June 2, 2015
OK, I admit that I’ve had a, um, spotty track record in finding the Next Big Thing. I had no idea it would this hard to become the next Hollywood superstar producer/writer/director.
Let’s look back at my previous attempts at fame and glory but more importantly, fortune.
- The sci-fi family epic Hamsterus! To this day I am not allowed within 100 feet of DreamWorks studios. What’s wrong with a touching film about the love between a young boy and his giant radioactive hamster? The last 35 times I asked Steven Spielberg all he said was “I have a restraining order against you!”
- President Hobo. Wouldn’t a show about a homeless President be perfect for prime time? Even BET turned that one down.
- Murderchimp. That was something or other about some kind of chimpanzee assassin. I’m not really sure what that was all about, but I did manage to get a rejection slip from every publisher in the English speaking world. And that includes even the self-publishing places. Here’s a direct quote from Kindle Self-Publishing: “Screw you and your stupid monkey.” For the record, Kindle Self-Publishing, Murderchimp isn’t a monkey, he is a chimp.
- El Kabong was my idea to revive old time radio. It starred an invisible crime fighter who smashed guitars over criminal’s heads. Nobody was willing to buy it. No wonder radio is dying.
Well, that just leaves comic books, and I think that I have the perfect idea for a killer comic. And I plan to both write and draw it, despite having little talent at one and no talent at the other.
Here’s my pitch for…..
Dr. Ghost Zombie!
Doctor Bruin Z. Othello was your typical brain surgeon. He had money, fame, women, fancy jets, expensive cars, designer clothes, mansions in every city, his own fleet of ships, a pair of airlines, a pet puma and even a permanent apartment in the White House. Then one day as he was walking home from a charity Faberge Egg painting contest, he was fatally gunned down when he tried to stop a robbery in a bodega on the wrong side of the tracks.
Not wanting to go to Heaven, he stayed on Earth and fought crime as a poltergeist. However, one day, his arch-nemesis, The Doom Vulture, resurrected Doctor Bruin Z. Othello’s body as a zombie. Ghost Othello battled his own undead body until he was able to possess it and reclaim his physical form.
Now reunited and back among the living, sort of, Dr. Othello fights crime as the 2-in-1 crime fighter. When necessary, he can leave his body and fight as both a ghost and a zombie. The only drawback is that his body is still rotting, but the brilliant doctor is working on a cure.
There it is. What do you think? I am going to be famous!