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Late Night Movie House of Crap: The Newlywed Game

19 Apr

April 19, 2012

For those of you unfamiliar with the classic version of The Newlywed Game (not the awful version with Carnie Wilson) check this out and then I’ll be back to explain some more.

This was a Chuck Barris-produced show in which married couples were split up and asked the same questions. One partner had to predict how the other would answer the same question and the couple with the most matches won. Simple. The fun of it was that the host, Bob Eubanks, had the amazing ability to ask even the most innocent question in a sexually-tinged way. Of course, there were few “innocent” questions- the phrase “making whoopie” popped up a lot- but even the innocent ones were designed to sound dirty. And it helped that the contestants were not chosen for their Mensa scores.

What I am posting next is one episode in its entirety, in three parts. This is the notorious “Archie and Edith” episode in which the contestants look and sound and act eerily like the Bunkers from All in the Family. I won’t spoil it for you, but wait for the exchange that follows “think of the children.”  But don’t count out the other contestants. There is a strange man with a poor command of the English language who looks very much like Patrick Troughton and his young wife. (She married for money, he for a green card is my theory.) There is the snooty banker-type (his moment to shine comes late in part three) and the man whose remark about premeditation hints at more in his past than I would like to speculate.

Settle back and watch this all the way through. I first caught this episode on the Game Show Network a few years ago and I still have it on my TiVo today. Enjoy it now and thank me later.

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: A Meeting Is Set

16 Apr

April 16, 2012

For those of you who missed it, Donald Trump fired Paul Senior on last night’s Celebrity Apprentice. His task? Put on a puppet show. He failed. But did he really lose? His teammates loved him, he was (until last night) universally praised by Team Trump, and he never lost his temper. In fact, other than badgering George Takei in week one, he came off as easy-going and affable. Millions of people who never saw him on American Chopper have a very different opinion of him than we do. It was an amazing job of spin control and changing his image.

A MEETING IS SET April 16, 2012
 OCC starts a 1970s-themed build for MyPillow, while PJD puts the finishing touches on a bike for Newmont Mining. Then, in a promising move, Senior and Junior agree to meet in person.

A lot of Jason to begin with. Sorry. MyPillow has hired OCC to build a 70’s bike and of course, who do you think of when you think 70’s? Jason Pohl of course. Luckily Senior has some ideas.

PJD is finishing the bike for the mining company and the centerpiece will be a lump of gold straight from the mine.

Vinnie and Rick got together in the usual diner and the topic was the odd text (U lie stay away from me) that Mikey sent to Senior last week. These are the two sanest guys in their shops and they genuinely care but really, they should both butt out. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Rick, surprisingly, reported back to Senior that Vinnie knew nothing about it. Rick, stay out of it! Meanwhile, the man himself, Mikey has not appeared yet this week.

At about 9:30 Paulie called Senior to set up an off-camera meet. I think he’s right. Senior agrees but he also says it is like he is cheating his fans. Why is he worrying about his fans when his son is reaching out him? I think someone is really managing his image behind the scenes.

“The bottom line is that I have to make a phone call and reach back out to him.” Where would this show be without cell phones?

Meanwhile, and forgive me giving them short shrift, the bikes were built and unveiled and the show ended without Mikey but it did have a phone call between father and son to set up the meet.