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Tag Archives: NAACP

Breakfast- The Most Important Meal of the Day (Delicious-Tasting Repost)

4 May

May 5, 2013

Mr. Blog is off trying to talk Allan Keyes out of rigging the Kentucky Derby. so for today, enjoy this Classic Repost, not seen in five years.

from June 30, 2007

The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride would like to Congratulate BMJ2K – Winner of the 2007 NAACP Image Award on his Outstanding Achievement.

NOTE: The following originally appeared in Woman’s Day Magazine, February 2006, under the pseudonym “Breakfast Betty”

Breakfast has long been known as “the most important meal of the day.” Indeed, though there has been fierce competition from both brunch and dinner, it has always been the morning meal which gives us the strength to make it through our rough days.

Back in the badly misnamed “dawn of time” (misnamed because time actually began about six months earlier) the early hominids that would later evolve to become both the human race and the French (“la culture de la sauce crémeuse“) lived in a state of near-perpetual hunger. During the day fierce predators roamed, and at night the scavengers came out. Early man would hunt in the twilight and try to find whatever sustenance they could. It wasn’t until the discovery of fire led to the innovation of bacon and eggs did humanity’s ancestors feel secure and able to meet the daylight hours. Hash browns soon followed, then coffee, then the pyramids, and then, ultimately, The Federalist Papers.

In today’s modern age, it seems silly to look back just a few decades and realize that our great-grandparents never had the opportunity to eat an Egg McMuffin. Nor did they drink Sunny Delight or Hi-C. (Both of which, by the way, contain no more than 10% juice.)

The Egg McMuffin was created by a McDonald’s franchisee who wanted to increase his profits. He reasoned that his restaurant was only open half the day, but if he opened during the morning hours he would increase sales in the previously closed early hours. He hit upon the McMuffin because it could be easily made on existing McDonald’s equipment. (True story- look it up.)

Today, McMuffin-penetration in our urban areas is fast-approaching 98%. There is not a man, woman, pre- or post-op transsexual, or child who does not have the opportunity for a hearty morning McMuffin.

The question is not, of course, whether or not to eat an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. The question becomes where do you eat your McMuffin? Important as breakfast is, many of us take the McMuffin for granted. Eating on the subway or in your car is not breakfast. Eating at your desk and dripping crumbs on your computer isn’t breakfast. Neither is gobbling your McMuffin while trying to sell a house. (If you are a realtor, this is also not a good way to sell a home.)

Breakfast should be the most human and humane meal of the day. Lunch is often just whenever you can squeeze it in. Dinner is a hassle to be endured with your family or a bad date.

Breakfast, however,  should be the basis of a good day.

Heed my advice: Make a good breakfast the center of your morning. Take it from Breakfast Betty- this column would not have possible without a strong morning meal of pancakes and vodka.

egg-mcmuffin

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Am I Not Hip Too, Flo Rida?

19 Mar

March 19, 2013

I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie
say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

– The Sugar Hill Gang, Rapper’s Delight

Huh?

Is it any surprise that I am not a big fan of rap and hip hop? Frankly, once Snoop Dogg changed his name to Snoop Lion I just got lost. If Snoop Dogg could change his name, where would it stop? Would the President become Barack Lion?  It was so confusing. Snoop’s name was dumb to begin with, now it is just stupid. Hey Snoop! Lay off the pot.

But rap and hip hop are full of lousy names. Yesterday, Allan Keyes introduced you to Li’l Poopy. SERIOUSLY? Is that any better than MC Pee Pants? At least Mr. Pants is a cartoon character. Li’l Poopy is about to be the centerpiece of a child welfare case.


Ok, so I’m not on the tip of the hip hop cutting edge, if you know what I mean, and based on that mixed metaphor you may not. All this brings me to Tramar Lacel Dillard. Who? You may know him better by his nom-de-dumb, Flo Rida.

If I were a rapper I’d pick MC Fred Mertz before that. Seriously, I don’t care if it is some play on “flow rider,” which isn’t so hot to begin with, the guy is from Florida so he calls himself Flo Rida and that is just silly.

flo rida

But I am not one to let a good thing go by. (Well I am, which is why I am not rich at all, but hey, maybe one of these is going to get me there.)  (Nah.)

So I, with nothing but time on my hands and no life, went through all 50 states and from that culled a list of Flo Rida-style names, which I’ve sorted into three categories: Mundane, lame, and Hip Hop Tastic! Some of the names just didn’t work- what do you do with Hawaii? Here is the best of the rest.

Mundane Chart
LAME Chart

 

hip hop chart
It doesn’t stop at lame rap names either. I am not a fan of the NCAA. DO NOT make the typo that I once did and write “I am not a fan of the NAACP.” Trust me, it didn’t go well. But I am talking about college basketball. I already hate pro basketball (if a game ends 120 to 116, was it really necessary to play 4 quarters? This game could have been decided in 10 minutes) so why would I ever watch college? But to get back to my point, I am a college graduate. Granted, I graduated from the Earl Scheib School of “I’ll paint any car for just $99.95,” but even I know there is no such state as Golden State or Gonzaga State. Seriously, what’s up with that?

I’d like to leave you with one of my favorite rap songs, from a rapper with a great rap name and who might have a mild brain disorder. I present, Bismark!  Biz Markie!

 

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