Tag Archives: Noots

Scrappers Week Three: Spike TV Hits a New High in Low

18 Aug

August 18, 2010

Every show has a moment, an iconic scene or image that stays with you long after the show is over.

M*A*S*H: Hawkeye salutes Radar (“Good-Bye Radar”)
Seinfeld: “The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” (“The Marine Biologist”)
Dallas: Bobby Ewing in the shower (1986 cliffhanger)
Scrappers: Sal the Barber takes a dump in a garbage bag.

This week on Scrappers, Sal the Barber was ripping apart a demolished house, when nature struck. So what did Spike TV do?

Did they:
A- discreetly pan away?
B- cut to another scene?
C- document step by step how Sal used an old garbage bag and a broken toilet?
D- not only C, but also film his partner, in disgust, trying to figure out what Sal ate, as it was very stinky?
E- C and D, and also film Sal sitting on the toilet, grunting?

You know it was E. Nothing is too low for Scrappers.

Keeping the trend going, Noots was shown exiting the van with, for some reason, his pants around his knees. Thank God for blurring, but I wonder if they really did get rid of all the porn last week.

Of course, it could have been worse. Remember what happened to Sterling Hayden when Al Pacino got out of the bathroom in The Godfather?

“Tell Noots this is just business.”

Also this week, the show featured John’s Deli, a local institution owned not by a guy named John, but Robert. Let’s just say it wasn’t shown in the best light and leave it at that. I won’t be stopping in for their roast beef special anytime soon.

I look forward to next week, when, with any luck, I’ll watch a DVD instead of Scrappers.

(I wonder how this show would play in India? No Toilet No Bride)

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Spike TV’s Scrappers, Week Two

11 Aug

August 11, 2010

“Spike TV’s” Scrappers. Like that’s something to be proud of. That’s the kind of television that made Elvis shoot out his TV set.

Scrappers was on again last night so I threw my TV out the window.

At least I would have if I didn’t think one of those guys would troll by  and pick it up and sell it.

You ever see the vans they drive? I can’t believe they ever passed inspection. Remember the Star Trek episode The Trouble With Tribbles? That one, in addition to being one of the few episodes where Kirk didn’t get any alien babes, was the one where the Klingons and the Enterprise crew got into a brawl. Why? As the Klingon commander put it, “I didn’t say the Enterprise should be hauling garbage,” he said. “I said it should be hauled away as garbage!”, he clarified.  That is the scrap vans, summed up perfectly. If they want to make some money they should first junk their trucks.

But then how would they carry scrap? Who cares? That would end the show, so I’m all for it.

Anyway, as you know if you’ve seen a frame of the show, these jerky junkmen aren’t too smart. Said one (Noots? Was it it Noots? These guys are interchangeably dumb.) “I always wanted to own my own scrap yard.” Yeah, dare to dream, Bababooey. That was the dream of every kindergarten kid who got dropped on his head when he was born. Of course, this guy actually did it- he accomplished his dream! He owned a scrap yard! And he lost it. How hard could it be to run a junkyard? Fred Sanford did it. How pathetic can you be to actually lose your junkyard?  I bet it wasn’t one of those cool junkyards like on TLC’s Junkyard Wars. Those places had rocket engines hidden in the trash.

Noots probably had nothing more than a rusty ’79 Impala.

You may have missed it, because normal people who don’t blog about this stuff have better things to do, but Dino and Mimeograph put out a video to advertise their scrap business. Like the ancient heroes of myth, Dino and Mimeograph defy the Gods to stop them, and the Gods send deadly forces of nature to destroy them.  Check out this video, and watch closely!- as Drippo and Mippo survive “earthqwakes” and “sunamis.”

Am I the only one who noticed that those guys look just like former WWF wrestler The Brooklyn Brawler?

Daddy Dino? Or Pappa Mimmo?

So what happened this week on the show? It may or may not have been the same thing as last week. It is all kind of a headache inducing blur. Here is how TiVo described this week’s episodes:
 
Darren makes a mess while taking a boiler out of a building; a spat with Frankie turns into a slap fight; Sal tows his first car and smashes a Lexus.
 
A web guru puts Dino and Mimmo online; Frankie and Darren find porn; Sal’s patience is tested by a deli freezer and truck-driving lessons for Greg.
 

A slap fight? A sissy boy slap fight? “Frankie and Darren find porn.” I am sooo not going there. Just remember- if the scrap van is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.

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