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Allan Keyes Recalls the FOX EPIC LINEUP!

4 Mar

March 4, 2013

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Remember when Fox Network programming sucked? I mean it sucks now, but in the same general way that all networks suck nowadays. But remember when Fox was just getting off the ground in the original programming game? The good shows like 21 Jump Street (or as I call it, the Richard Grieco Experience) and Married With Children were few and far between, but crap like romantic comedy Duet (soon turned into unfunny comedy Open House )  was the norm.  That said, I still like Parker Lewis Can’t Lose to this day, and if you say anything bad about it, well you and I are gonna have harsh words son.

Now this is not an exhaustive list – Fox has had MANY sucktastic shows from Models Inc. (notable only because it provided a classic Simpsons line. I’ll let you have the joy of Googling it) to something called Top of the Heap,  the epic fail Married With Children spinoff that gave us Matt LeBlanc playing the classic TV character, Vinny Verducci. 

There was one point where Fox had an absolutely EPIC power bloc of programs that Mr. B and I still talk about to this day:

Hermans Head  

It’s not actually a bad idea: quasi-likeable William Ragsdale has to navigate life based on the infighting and bickering of the personified voices in his head. It was probably the least objectionably pathetic of these early Fox shows. It displayed occasional flashes of almost-comedy, and at one point Yeardley Smith joined the show, giving it major starpower.  Fox currently has a void in the “voices in my head” show now that House is off the air. It’s also a good thing that William Ragsdale turned down the offer to play Jack Bauer in 24 some years later, otherwise TV history may have been quite different!

Good Grief     

A sitcom about a funeral home. Featuring a transvestite and Howie Mandel. What more do you need?  And what more do I need to say? Not that I  can – I remember nothing about this show save that it sucked.

Woops !

This is the holy grail for me. I could not find a single clip of this anywhere! Only the following two stills.  If you have clips, or know where to find, send me the info and Mr. B will pay you handsomely. Basically the cute premise- by a fluke chain of events, the world ends due to nuclear holocaust (which makes the title design below all the more ironic. Haha! Mass death is funny! I understand the original title for this series was “Dancing on Our Graves” but for some reason the censors vetoed it)

Anyway, the central conceit of this show is that somehow – I don’t care enough to check, sorry – a disparate group of survivors ends up in a cabin that they can’t leave because of giant spiders lurking outside. And as you can imagine, hilarity ensues when personalities clash!

whoops

whoops cast

 

You think any of the actors involved put this on their resume? Or would admit to it?

 

Terrible Toys / Saturday Comics: Bag on Head Spider-Man

2 Mar

March 2, 2013

treasure chest of sat com

This one begins in Saturday Comics and ends in The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

Everyone knows that Spider-Man’s black costume, which he picked up on an alien planet, turned out to be a symbiote which tried to bond with him and control him. That creature eventually became Venom, one of Spidey’s greatest foes (and bad guy in Spider-Man 3. Hey- is this also a Late Night Movie House crossover? Yeah, why not?)

Anyway, the only thing that can get the alien off of Peter Parker are powerful sonics. Spidey goes to the Fantastic Four where Reed Richards uses a special sonic gun to free Pete and trap the alien. (Not that he stays trapped for long…) Problem is, Spidey had no clothes on under the suit, so he borrowed an old FF costume to go home in. Of course, the Fantastic For do not wear masks, so Spider-Man had to get inventive.

1118798-amazing_bag_man_super

Which brings us to the toy. Eventually every single person in every single panel of every single comic book ever published will get its own action figure. And this is no exception.

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Allan Keyes and I are on opposite sides of the fence on this one. He says that this is the one action figure he actually would go out and buy. I think it is totally ridiculous. (BTW- note the packaging. Yet another Spider-man costume variant.)

Hasbro Marvel Universe Future Foundation Spider-Man Bag Head Fantastic 4 FF Variant One Per Case 2012 (10)

I just can’t see spending money on this. It was funny in the comic as a two panel joke, but as an action figure? Really? This looks like it is headed to the Island of Misfit Toys to me… or maybe just the Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.