The Metrocard

9 Mar

March 9, 2015

I don’t ride the subway that often, so it was a little surprise that when I went to refill my Metrocard, the machine said that it was about to expire and couldn’t be refilled. Used to be they didn’t expire.  The machine gave me the option of replacing my card, which I did. It gave me back my old one, then gave me a new one I could put money on. I filled the new one and threw the old one away.

This is really ridiculous. One of the benefits of the Metrocard is that it is refillable, therefore you use less of them, and fewer end up in the trash (or on the floor of the subway station, more often.) But here they just gave me a new one and forced me to throw the old one away, when the simpler option was to just add more time to the old card. It would have saved the use of a new card and kept the old one out of the landfill.

What’s up with that, NYC? Huh?

metrocard_395

By the way, when I was in High School, the Metrocard was just being tested and was only in use in a handful of stations. Students used to get a subway pass that they had to show the guy in the token booth, but one year they moved to Metrocards, which doubled as passes since most stations weren’t yet equipped for them. I still have the first few I was issued, so I have some of the very first Metrocards ever made (as I’m sure thousands of others do too. I’m pretty sure they aren’t worth anything.)

 

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Snappy Answers to Stupid Newser Headlines February 2015

22 Feb

 

February 22, 2015

Hello again, devoted readers. (I’m talking to you, Randall from Austin Texas.) Time for more Snappy Answers, the blog feature which has been the subject of numerous accolades over the past months. Here’s just a sample:

“I look forward to your snappy answers blog because at least it’s better than when you try to write stories.” – BoredReader27
“Funny that you make fun of Newser when at least they have readers.” – getmoreinsurance.com
“Tolerable.” – your loving Aunt Matilda

With love like that, how can I stop?

ns1

Spoiled Monkey Named Couple’s Sole Heir. Ostracized pair say Chunmun is like son they never had.

I hate spoiled brats. Never have to work a day in their lives, get everything handed to them on a silver platter. I bet that monkey never had to earn a single banana in his life. I wonder what kind of people these are, because saying that a monkey is like the son they never had really doesn’t say much about them.

ns5

Fake Jackson Pollock? Software Lets You Know. And it goes to show how unique painter’s work is.

Don’t you hate it when this happens? You go to the store, and you see a beautiful painting in the Jackson Pollock section. You buy it, and when you get it home the neighborhood art critic tells you that it’s a fake. Happens all the time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bough fake Jackson Pollocks at the corner deli. Thank goodness there’s an app that can spot them. (I’m pretty sure they don’t come in six-packs, but they’re on sale at Wal-Mart this week and I have to know.)

ns2Lawmaker Blames Absence On Tight Underwear. “I find it difficult to sit for any length of time,” Says Canada’s Pat Martin.

This guy must be nuts. (Cue rim shot.)

For a view of the opposite problem, read about the time Christopher Hewett Belvedered right here.)

ns3‘Toxic Poopsicle’ Closes Indiana Exit Ramp. Tanker truck dumps up to 400 gallons of raw sewage on roadway- and then it froze.

Don’t you hate it when this happens? “Sorry boss, I can’t come to work today. The highway was shut down because of frozen raw sewage. No, I haven’t been drinking. No, this isn’t the worst excuse I ever had.”

But really, I just chose this article because of “poopsicle.”

ns4Beloved Clown Found In Sex Offender’s Home. It disappeared from amusement park years ago.

Do I really need to add anything? That picture speaks for itself.

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