Tag Archives: Mr. Blog

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” -William Penn

20 Mar

March 20, 2013

Just some random, not really related, musings on the nature of time.
Somber mood here folks.

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A clock is a collection of gears and movable pieces. One gear causes another to turn, which in turn causes another to turn, ultimately a hand on the clock face moves forward a tick. It is in no way connected to the dimension of time. A clock moving backward does not reverse time, a broken clock does not stop time. The gears may move the clocks’ hands, or the gears may move a hand mixer. Neither perceives time. Perception of time is a unique characteristic of higher level living things. Biological clocks work with the decay and growth of certain enzymes, cellular growth, the presence or absence of certain biochemical markers. None of that perceives time. Humans may be unique in being aware of the motion of time.

 salvador-dali-melting-clock

 

A man takes a summer stroll through a wood.
He has never been there, has no destination in mind, he has all day at his leisure to enjoy nature.
As he walks along a well-worn path he enjoys the scent of the air, fresh grass, and slight dew.
The sun is high but not hot, the man is filled with the oneness of being.

The path moves among hills and across small, stone-filled rivers.
It gently curves, first to the right, then slightly to the left, but ultimately it wends its way forward.
After a bit of a gentle downward slope, the path branches into two directions.
Each path offers equal beauty. Neither path has more to recommend it than its brother.
It would be good, thought the man, to walk one path and see where it leads. Then, if I care not for the destination, return and walk the other path.

As far as he could perceive, neither path looped back upon itself. It seemed that once setting foot upon a branch that would be the path taken. For it seemed silly to walk the path to the end only to walk it all the way back and take the other path. And what would be the guarantee that the second path would be more pleasing than the first?

The man set his foot and began to walk. What else could he do?

 3116983321_331c386f32

 

An otherwise poor film contained the line time is the fire in which we burn. Some live their lives like a burning star, only to die before their time. Others only sputter, most smolder and crackle with the occasional flare, until they too die.

Time is the fire in which we burn artistically, if perhaps simply, points out a universal truth: everyone dies. Or perhaps to stay in the realm of the pure and scientific, entropy increases. It is a law of thermodynamics.

A man builds a small house in a remote country. Answering an urgent summons, he leaves, never to return, the house never occupied. Alongside the house is a large pile of bricks and stones that the man had intended for a small garden shed.

Over time the house and bricks remain undisturbed in the remote country. Still they remain, over years, decades, scores, untouched.

A century, perhaps, later, they have come to resemble each other, the house and the pile of bricks. Yet the bricks and stones have not risen into a shed.

And in truth even the pile of bricks and stones has not fared well. Over the long years the edges of the bricks have crumbled.  Some have fallen off the pile and split apart. Some of the stones have begun to wear smooth, the eon-long process of erosion.

 europe-3-de

 
“Fine wine improves with age,” sayeth the truism. Perhaps, but the taste is due to a chemical reaction, in a broad sense, of decay, of chains of molecules breaking apart.

“Youthfulness” is simply a euphemism for not acting your age.

“Second childhood” is senility.

And life is too short.

Am I Not Hip Too, Flo Rida?

19 Mar

March 19, 2013

I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie
say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

– The Sugar Hill Gang, Rapper’s Delight

Huh?

Is it any surprise that I am not a big fan of rap and hip hop? Frankly, once Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion I just got lost. If Snoop Dogg could change his name, where would it stop? Would the President become Barack Lion?  It was so confusing. Snoop’s name was dumb to begin with, now it is just stupid. Hey Snoop! Lay off the pot.

But rap and hip hop are full of lousy names. Yesterday, Allan Keyes introduced you to Li’l Poopy. SERIOUSLY? Is that any better than MC Pee Pants? At least Mr. Pants is a cartoon character. Li’l Poopy is about to be the centerpiece of a child welfare case.


Ok, so I’m not on the tip of the hip hop cutting edge, if you know what I mean, and based on that mixed metaphor you may not. All this brings me to Tramar Lacel Dillard. Who? You may know him better by his nom-de-dumb, Flo Rida.

If I were a rapper I’d pick MC Fred Mertz before that. Seriously, I don’t care if it is some play on “flow rider,” which isn’t so hot to begin with, the guy is from Florida so he calls himself Flo Rida and that is just silly.

flo rida

But I am not one to let a good thing go by. (Well I am, which is why I am not rich at all, but hey, maybe one of these is going to get me there.)  (Nah.)

So I, with nothing but time on my hands and no life, went through all 50 states and from that culled a list of Flo Rida-style names, which I’ve sorted into three categories: Mundane, lame, and Hip Hop Tastic! Some of the names just didn’t work- what do you do with Hawaii? Here is the best of the rest.

Mundane Chart
LAME Chart

 

hip hop chart
It doesn’t stop at lame rap names either. I am not a fan of the NCAA. DO NOT make the typo that I once did and write “I am not a fan of the NAACP.” Trust me, it didn’t go well. But I am talking about college basketball. I already hate pro basketball (if a game ends 120 to 116, was it really necessary to play 4 quarters? This game could have been decided in 10 minutes) so why would I ever watch college? But to get back to my point, I am a college graduate. Granted, I graduated from the Earl Scheib School of “I’ll paint any car for just $99.95,” but even I know there is no such state as Golden State or Gonzaga State. Seriously, what’s up with that?

I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite rap songs, from a rapper with a great rap name and who might have a mild brain disorder. I present, Bismark!  Biz Markie!