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Chiller Theatre 4/27/2014: Give David Faustino A Coffee

28 Apr

April 28, 2014

Today was the Chiller Theatre convention and let’s get the burning question answered: Was Greg “The Hammer” Valentine drunk? I can’t give you a definitive answer, but here’s how I answered that question last year:

And now, I present Greg “The Hammered” Valentine, April 2014!

Hulk Hogan Fan Appreciation Day at Toyota Park - July 10, 2009

As in years past, some of the more interesting things in the convention are the times when the celebs are let loose and on their own, like anything having to do with Todd Bridges last year. This year’s person of interest was Bud Bundy, (not) better known as David Faustino. I have nothing against him, other than the fact that calling him a celebrity offends me. Ronald McDonald is more of a celebrity. Want proof? Which one hasn’t worked in 25 years (at least in nothing not in the bargain bin at your local gas station) and which one has been steadily employed and loved by millions of (overweight) kids? I rest my case. But other than that he seems like an OK guy. He was signing at the convention and didn’t seem too busy most of the time. But he had am amazing tan, and considering that this is April in the Northeast, that’s saying something.

At one point I was hanging around the snack counter. I had fifteen minutes to kill before my appointment to have a professional photo taken with Walter “Chekov from the Star Trek” Koenig, who was a last minute replacement for Abe Vigoda. (Abe had not died, only cancelled. I think his colonoscopy results came back today.) While I was there, David Faustino came out and went to the counter for coffee. He asked how much it was, the young semi-English speaking woman behind the counter told him $2, he paid, and got his coffee. After he walked off, the young woman started smiling and giggling, and went over to another semi-English speaking woman and said (in semi-English, which I will clean up) “do you know who that was?” the other woman said no, and the giggly one said “he’s on the TV late at night! When he was a kid! I can’t remember his name!”

Ah, fame.

But I was a little put out. As I said, he seems like a nice guy, but David Faustino was an advertised guest at the show. They couldn’t give him a free coffee? Cloris Leachman was there. I bet she got comped. I’d be surprised if Dominic Chianese got charged. But David Faustino? $2 for a cup of coffee which, by the way, he had to pour himself.

In other convention news, I met and took pictures with WWE Superstars The Godfather and Demolition, Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling, and Walter Koenig. Demolition were a pair of great guys, For some reason, we wanted to talk about their tag team championships while they wanted to talk about how crowded the place was yesterday. Go figure. And Jackie Martling was so gracious I almost felt bad saying “F Jackie” to him. (If you know Martling, you know that’s actually a compliment.

There was also a great display of famous monster props. Check them out below.

 Planet of the Apes

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Monster Trio Monsters1

Phantom of the Opera

Phantom of the Opera

 

Werewolf of London- Henry Hull

Werewolf of London- Henry Hull

 

 

 

Uncle Lou

13 Apr

April 13, 2014

uncle lou

If you are looking for proof that there are too many channels and not enough good programs, this is it.

I was up around 1:30 this morning and was just flipping around looking for something to watch when I came across a show on REELZ, a network that specializes in obscurity. The show was called The Capones and it is a reality show that focuses on a family of stereotypical mafia-style Italians named Capone. Are they related to Al Capone? Beats me. I only watched ten minutes, enough to satisfy my curiosity. And what whet my curiosity? This description did.

louiewooie

“Uncle Lou believes he has the clap.”

Don’t you love this golden age of television? Back when I Love Lucy was on the air, Ricky and Lucy had to sleep in separate beds and they could not say the word “pregnant.” And now, decades, later, here is Uncle Lou catching “the clap.” Ah, progress, you truly are a bitch.

Anyway, I never did find out if Lou has “the clap.” I do know that he has ridiculously dyed eyebrows and mustache. In the scene I saw, Lou confronted one of his relatives, who seemed to be half drunk, about the continued employment in their restaurant of another relative, who seemed to be fully asleep, and was, right next to the bar. Then Lou told her that she seemed to be depressed and told her to see a psychic. Is she a real psychic? Yeah, replied “she has the Shining or something.”

At that point I grabbed my cell phone, snapped a few pics, and changed the channel.

Is this the face of a man with “the clap?” Decide for yourself, but I think that “the clap” is the least of his problems.

And I also believe he has “the clap.”

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