Tag Archives: waitress

P.I. Work Isn’t All Glamour (AKA My Lunch With Amos)

20 Nov

November 20, 2017

As my fictional detective Hollywood Russell would be the first to tell you, being an investigator is not as glamorous or dramatic as the movies make it out to be. There is a lot of drudge work and a lot of striking out and getting no results. But like any other job, there are silly, funny things that happen when you least expect it. Take this story, which actually happened to me last week.

My partner and I were in Queens checking out a witness. We were interviewing a hotel manager who was called by the police to provide the video from the hotel security cameras. There was an accidental (it seems) death and it may have been recorded. For the insurance company, we needed a statement. It was provided and we wrapped it up. Cut and dry.

My partner wanted to grab a snack. He’s been on the job for over two decades and it seems that one perk of longevity on this job is knowing every place to eat in the city. So we went to a small diner he knew on Roosevelt Ave and 111th street. I may be a rookie at this game but when it comes to eating out, my instincts have him beat.

The first thing I noticed, aside from the fact that it was dark and dingy, was that the Department of Health rating was “Grade Pending.” Now while I would not normally go into a place without an A rating that wasn’t a deal-breaker for my partner. Hey, it wasn’t shut down, right? That must mean no one has died from their food. (Recently.)

I’m not saying this is the place we went to but yeah, this is the place we went to. Notice that they USED TO HAVE an A rating.

So I wasn’t going to order any food and I figured the best way to stay out of the hospital was to just order a can of soda. It arrived and with it was a glass and a straw. No ice in the glass, just a plastic glass. So what was the point? I picked it up and I didn’t need to hold it up to the light to see that it was dirty. OK, I’m going to drink this straight out of the can. And I’m not going to use the straw either. The waitress did that thing where your straw has already been unwrapped and only the top inch is still on. Why do places do that? Is it classy? I don’t know but this place clearly did not care about class. Class to me is giving a clean glass. And since the straw was unwrapped and touching the dirty plastic that was no longer an option. I wiped the top of the can and drank it that way. But this was simple compared to my partner’s order.

ME: Just a can of Coke.
PARTNER: I’ll have a cup of tea with lemon and a toasted bagel with butter.
WAITRESS: OK, that’s a can of Coca-Cola and a toasted bagel and butter.
PARTNER: Don’t forget my drink.
WAITRESS: Do you want a can of Coca-Cola too?
PARTNER: I asked for a tea with lemon.
WAITRESS: No Coca-Cola?

A couple of minutes later the waitress came back and told him they had no lemon and no regular tea, just green tea or ginger. He took green. That came not in a dirty tea cup but in a paper takeout container so he was probably safe as long as nothing was floating on top.

Right after the tea came she brought over his bagel with butter. It had a big hunk of sausage on it. And not like a breakfast sausage or patty, it looked like a half of a bratwurst stuck between the slices. He looked at me and I looked at him. I had no sympathy. I never would walked into this place to begin with.

My partner called over the waitress (“Hey! Hey!”) and told her he didn’t order any meat on his sandwich. This confused her.

WAITRESS: You don’t want?
PARTNER: Meat. You put meat on it. I didn’t want meat.
WAITRESS: You don’t want?
PARTNER: No, you put meat on it.

I don’t want to give the impression that my partner is not a good communicator but he was definitely not getting his point across.

ME: All he wants is a bagel and butter. Nothing else on it. Bagel. Butter. That’s it.
WAITRESS: Ah.

She took away the plate and after a lot longer than it should have taken (which was another warning sign) she came back with his bagel, toasted, with butter and bacon.

My mouth slowly dropped open. I wasn’t surprised, not really. I was amazed at how stupid the situation was, not to mention the waitress. I looked at my partner who looked stunned and give him a look that asked “OK Champ. Now what? Dare you send it back?” (My facial expressions can be incredibly loquacious.)

“If I send this back who knows what it’ll have on it next. Liverwurst?” So he shrugged and ate it. And how was the bacon? “Crispy and tasty.”

So we left and as we walked back to the car he pointed out another dinky little place and told me that last year he had a whole chicken dinner there.

Next time I choose the restaurant.

 

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This Is Where I Live (2)

15 Aug

August 15, 2012

This is an actual email exchange I had with the Senior Hospitality Representative of a major Italian restaurant chain. I won’t use their name, but I’ll just say that if you want to go to a pizzeria they are the numero uno place to go. Am I being too subtle? Anyway, I think the following actual and true email exchange sums up the experience nicely. And of course, I was with Saarah again. Aren’t I always? I’ve been to this place in the past many times and never had an experience like this. Today, Bay Ridge.

—————————————

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to complain about the service I received at your Bay Ridge Brooklyn [name of restaurant]. We went to your restaurant on Wednesday July 25th at about 7:30 pm. The restaurant was mostly empty yet we received very poor service. When my friend and I entered we were openly stared at by the host. Perhaps he does not like seeing an interracial couple. Although we entered together, stood with each other, and spoke together, he seemed unsure if we were really together and instead of asking simply stared at us quizzically. When I asked for a table for two, he left us to look for a table. Why? The restaurant was 90% empty. When he returned he asked us to follow him and asked me to get the menus from the podium. Isn’t that his job? As we walked to the table he inserted himself into the conversation between my friend and me. He made my female companion uncomfortable.

We were seated in the farthest corner of the restaurant. Our waitress, named C—–a, had an attitude and was rude. She slammed plates down, left them on the edge of the table instead of placing them in front of us, and would not pick up the dirty plates. Instead she put out her hand and expected us to hand them to her. We did not even get asked for drink refills until she overheard us complaining. At one point we had a problem with our order, which the manager had spoken to us about previously, and when we told her we did not like the food, she said “what do you want me to do about it?” She said it with an angry tone. When my friend told her she did not want the food, C—–a again said “what do you want me to do about it?” but this time it was openly hostile.

We were not the only table with a problem with her. We complained that is was very cold and she turned off the a/c but left the cord dangling on the bench, forcing someone at the next table to sit on the remote control. Obviously she did not bother to place the remote back where she got it, preferring to make a customer uncomfortable instead. Finally, at the end of the night, she overcharged us on the bill.

As bad as all this was, the worst part was when she brought out a tray of drinks, which contained our two drinks and four drinks for the table next to us. She put the tray down on our table- and crowded us- and served us our drinks. She then left it on our table, served the table next to us, then LEFT THE WET AND EMPTY TRAY ON OUR TABLE when she took further orders from the other group. Simply put she was lazy and rude. She did not check in to see if we needed anything until we complained. She did not take the dirty glasses from our table, just left them stacked on the edge. Even when we asked for a simple bottle of ketchup she did not bring it. She sent over a very confused man who wandered around with the bottle, unsure of what table to bring it to.

We were very disappointed and offended by our evening at the Bay Ridge Brooklyn [name of restaurant]. The service was not only poor but hostile. Even when we mercifully left, there was no one at the podium. We walked out without even a good night from the host. I can honestly say that I never before left no tip for a server. This service was so bad that I not only did not want to leave her a cent, I wanted her to tip me for putting up with her lack of professionalism. We have no intention of returning to your restaurant again.

———————-

Dear ——-,

With the treatment you received from our staff, I can totally understand why you would not want to return.  I can offer no excuses for the rudeness and lack of professionalism from our staff.  Only my most sincere apology.

Please know we do not want to lose you as a customer.

Your experience will be shared with our General Manager and Regional Director.  I would very much like to personally apologize, learn more about the food problems you had, and to try and talk you into giving us another chance.  I can assure you that this is not typical of the service we provide.

Hoping you will give me a call.

K—– B——
Senior Hospitality Representative
Mon-Fri 8:30-4:30 EST
1-XXX-XXXX

———————-

Thank you K—– but I am really not interested in discussing this further. I think my email covered most of it. I wonder if the staff was trying far too hard to be “fun” instead of “professional,” as judged by the fact that C—–a the waitress insisted on giving me a high five during the ordering process and the host was far too busy getting involved in our conversation to bother to pick up a menu. Remember- he asked me to get them from the podium.

The food was the least of the problems. My friend wanted to change the sauce on a particular dish and the manager advised her on some options and gave her the choice to send it back if she didn’t like the dish with the alternate sauce. The manager was the only one to display any courtesy or real interest in customer service.

If one thing stands out from this whole experience, it is C—–a leaving a large, wet, empty tray on our table while she took another table’s order. Bear in mind, the restaurant was almost empty and there were two empty tables within arm’s length she could have put it on. That one incident shows her laziness and blatant disregard for us.

I doubt anything you could tell me would change my mind about returning; although I am interested to find out what (if any) repercussions there are for C—–a and the host.

 

———————-

Dear —–,

Your first email had been shared with the Regional Director and the General Manager of the restaurant. I have heard back from both. Concerned about your experience and the actions of their staff. Adding this additional information will add to how disappointed they are with their staff and how they performed.

The General Manager asked for your email address, name and phone number in the hope that she could personally apologize and assure you that proper steps are taken to improve the service that they give.

I do not like to provide this information without asking if it is OK with you.

I can assure you that appropriate action will be taken–from training to making sure there is an understanding of what is appropriate behavior and how to present themselves professionally.

Would you mind if I gave the General Manager your email address?

K—– B——
Senior Hospitality Representative
Mon-Fri 8:30-4:30 EST
1-XXX-XXXX

———————-

While I appreciate that they want to apologize and discuss the matter, I feel that the matter is closed. Thanks for your efforts but I’d prefer that you didn’t give out my email.

John Cleese got better service in the Dead Parrot sketch.

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