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Imponderable #66: Michigan

26 Oct

October 26, 2012

Tonight’s Imponderable is beautiful in its simplicity. Unlike many of the items the Imponderable has featured, this is one I wished I thought of myself.

I wonder what the American Restroom Association’s position is on this? I write about toilets all the time here at bmj2k.com. Just put “toilet” into the search bar atop the page and see what I mean. From tribal villagers who choose cell phones over toilets to little children who dream of commodes for Christmas I’ve covered it all. But for once, I am all aboard on one.

This is a great business model. The owner of the restaurant/arena/building gets free toilet paper, thus saving money. The advertisers pay based on the distribution, which is the same model that the free newspapers at your local grocery store use. It is a proven successful model. And probably likely to be more successful. While you can stroll past those freebie papers at the end of the checkout aisle, sitting in the bathroom stall you are a captive audience. And who doesn’t read on the toilet? While I certainly want to spend as little time as possible on a public toilet, there have been time when I would have been bored enough to read the toilet paper. Sure, I am always complaining about rampant advertising and the fact that it is getting impossible to avoid dumb ads, I think this is too perfect a marriage to object too.

And who would not want to wipe their ass with a picture of one of the guys running for President?

Why didn’t I come up with this idea?
The Question is Imponderable.

Fun With Teh Internets: BACON PORN

22 Oct

October 22, 2012

If you’re anything like me, you probably lost your mind when you saw this story not too long ago about a possible bacon shortage  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57519703/global-bacon-shortage-unavoidable-group-says/  Furthermore, if you’re anything like me, you probably ran down to the supermarket to go full on hoarder mode and grab as much as you could squirrel away for either the coming shortage, or the zombie apocalypse, whichever would come first. Hopefully you weren’t anything like me, knocking down a pregnant woman grabbing for that last package in a meat-fueled frenzy. I blame my dad really. When I was a kid he cooked me bacon sandwiches – delicious crispy bacon on white bread w/ spicy brown mustard. Swear to god, I never had anything so good before or since.

Thankfully, the bacon shortage has been avoided! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! So now we’re free to gorge ourselves on greasy-nitrate filled meat products until our hearts gum up or burst, whichever comes first.

So today, I present to you, the best of bacon. You’re welcome!

Today’s Search:  AWESOME BACON

Number Five:Just a reminder to you all – Thanksgiving is coming. Liven up that crappy dry turkey with bacon deliciousness.  Hell, who needs the turkey???

Number Four:

This is quite possibly my favorite survival product EVER. And this is coming from a guy who watched “Doomsday Preppers” for tips. I mean look at this beauty:  BACON IN A CAN. WITH A MILITARY RIFLE ON THE LABEL. Excuse me while I break out in a spontaneous National Anthem………

Anyway, if you want to live the high life while in the bunker, you can add tactical bacon to your survival cheeseburger:

 

I’ll be honest – just off the picture, I can tell you I’ve had worse burgers.

Number Three:……………****DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL****……………….

It’s been awhile since our pal made an appearance, but I think we’d be remiss if he was excluded from the fun:

 

Number Two:

That’s right…..dessert bacon! This beats the hell out of plain old apple pie any day of the week.  But for those of us who don’t have time to bake and need our desserts on the go:

 

Number One:

Bacon Faberge eggs!!!!!!!  Now this is art I can get behind! None of this Van Gogh or DaVinci horsepucky.  At any rate, I’m going to cook myself a few bacon sammitches now. Here’s a preview of how it will all turn out for me:

 

Good for me! The pig…….not so much. It’s good to be at the top of the food chain (except for that Gorilla with the sign language skills…I’m pretty sure he could make us his b*tches if he really went for it)