Tag Archives: indecent exposure

Imponderable #100: The Swimming Pool

12 Jul

July 12, 2013

In honor of the 100th Imponderable (a feat which I, with my short attention span and chronic laziness, never thought I would reach), I present this week a double helping of only in the summer Imponderables.

n1

This is a teen movie come to life. Think about it- you are all alone and a woman wants to swim, totally naked, in your pool while her husband is gone. Who is going to say no? Unless the woman is built like Roseanne Barr, no one would. So she swam around for 20 minutes, during which the man had about a million fantasies run through his head, and wham bam, long story short, no one should be surprised that his house was robbed. What could be a better distraction?

Try a small inflatable raft.

raft

Jeez Louise! An inflatable rubber raft, in public, on multiple occasions. It has to be love. Edwin Tobergta, Raft F*cker and Rosie the Raft, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G.

Or worse.

What is wrong with this nutjob?
The question is Imponderable.

A RAFT?????

Summer is the cruelest season. These crimes would never have happened in the freezing winter.

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Imponderable #77: Port St. Lucie Florida

18 Jan

January 18, 2012

rash

Policemen often save lives. They are trained to stop the bad guys and rescue little children. Then there are the days when some guy pulls down his pants and you have to look at a rash on his balls.

I am an avid viewer of old cop shows, specifically Dragnet and Adam-12, and I never saw Friday and Gannon or Reed and Molloy deal with a situation like this.

Uninspiring as that story is, I think it is a fine example of good police work. If it were me I would have given him the ticket and told him to show it to the judge. But rather than pass the buck, this officer did his rather repulsive duty and did the right thing, so good for him. Of course, I can only imagine the ribbing the other cops gave him back at the station.

But wow, what’s up with the rash guy? If I had a rash that bad that I could not stop scratching I’d have it slathered in ointment, cream, anti-itch powder, whatever the drugstore had. And if it were on my balls? No way would I just drive around with it.

I hate even thinking about it because it just puts disgusting images in my head of how bad this rash must have looked if the officer immediately gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Blech, I’m shivering. Those testicles must have looked like raw meat.

What the heck was wrong with that guy’s balls?

The question is grossly Imponderable.

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