Archive | 9:50 am

TAG! You’re Akeem!

25 Mar

March 25, 2010

I was tagged just recently. No. no one sprayed graffiti on me. This meant I was to go to the first picture folder on my computer and post the tenth picture in it.

No, that isn’t me.

However, in the early days of my computer life, when I was ignorant enough to think that, since AOL was pre-installed on my computer, I had to use it, that was my avatar.Why? Because back then I thought it was funny. And you know what? That stupid picture still makes me laugh.  (BTW- remember when you used to get about a thousand AOL discs in your mail, and the mailman had to deliver them hourly just to get them out of the post office, and you never had room for all your other important mail, like the envelope that had your 10% dry cleaning coupon?)

So that was my avatar and no, it isn’t even close to what I look like (my beard is much scragglier, and my faux-kufi is green) but I still got people popping up on the AOL instant messenger to tell me “I like your little picture.” That is why I eventually disabled the instant messenger.

Anyway, they guy in the picture was really a pro wrestler who called himself Akeem, the African Dream. Look again my friends, the guy is about as African as Tim Gunn but much less flamboyant. And that is really saying something when you see how he used to dress in the ring.

Anywho, how, whatever, Akeem used to be a tough guy called the One Man Gang. He dressed like a fat biker and had skulls on his outfit, tattoos, and a Mohawk.

Don’t ask me why, but in the world of pro wrestling that wasn’t good enough. They gave him a manager named Slick, (AKA The Doctor of Style)  and if you thought Akeem was offensive you should see Slick. (His theme song was “Jive Soul Bro,” and if you can stand to stick around to the end of this blog, you’ll get to see the video.)

Unbelievably, shockingly, fill in the blank with your favorite adverb, Akeem got over, meaning he was big with the fans. They even made toys of him, and if you can afford to bid almost $4 you can still get one on eBay.

By now, I’m sure you’re thinking “why am I reading this?” or “what’s in the fridge?” but if you’re like me you have to wonder who the Hell thought that a white guy acting like he was African (not African-American, actually from Africa, as you’ll also see if you stick to the end) with a pimp manager was a good idea.

It was this guy:

Before I go on, I feel that an apology is needed. After you see the next two videos you’ll know why.

Here, in all its five minute glory, is the birth of Akeem. I warn you, this is not for the faint of heart:

And lastly, here is the video to Jive Soul Bro.

%d bloggers like this: