Archive | July, 2013

Jimmy Fallon Ripped Me Off

25 Jul

July 25, 2013

The New York Daily News ripped me off.

Alley Oop ripped me off.

The New York Times ripped me off.

And now Jimmy Fallon ripped me off.

 

 

I now take you back to May 24th, 2013 and Imponderable #94, when I wrote:

Anthony Weiner thrust himself into the New York City Mayoral election yesterday.

“I’ve thought long and hard about this,” he said as he stood proud and erect in front of his audience. “I feel that over the last few years I’ve shown you what I’m made of, and I’ve exposed myself to the will of the public.”

Weiner’s announcement came at the climax of what was otherwise a flaccid news day.

“I will not go limp at the finish, nor will I allow my poll numbers to slip. I will go deep in the race and I will finish first. And I will leave the electorate satisfied.” Candidate Weiner then basked in the afterglow of his ejaculation.

 

Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride: TRENDSETTER!

(And OK, the joke was really obvious, so my question to Mr. Fallon is, what took you so long?

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Man With The 140 Pound Scrotum: UPDATE

24 Jul

July 24, 2013

Last week, I brought you one of my favorite Imponderables, a story about Wesley Warren, who Belvedered and his testicles swelled, and swelled, and swelled some more, and ballooned up to 140 pounds. And in a twist worthy of Rod Serling, after he had them surgically removed, he was left with a one inch penis.

Yowtch!

Yowtch!

I can’t say I had much sympathy for the guy, after all, I was too busy laughing, but on the other hand, this really was a horrible, terrible condition, and I couldn’t fathom anyone going through what he went through.

And then I read this.

scrot1

This is what passed for celebrity these days, I am sad to say. The man was worried he was going to miss the celebrity his 140 pound testicles brought him. Yes, he will miss being the freak with the giant balls who couldn’t walk more than thirty seconds because his inhuman nuts were too heavy.

I can only hope that he finds new celebrity as the man with the one inch penis. He may not love, sexual gratification, or dignity, but I sure hope this tool finds fame.

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →