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Tag Archives: monster movies

Tuneful Tuesday: Music for Lovers Only

12 Feb

February 12, 2013

I had a snowday on Friday due to the huge storm that hit the Northeastern US. Technically I was supposed to be working from home but you know what that really means: I was on the couch watching War of the Gargantuas.

This is a really good old Japanese monster movie in which a giant hairy brown monster fights a giant hairy green monster, with Russ Tamblyn thrown in for American audiences. Hmm, rereading that last sentence, I realize that I may have a different definition of “good” than you do.

Anyway, somewhere in the first third of the film, the scene shifts for no apparent reason to an outdoor nightclub (no apparent reason other than the reason apparent to all of the viewers that it is about to be attacked by the monster) where a lounge singer is about to take the stage. This is a highpoint of the film and the singer is given a really large spotlight and an inordinate amount of time onscreen. The thing is though, the song stinks and the singer is awful.

Wow, she can really belt out a tune. And I love the way she somehow manages to make the song fade out as if she was dubbed.

That song is stuck in my head. And I am not the only one. I mentioned this film to my brother and he said “the one with the lousy ‘words get stuck in my throat’ song?” and he hasn’t seen that film in years.

We are not the only ones to have that unforgettable tune caught in the steel traps of  our minds. Check out this recent Scooby Doo cartoon:

Have to admit, that is totally cool. It is almost (but not quite) enough to get me to watch Scooby Doo.

But it gets worse. You never know what you are going to find on YouTube. This song was so influential that none other than Devo, not the most stable of folks themselves, covered it too. This is a short clip of them doing the song live in France, where presumably, like Jerry Lewis before them, they are revered as comedy gods.

And it gets still worse.  (Or better, depending on how you like the film.) If you plug War of the Gargantuas into Amazon.con you will find this:

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2013 split EP from Pantera/Down vocalist Phil Anselmo and Metal warriors Warbeast. War Of The Gargantuas includes two songs from each artist. This album serves as the first release of any solo work by Philip Anselmo during the span of his nearly 30-year legacy. Also, the two Warbeast tracks on the split feature former bassist Alan Bovee before his amicable departure from the band.

Not bad for a movie known for a lousy song and this guy:

gaira

Before I go, I’d like to leave you with these parting words of wisdom:

If my lips could only say the pretty words
That I feel in my heart.

If my voice could make the sound,
I would tell you how I love you
And we’d never be apart.

But with just one look into your face,
My mind starts to drift right into space,
And the words get stuck in my throat.
The words get stuck in my throat.

If I had a hidden microphone inside of my heart,
I would turn the power on.

It would amplify my love for you, and swear to always love you,
And you’d never be gone.

But with just one look into your eyes
I become excited and it’s no surprise
That the words get stuck in my throat.
The words get stuck in my throat.

And every time I try to call,
I can’t speak at all
Because the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat.
The words get stuck in my throat.

Doo Doooooo Doo Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo

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In Search of… The Mummy of King Tut

25 Mar

March 25, 2011

 

In the annals of parapsychology, no creature has a greater basis in fact that the mummy. They do exist. Mummies have been discovered in nearly every part of the world, dating back untold centuries. They are on display in museums across the globe.

The most well-known, the Egyptian mummy, is the result of a complicated process. After death, the body was treated with certain chemicals designed to preserve it long after death, and wrapped in special bandages also soaked in chemicals to aid in preservation. The body itself is adorned with all the elaborate trappings of life. Pharaohs of ancient Egypt were interred in pyramids, huge testaments to their importance and the gateways to their new world, the afterlife.

Buried with the Pharaohs were gold, jewels, and more mundane items, all of which were their for their later use in the world after death. Most of the grand tombs of the ancients have long been found to be empty, looted by grave robbers willing to risk the curses associated with the tombs for the fabulous wealth within.

The most famous Egyptian tomb was discovered by Howard Carter in 1922. It was the most complete, fabulous tomb of the young Pharaoh King Tutankhamen who ruled from BC 1333 to 1324. Along with the jewels and treasure, Howard Carter also discovered sealed jars. When opened, they were found to contain the remains of King Tut’s organs. Mummies had them removed and carefully preserved to delay or avoid decomposition.

Much is known about King Tut. Renowned as the “fun pharaoh,” he ruled over a kingdom famed for song and merriment. In fact, a song performed by King Tut himself, “King Tut,” went to number two on the Egyptian charts, kept out of the number one slot by “Nile Delta Blues” by Pinetop Per-Kin-Ra.

The song was later covered by Lady Gaga-Ra in BC 1218.

The cause of Tut’s death is unknown, but it is speculated that he was assassinated by political enemies. What is known is that after his removal from his tomb in 1922, the mummy of King Tut was reanimated when a an assistant archeologist read from the scroll of Toth. Far from being the fun-loving King Tut, the reanimated pharaoh returned to life angered at those who betrayed him.

Parapsychologists have long hunted The Mummy. Sightings have them as far afield as Scotland, where he was allegedly photographed near Loch Ness in what has become known as the Surgeon’s Mummy Photograph. Yes, Loch Ness. It was a coincidence.

The creature is driven by rage. Researchers feel that The Mummy is a threat to all of humanity. Many amateur groups have tried to stop him but not even the most seasoned of meddling kids have been able to end his threat.

The Mummy is known to be devious and clever, and uses black magic spells and incantations. He has been kept alive by drinking the juice of nine tana leaves, a species indigenous only in the mythical realm of Thundera. It is there that he is often thwarted by a group of parapsychologists calling themselves Tundercats.

Many people scoff at the mummy. They put him in the same category as the Jersey Devil and the New York Mets. Proponents point to the lack of empirical evidence. They say that magic does not exist. They contend that Thundercats is a cartoon and Mumm-Ra and Tut are clearly not the same character. Despite a keynote address by Ardath Bey, noted Egyptian expert and producer of 1932’s documentary The Mummy, skepticism remains.

The motivations of The Mummy of King Tut are not always clear. Although classical Egyptologists are divided on his motivations, most hold that he has a specific set of goals. 1- To avenge his death. 2- To find the reincarnation of his lost love and claim her for all eternity. 3- Win the Indianapolis 500.

Other aspects of his personality are also well-documented. Despite his love of his native Egypt, King Tut is also fiercely loyal and patriotic to his adopted land. In 1939 he became a naturalized American citizen under an assumed name, Kharis von Imhotep of Sweden. When World War Two broke out he enlisted in the US Army.

A series of comic books detailed his exploits and made him a modern-day folk hero. However, he returned home only to find himself once again hunted by scientists and monster hunters. Bitter and rejected he turned once again to a life of evil, rededicating himself to destroying humanity.

Parapsychological research groups continue to monitor the world for signs that he has surfaced. Credible reports are often hard to come by. One of the last confirmed sightings came in 1967.

To finance his arcane rituals he turned to a life of crime. The arch-fiend was last spotted in Gotham City.

The violence in the Middle East and the uncertainty in Egypt have given new fears that The Mummy may be behind the chaos.

The menace of The Mummy cannot be overstated. If you spot The Mummy there are certain steps to take. First, make sure you are not looking at an accident victim. The Mummy is often mistaken for victims of car accidents. Next, do not, under any means, ask him for The Mummy’s autograph, and lastly, never stare at his Ankh.

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