Tag Archives: Spike TV

Now Serving Food

27 Dec

December 27, 2011

I haven’t written about Scrappers in a while. You do remember Scrappers, don’t you? The hit Spike TV show, now in its third triumphant season of ratings dominance?  Of course you don’t, it was cancelled after one lousy season. The show featured a bunch of lowlife stereotypes and caricatures from my neighborhood who had trouble making a living as Fred Sanford.

I pass fairly regularly one of the places featured in a couple of episodes of the show, a place called Lolly Tap’s. I’ve never been inside. Today I was walking by and a banner flapping in the breeze on their storefront caught my eye. I liked it so much I had to snap a picture. It was taken from across the street with my cell phone so the resolution isn’t the best but you can still see what I saw. 

Catch it?

Their awning, as always, reads “luncheonette” on one side and “friendly neighborhood eatery” on the other.

Below that is a new banner which reads “NOW SERVING FOOD.”

WTF? They never served food before? What kind of luncheonette never served food? How was it an eatery if they didn’t serve food?

They must have made a lot of money from beer. Those rich Scrappers spent a lot of cash there, as much as $10 bucks, perhaps.

The banner also reads “open 7 days a week.”

At 1pm on a Saturday they were closed.

So what wouldn’t I watch? Crapreality TV.

1 Oct

October 1, 2010

Since nothing much happened this week, except that for once the show focused on building bikes, there will be no rundown this week. (I’m taking the weekly out of weekly this week.) But don’t worry, I’ll be back next week with a jumbo recap of the season finale for all you American Chopper fans. And also with an apology for the vast majority of the rest of you for the last six weeks of recaps.

With all the attention I gave to American Choppers and Scrappers, not to mention The Apprentice and Hell’s Kitchen, you might wonder what else Mr. Blog watches. I watch a lot of good stuff, like Law and Order: SVU, House, and Criminal Minds, but they just aren’t funny to write about, and shows like The Middle and Modern Family are already funny and don’t need me to mine them for laughs.

But there are a ton of cable networks out there, way too many to watch, and honestly most of them are not worth watching. So here I present Mr. Blog’s list of shows too crappy for even him. These are actual descriptions taken straight from each show’s official site. But beware! One show is totally bogus and made up. See if you can guess which one.

Billy The Exterminator
In this funny family docusoap about the zaniest pest removal company on the planet, we join Billy Bretherton and his family members as they are called to take care of Louisiana’s worst pest problems.

Ma’s Roadhouse
Rick Fairless is the owner of Strokers Dallas, a Texas motorcycle shop, tattoo parlor and biker bar. His greatest asset is his 71-year-old mother, who’s also his best, but most outspoken, employee. Can Rick keep his business afloat? And can Ma keep her hands off the bartender?

 It Only Hurts When I Laugh
Watch hilarious clips of people caught in the craziest predicaments. It’s a half hour of the zaniest stunts and dumbest situations ever caught on tape.

Air Traffic Antics
Millions of people rely on airlines to get them where they are going, but to the airline workers who put in long hours, the job can be a bore. Meet the crew of WXOP 1480AM, the official low-power information radio station of LaGuardia Airport. Not just content to deliver ETA’s and self-parking updates, this team tries to add a bit of zany morning zoo and shock jock antics to the air! Watch as the FAA meets the FCC and you’ll LOL!

All Worked Up
This series goes on the job with people whose work entails delivering bad news or dealing with difficult situations where the recipient may explode in a rage. Whether it is serving subpoenas, parking violations, or towing cars, there is never a dull moment in this half-hour of non-stop action.

Bait Car
A criminal walks past an empty car with its engine running. He looks around, but sees no owner. So he steals the vehicle. Unfortunately for him, the police are watching his every move with a hidden video camera they installed on the dashboard. The officers press a button and shut down the automobile and the thief is led away in handcuffs. He’s been snared with a Bait Car.

Operation Repo
From luxury boats and planes to expensive sports cars and tricked-out trucks, if you can’t make your payments, the Operation Repo team will find you! When it comes to recovering property from deadbeat owners, Lou, Sonia, Matt, Froy and Lyndah will stop at nothing to get the job done.

OK, I have to admit that this last one is real. Here is the opening, which seems to be trying to scare the viewer away from the TV set. (Maybe they need to repo it?)

See how many times they used “zany”? Notice that these are all cheap-o reality shows? Network TV has moved away from reality this season, with more scripted shows debuting, but cable TV will always be the home of lousy television.

So let me know which one you think is the fake. You have to admit, the fake sounds just as plausible as the real ones, sad to say.

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