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Superman, The Man of Shill

5 May

May 5, 2011

This week marks the anniversary of the day in 1938 that Superman Debuted in Action Comics #1.

In honor of the event I am going to showcase a few of the more obscure products which have been endorsed by Superman.

KRYPTONITE ROCKS

It’s Terrific!
It’s Fantastic!
It’s a Rock!

These are rocks painted green with glow-in-the-dark paint, $2.50 per rock, $1 shipping and handling. So what is the theory here? Why is Superman ripping off kids- er, selling Kryptonite? Superman is selling them to his friends- The Parasite better not send in $3.50- so they can take possession of the irradiated chunks of the planet Krypton and keep them safe, in lead boxes, so Superman can never come in contact with them. Ah. My God, this is easily one of the worst rip off’s I have ever seen. Selling rocks to kids. Anyone who bought these should go to the DC offices and hurl them back through the windows.

SUPERMAN PEANUT BUTTER and PEANUTS

Superman is the hero and protector of all humanity, except the approximately 0.6% of the population with severe peanut allergies and can die from anaphylaxis if they inhale even a tiny amount of peanut dust. I hope he changes Super-suits after he leaves the peanut factory or he may end up killing the very baby he rescues from Brainiac.

Check out this ad for Superman peanut butter. Superman is willing to protect the secret of its great taste with his life! I don’t blame him. Once Lex Luthor gets the secret of great taste, he can corner the peanut butter market, and how far behind can grape jelly be?

SUPERMAN CINEMATIC PICTURE PISTOL

There is a short filmstrip in the gun. You look through the hole in the back of the gun and see a frame of a filmstrip. Pulling the trigger advances the film.

This is easily, hands down, the most irresponsible toy I have ever seen. Yes, I get that this is from another era, that kids were routinely given toy guns and even real guns to play with. I get all of that. But whose idea was it to put a movie inside a gun? To teach young kids to put a gun to their heads and pull the trigger?

A movie in a gun? Thanks, Superman.

SPECIALMAN

OK, it’s a Japanese rip-off but out of all the stuff on this page, this is probably the most fun. But given the amount of lead probably used in the paint, it is likely also the most dangerous.

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8 Responses to “Superman, The Man of Shill”

  1. Mac of BIOnighT May 5, 2011 at 12:12 am #

    “But given the amount of lead probably used in the paint, it is likely also the most dangerous.”
    Yes, but if someone puts a kryptonite rock inside it, Superman will be safe 🙂

    Like

    • bmj2k May 5, 2011 at 12:43 am #

      Hey, if it means keeping Superman safe, what’s a little brain damage from excessive lead in a kid’s toy? Superman could probably find a cure for it anyway.

      Like

  2. skinner May 5, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    Wow. Yikes. I have to agree with you about looking into the gun – definitely a device from a less litigious age.

    When the Spider-Man movies were at the height of their popularity, (both in general and with Mr. Eight,) we managed to locate a Chinese knock-off Superman figure with a Spidey symbol on his chest and a paint job that looked nothing like either. If it wasn’t for the hair, cape, and jaw, we wouldn’t have known it was supposed to be Supes.

    Like

    • bmj2k May 5, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

      I’ve got an affection for the Japanese knockoff hero figures. I’ve never been moved enbough to buy them but I once planned (and aborted) a blog about them. Maybe I’ll do a double post this Saturday- Saturday comics in the morning, knockoffs at night. I already have a bunch of pics.

      Like

      • skinner May 5, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

        Looking forward to it!

        Like

    • bmj2k May 9, 2011 at 4:30 am #

      No! I knew it was missing but had no idea it was returned. I know a lot of people in the comics industry have been involved in raising funds for the restoration of the home.

      Like

  3. The Hook May 12, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

    Awesome post, man – again! I loved the look back at Superman’s retail history. Good stuff.

    Like

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