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Imponderable #71: England

30 Nov

November 30, 2012

Remember Pippa Middleton? Wasn’t she one of the Hobbits? I don’t know anymore and I didn’t care ever. Back when Prince Freddie and Princess Ungo got married, or whoever, she was there, I think. I never got caught up in the Royal Family Wedding Hysteria. In fact, and this is how my mind works, when I read the name “Pippa Middleton” this is what I thought of:

Hmm, perhaps the Imponderable should be “How does my mind work?”

We’ll save that for another time.

What a brain! From the “math is hard” school of little girl’s role models, here is some more of her advice found in online reviews of her book. These are real:

“Nowadays,” she continues, “I frequently celebrate Halloween over a supper with friends. It’s a wonderful excuse to let your imagination run riot with gory-looking food and special effects.” Among her suggestions:  “Stir witchy cauldrons of pumpkin soup; hang homemade spiders inside window nooks; string cobwebs on tables; and haunt gardens, attics, and stairways with ghosts made from sheets.”

This is a professional party planner, ladies and gentlemen. By her standards (use sheets to make a ghost) every eight-year old is a party planner too.

Seriously? Here is what I learned from her book.

1- Turkeys are big so they can feed a lot of people.
2- Boxes are good for keeping things in.
3- Halloween is a spooky time of year.

This is why she is more known for this:

than she is for this:

Just as a point of reference, here is that Peppa Pig that seems to be setting England aflame:

I still prefer Henrietta Hippo myself.

I guess the real question is why anyone would care what Pippa Middleton thinks about anything in the first place?

The question is Imponderable.
And also hypocritical given the fact that America may be the most starstruck nation in the world. But if I had to ask someone for advice about anything, I think I would probably ask Pippa Middleton before Khloe Kardashian.

The Saturday Comics: Thanksgiving Covers

24 Nov

November 24, 2012

Comics are just like reality. They celebrate the same holidays we do. Wether it be Christmas, Thanksgiving, or the anniversary of the day Superman rocketed to Earth, you can find a cover to commemorate the event. And sometimes, like your uncle Moe at the dinner table, they tell strange stories. Let’s see what comics have to say about Thanksgiving.

Donald Duck. Patriot. Member of the NRA. And fearsome turkey hunter. will he catch the turkey? Will his nephews outsmart him? Will that ancient gun explode the moment he pulls the trigger?

Things are getting desperate for that poor turkey. He’s really buttering up, or perhaps hitting on, Donald. Hey , if you were going to be served for dinner you’d go to extreme lengths to survive too.

I guess the turkey won. And it looks like Donald has found some appropriate replacements. I am not sure under what circumstances ducks will turn to cannibalism, but Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Them’s good eating.

Let’s see if Bugs Bunny can do any better.

This is one proactive turkey. If I were Bugs I’d be thinking about letting Elmer Fudd go after this one.

Yup, this turkey is not taking things lying down. I think the odds are pretty good that Bugs will end up on the bird’s dinner table.

Nope, Bugs Bunny won, but judging from the crazed look in his eyes he may never be the same again. Poor guy has been traumatized for life.

So far the turkeys are taking pretty good care of themselves, but can they beat the Justice Society?

Yes they can. This turkey is managing to elude Flash, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern. He’s the Lex Luthor of turkeys, and just as bald. What is next for the foul fiend, world domination?

Next up is a bird who ended up roasted but still seems to have gotten some sort of revenge.

It seems that Solomon Grundy is immune to salmonella poisoning. I would never accept dinner at Grundy’s house. Would you expect an undead swamp monster to wash his hands after restroom? I don’t think so.

This is just weird. Aside from Lana having a crush on her own brother for all those years, why would Superboy wear his costume around the house and to serve dinner?

And lastly, I had to end with something that, while not a comic book, is what the season is all about.