Tag Archives: scam

The Saturday Comics: Monkeys in the Mail

2 Feb

February 2, 2015

cropped-sat-com-logo.jpg

Here’s a classic comic book ad I came across recently. Trust me, you’ll love it.

tiny dog ad

 

Of course, there is clearly a scam going on here. They are pretty desperate to get those snapshots, and not just for the “forty-nine cents and a few cents for our c.o.d. service plus postage.” And notice that the studio in the separate ad on the bottom of the page has virtually the same address as the main ad. So I can’t pin it down, but my Spidey-sense is definitely tingling.

Spidey-Monkey Sense

But this ad has maybe the best offer I ever saw. Better than Sea-Monkeys, better than x-ray specs, this is a real, live, miniature dog, the same kind Paris Hilton and the rest of the Hollywood airhead-types carry around in their purses. (BTW- think those dogs poop in there?) Or, and this is even better, A MONKEY! THROUGH THE MAIL! “Healthy and very intelligent.”

I said before this is a scam, and I can’t believe they’d send living critters in the mail “ENTIRELY AT MY EXPENSE,” and no, it isn’t clear who “MY” refers to.

But oh, to live in a world where young boys can get free monkeys in the mail! I can’t believe that every kid in America didn’t send in a coupon and break the world monkey market in the process.

 

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Part 2: New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn 2014/2015

9 Jan

January 9, 2015

We knew the ball was being dropped in Coney Island but we didn’t know where. We drove past the Aquarium, past Nathan’s (where I very cruelly did not get a hot dog), past the Cyclones ballpark, past the parachute jump, and not past another single block since it was dark and the neighborhood gets sketchy fast once you pass the parachute jump.

There were no crowds, no traffic, no signs of a party at all. Obviously they meant some other Coney Island, not this one. So we literally drove from one end to another at 8:45, only 15 minutes before the event was to, allegedly, begin. People start camping out in Times Square on November 3rd for New Year’s Eve, but in Coney Island not a single person?

Surely we were in the right place.

Surely it was the right time.

Surely we made a mistake?

There was no mistake, because just as I left I saw a sleepy security guard in a bright orange vest reflected in my headlights. He was leaning against a sign that said NEW YEAR’S EVE! FREE PARKING! If I saw this same guy with that same sign in front of a vacant lot I’d figure it was a scam and I’d end the evening locked in my own trunk wearing nothing but my underwear, but this was the official parking lot for the boardwalk so I gave it a chance.

The lot was almost (but not quite) totally deserted and I parked not a dozen yards from the parachute jump, where I saw the first signs of life: a drunk sitting on the steps.

But he was wearing a party hat. This must be the place.

Sadly, it was.

 

To Be Continued.

 

pigpen

 

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