Tag Archives: time travel

Doctor Noodles: an Adventure in Time and Space

4 Jul

July 4, 2014

Doctor Noodles: an Adventure in Time and Space, set solely in the psychiatric ward of a major metropolitan hospital.

 

Doctor Noodles stepped out of the janitor’s closet which he believed to be his time machine. He stopped making the grinding and hissing sound of the time engines only because he ran out of breath. Smoothing out his blue-stripped hospital-issued pajamas, Doctor Noodles surveyed the alien landscape before him.

To his left was the bed with the worn mattress where he battled the ferocious moon dinosaurs last week. To his right was the lamp that just yesterday became possessed by the sinister Professor Perilous and could only be defeated by pulling the power cord out of the wall socket, an action which caused him to be yelled at by the odd alien creatures who liked to dress up as doctors and nurses and poke him with strange needle-like things.

“Doctor Noodles! I found it!” Coming towards him down the hall was his robotic sidekick Mike, who rolled around in a wheelchair because his motor circuits had burned out long ago in a space liner crash. It also affected his short term memory and speech circuits.

Doctor Noodles had lost a very valuable piece of equipment. Although people frequently told him that it was an old Rubik’s cube, he knew that it was really a prismatic occulon, a very powerful artifact of the Rubik Federation. He also liked the colors and the way the patterns changed if you moved it.

“Thank you Mike, I thought it was gone for sure.”

“So did I, um yeah. So did I. But I took my meds today and then I remembered where I left it. I tried really hard and, um yeah, I remembered where I left it!” Mike seemed very proud and Doctor Noodles solemnly shook his hand.

Around the ward people slept or sat. Some watched television, some watched the ones who were watching television. Some watched Doctor Noodles and Mike. Others were off in their own adventures, where they went to happy places and were reunited with family they only vaguely remembered.

“What are we going to do today, Doctor Noodles? What about today? Do you have an adventure for today?” Mike was tugging at Doctor Noodles’ sleeve. The Doctor himself had become fascinated with some trees outside their window. The leaves were so green, and so many leaves.

“Doctor Noodles, I think today we can look for a unicorn. That’s my idea, a unicorn. A unicorn has a horn right in the middle of its head. Think that hurts, Doctor Noodles? I don’t think I’d want a horn in the middle of my head.” Mike was looking at the other end of the ward, where a nurse was making her rounds with the patients. “I don’t think that I need another pillow. I was tired and I went right to sleep. I had two pillows. I don’t need another pillow, um.”

But Doctor Noodles was busy negotiating an alliance between the trees and the birds.

 

hospitalbed

 

 

 

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Monday Monday, Can’t Trust That Day

20 Jan

January 20, 2014

I’m not working today and if you are a government employee neither are you. Of course, being a government employee means you are likely not working too hard on any day. (I’m looking at you, woman at the pickup window of my post office.) But today, thanks to Martin Luther King Jr, we all have a free day. Free at last, free at least, oh Lord I have this Monday free at last!

So, being the dynamic go-getter that I claim to be, I decided to be proactive and get ahead of the game, and other nonsense business-type gobbledygook. I dynamically got out of bed and, in a fit of proactive action, strode to my computer and, while still wearing my pajamas and unshaved or showered, googled “things to do on Monday.”

The first link was from askmen.com and that sounded good to me, because had it been from askgophers.com I might have skipped it.

They had a top ten list of things to do on Monday, tailored to dynamic and proactive guys like I claim to be when I fill out my self-assessment at work. Perfect! It was a great list, until I clicked on the very first item and ground to a dead halt.

NUMBER TEN: Use Your Weekends Effectively.

ttclock

What? What? Hello, askem.com, this is MONDAY! The weekend is over! Unless the rest of number ten contained detailed instructions on how to build a time machine and go back in time to use my weekend effectively, there’s something wrong here.

You can’t have a great Monday morning if you had a lousy weekend. Work is obviously important if you want to be successful, but there’s always something that can wait until Monday. Weekends are a time for yourself — to unwind, to relax and to think. In fact, many people do their best thinking during leisure time, because you’re free from other work distractions and can think abstractly. Whether you spend your weekends still working or raging into the wee hours, it’s time to dial it back and give yourself time to reset.

WTF? This should be on a list of things to do on Friday. How is this going to help me today?

And then I realized- I am not working today, making this effectively another Sunday. This IS STILL THE WEEKEND, really.

So taking askmen.com’s advice, I’m going back to bed.

 

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