June 20, 2012
My brother and I found ourselves in Adelman’s Deli the other day. You might recall this as the place where I encountered the reclusive North American ROTNAC some time ago. Click here to read my explorer’s journal of that strange expedition.
Adelman’s is one of the few decent delicatessens left in Brooklyn. It is also a novelty as it is a Jewish deli (corned beef, matzoh ball soup) run by Arabs. It got some press about that a few years back. The food is pretty good and they have a tiny but free salad bar. All you need to do is spend $8.50 and the salad bar is on the house. And make no mistake; it is pretty hard not to spend $8.50 there. A sandwich will run you that, at least, plus a drink, side dish, etc. I’m not sure if anyone has not gotten the free salad bar.
Until tonight.
Across from us was a table with three senior citizens. Their average age was somewhere between “cretaceous” and “giant redwood old.” Now I usually applaud that sort of thing. I really do think it is nice when a group of oldsters gas up their Little Rascals and go out on the town, staying out until as late as seven o’clock. But seriously, I really do think it is great when older folks get out together. Too many times they stay inside and don’t get out enough. But this time it went wrong.
Disclaimer: As you read this, bear in mind that I am acutely aware that senior citizens often live on tiny fixed incomes. I know what that’s like. End of disclaimer.
The three of them were arguing with the waiter about the salad bar. It seems that two of them had spent more than $8.50 but the third had not. They asked if the money they were spending apiece over $8.50 could be applied to the third so he could get salad bar too. Nice try. In fact in my head I could hear my Dad’s voice saying “bravo!” He’d have tried that too. But he’d have known when to give up. These people did not. They argued with the waiter, they argued with the other waiter who came over to help, and they argued with the manager, who I am sure was about to tell the guy to have the salad bar except that the old folks were nasty. They accused the restaurant of being cheap, they accused the manager of being unfair (they never said to whom) and they were just generally mean. Eventually the fighting stopped and all settled down. I don’t know if the third got his salad bar or not because I was soon distracted by the table behind us.
It was a man and a woman, both senior citizens, but I am not sure if they were married or not. I got the impression they were friends, not married. They also did that thing where instead of sitting across from each other they sat side by side, the effect of which was to crush the woman against the wall. The man ordered a pastrami sandwich and ate half. He wanted to take the other half home but he did not like some of the slices of meat. Remember: he had already eaten half without comment but now he opened the sandwich and was scrutinizing each slice. He called over the waiter and told him that he wanted to take the sandwich home but he wanted to “exchange some of the meat.” About five of the slices had to go. One was too thin, one was too fatty, one was overcooked, etc. He laid out every slice of meat on a napkin and was pointing out various defects with his fork. None of them were really defects, they were all fine and edible, they just were not as perfect as the guy would have wanted. I have never seen anyone try to exchange individual slices of meat in a half-eaten sandwich.
The waiter stood there looking confused. This waiter was not involved with the previous table and I am sure he’d get no sympathy from those waiters. Again, I did not see the outcome because I was beginning to laugh and since we had just gotten the check we decided to leave before I burst out in guffaws.
It was so weird.
No, it wasn’t a samurai deli.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
& they left the place smelling of old people* ( There have been studies on this. Apparently senior citizens do have a strange aroma ). Senior citizens can be just plain odd. & sometimes a tad creepy.
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And a faint odor of pastrami.
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Welcome to Introductory Gerontology 101. 😉 Although w / the folks you described, it sounds more like Paleontology / GEOLOGY.
Sheesh, I’m just middle – aged by comparison.
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I have a theory, that facts have proven right time and time again, that old people are not odd: they simply make what they were when they were young more evident (good and bad). I’m sure the slice guy was exactly like that when he was young, too, now he’s just worse. And it’s a kind of person I can’t stand, honestly. Mind, I do think consumers have rights and they should probably speak up more often, but not in cases like this.
I was in a bar once (a very good one, by the way, delicious confections and ice-cream) and I was about to order when a woman of about 40 approached the waitress with a cup of a particular coffee (I don’t know the name of it, but it’s got two layers of cream on top, one is light brown, the other white, which, of course, mix into the coffee when you stir the sugar). She was complaining because the brown cream was supposed to be on top and the white underneath, while that was the opposite. Again: they MIX when you stir the coffee. For a second I thought she was kidding, and so did the waitress, but she wasn’t and wanted another one prepared according to her weird request. I exchanged a brief glance with the waitress and instinctively I said, “I’ll take this, I was about to order a coffee prepared exactly like this”. The waitress was amused and had a hard time not showing it, the woman looked at me briefly and then lowered her eyes to the floor, mumbled that she had changed her mind and didn’t want a coffee after all and left.
The brown cream should be on top, gimme a break!!!!
Imagine this woman at 75…
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Now ypu have me wondering about the eaten half of the sandwich. He had no complaints. Did it pass inspection? How could one half pass and not the other?
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Who knows… maybe when he’s home slices have to be perfect, while when he’s eating out they’re fine anyway… mysteries of the mind ;-P
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This fellow sounds like he has some variation of OCD. Maybe he resembled an older NYC version of Adrian Monk ? 😉
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I have a perfect double for him in terms of looks attitude and accent but you have to know Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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Heard of it, but not watched it.
I think there’s a minor strain ( ? ) of OCD in my family. I believe that I’ve mentioned that some of my relatives are germophobic, but that’s just the tip of this particular iceberg.
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