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American Chopper: Junior’s Surprise

8 Oct

October 8, 2012

THIS BLOG IS BEING UPDATED AS I WRITE IT. IT WILL BE UPDATED AND EDITED EVERY FEW MINUTES AS THE SHOW EVOLVES. I AM DOING THIS IN TANDEM WITH THE EPISODE THIS WEEK

Here at bmj2k.com it is Batman Week and in celebration OCC is working on a new Bat-cycle.

No they aren’t, here is what the gang is up to this week:

American Chopper (Season 8)
Junior’s Surprise
OCC starts a build for Sturgis, PJD unveils a high-tech bike for QUBX and the Teutuls finish their father-son build. Later, Junior and Senior take their new bike for a ride and Junior has a big surprise for his dad.

I wonder what OCC would do with this bike?

The big surprise was ruined for the viewers in the opening tease so I’ll ruin it for you too. Paulie gets an email from the owner of the original bike they are recreating. Neither Teutul has seen it in 10 years so Paulie makes a deal to borrow it to surprise his father with, alongside the new bike. What a coincidence that the owner decided to contact them, out of the blue, at this particular point in time after a decade. Anyway, Paulie is going to hop down to Florida, fix up whatever the bike needs, and bring it back so that when they take the new bike out for the unveil, Paulie can ride up on the original.

OCC is building a bike for the Sturgis rally, a bike like they have not done before (how many times have I written that about various bikes?) which Senior has always wanted to do. It’ll be a 60’s/70’s Easy Rider-style bike, long with two seats. This one is going to have shock absorbers (most of their bikes don’t) because Senior says “I want to ride this one.” As some of you pointed out last week, with the huge antlers on the Widgame bike, many of the OCC bikes are show pieces and not practical to ride. In fact, Senior often seems surprised when they are good to ride.

The Senior bike is using the twisted bars that Senior likes to make a sissy bar. He did the same thing on the POW bike. And speaking of unrideable, CLICK HERE to read about how the POW bike was so unrideable it was returned to the Teutuls.

PJD hit a minor snag when Cody got drill shavings on a carpet and Paulie “had to reprimand him a few times.” What a change from when Senior would scream at Paulie for leaving soda cans and tools and dirt all over the shop.

Strike Two for Cody- oil was leaking out of the front end of the QUBX bike because Cody left out the O-rings. This led to a dressing down by Vinnie, not to mention a lot of backwards work to undo the front end, put in the O-rings, and rebuild it.

With the tank painted and the tablet holder mocked up, the QUBX bike is looking good. The tablet mounts to the side of the frame and swivels to whatever position is comfortable for the user. Props to Vinnie for the design and fabrication.

Last week the tease was that Senior might be angry that Paulie had Nub do the paint. They ignored it last week and this week, at 9:38, Senior says “I’m waiting for Paulie to bring the gas tank from Nub” so that’s that. Way to go, Discovery.

Senior says that he spoke with Mikey a couple of day s ago, and Paulie says that since he’s been off the show he’s been happy, hanging out at Woodstock. If Mikey is getting his act together, which is long overdue, then good for him because he was a physical and mental wreck.

“I haven’t enjoyed being around my father this much since I was a kid.” Paulie. “I hope after the project we can figure a way where we can still spend time together.”

At the QUBX unveil, the fabrication went right up to the last possible minute, as right before the unveil they had to add on the last piece of the exhaust. I can’t say it’s my favorite PJD bike but it is different.

Junior presented Senior with a plate that said “Made in the USA TEUTUL” to mount in the bike as the final piece. But a bigger surprise was yet to come- the original bike. Senior was shocked and touched. He had a look of awe on his face.

“I thought it would be in a scrapyard someplace.” -Senior. Paul Sr. rode the original bike while Paulie rode the new one.

“I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a ride as much as that one.” -Paulie, on riding with his father. “I honestly did not want it to end.”

NEXT WEEK:

American Chopper (Season 8)
NewVenture
Senior receives a stern, on-air lecture from a late night celebrity, Junior launches a new business venture and Senior visits PJD for the first time ever. Then, at Sturgis, Senior rides side by side with a bike industry icon.

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Mr. Blog’s Tepid Search Engine 2012 (NEW!)

27 Sep

September 27, 2012

I am so proud of my blog. And you should be just as proud of yourselves.

I’m being sarcastic. This is just weird and so, it seems, are you.

 I was checking the gears and cogs that make up the inner workings of The Tepid Ride and I stopped and asked myself “what are all these gears and cogs doing here?” Turns out I was unscrewing my toaster. So I put it back together and, even though I have a couple of cogs left over, it still toasts a mean piece of bread. So while I was munching on some lightly buttered toast I wandered over to the computer and did what I intended to do in the first place- checked out the analytics. I only looked the past week because I scare easily.

It is always a scary thing for me to do. While there are a great many search terms that lead people here, like “American Chopper blog” and “tepid ride” that make sense, there are a great many more that I am not so sure I want to take ownership of.

In fact I lay this first batch right at the feet of Allen Keyes. And that is a fearsome task since his feet are usually ready to kick. But no matter who is to blame (and it sure isn’t me!) the ultimate blame goes you, Mr. John Q. Public, and your wife, Mrs. Estelle Q. Public, and your kids, Ray and JoJo Q. Public. Someone please tell me why anyone would search for:

fat black guy
fat man eating
fat black people
fat guy eating burger
fat ginger man
fat man
fat black person
fat guy cosplay
fat guy eating a cheeseburger
fat ginger
fat optimus prime
fat dude
fat man eating a cheeseburger
fat guy eating
fat guy cheeseburger
fat pizza
fat black guy eating a cheeseburger
fat guy superhero
old fat guy
black fat man
ginger fat guy
weird fat black man eating hamburger
happy fat guy

Let me point out that A- all of those searches in some way  led to Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, and B- I think you guys may be a little racist. And what’s up with all the fat searches?

But as I said, I do come by those honestly. After all, I have posted any and all variations of this picture:

But at the same time, while those search terms could have led to any site, there were a couple of related search terms that I proudly say can only have come from Mr. BTR since it was this site that coined these terms (and if we didn’t we still say we did):

norman snackmunch
homburger

But fat wasn’t the only search term leading the unwashed (and smelly) masses here. Similarly, these terms also brought people to bmj2k.com:

man eating a hamburger
man eating hamburger
black man eating burger
black guy eating a cheeseburger
black guy eating hamburger
guy eating

Why? Who would google “guy eating?” And take it from me, have your safe search filter on for some of those searches.

This picture also seems to have motivated people to come to my blog.

Don’t lose that loincloth!

For the record, that old guy is Japan’s #1 porn star, Shigeo Tokuda also known as

dirty old man
retro pervert

At least I assume that retro pervert relates to this. What else could it possibly be?

There were also a few searches for “sexy gorilla” and no, I did not try that myself. I do not want to know. If you were one of the people who searched “sexy gorilla” then I ask you to please don’t send in an explanation. I prefer to pretend I never saw that.

Aside from American Chopper, the show that gets the most searches is Hardcore Pawn. I get a schmabillion (that’s a million with a boatload of zeroes after it) searches for that show and I only wrote one single post about it!

ashley gold ass
ashley broad gold ass shots
ashley broad got fat

Before you think the public has one thing on its mind (Ashley’s Broad ass- see what I did there?) her brother also gets a pretty common search:

hardcore pawn seth is an asshole

I agree. I also see the search “why do the people on Hardcore Pawn wear the same clothes” a lot. A LOT. A whole lot more than you’d expect. As a public service, let me explain.

The people on Hardcore Pawn wear the same clothes because the show is filmed over a number of days and pieces of various days are edited together so they have to wear the same clothes or they would be wearing different outfits throughout the show.  Each episode is not entirely composed of one day; they are composed of a few days edited together for whatever story the producers want to tell.

Another show I only wrote about once but generates a lot for traffic is Long Island Medium.

long island medium crap

It is worth mentioning here that the show sucks and the medium is a fraud.

Strange terms leading folks here included

tiny muscle man
tiny midget
dwarf man

Isn’t “tiny midget” redundant? And “dwarf man?” Is that some sort of dwarf and man hybrid?

mr t versus Dracula

I goggled this one myself, and no matter what spell check says, I refuse to capitalize google. Call it my one man protest. Adam Yauch would be proud. Anyway I googled it and where did it lead? Not to me. I went through the first five pages and no links for bmj2k.com appeared. However, when I switched to images, the tenth picture was from Mike Mongello as it appeared on my blog. It had Dracula but no Mr. T. Go figure.

I was happy to see that monkey man in delhi led to me as that was one of my first and still favorite blog subjects. Someone remind me to make that the next Classic Repost.

the pants that ate fred mertz. Hee hee, google that one yourself.  Warning. It is not dirty. Sorry to disappoint.

whatever happened to the actress who played mary on little house on the prairie? I don’t know, nor do I know how that has anything to do with my blog.

lee horsley Hardscrabble himself!From my very own Twitter sensation Hardscrabble & Fist!

mayor doucheberg is popular too. The insult, I mean, not the man himself, who is a self-righteous arrogant prick. But Mayor Doucheberg sounds a lot better than Mayor Self-Righteousarrogantprickberg.

But, and I am serious, the number one search term leading people here over the last week is “kittens.”

Yup. Kittens.

I told you at the start, you guys are weird.

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