Imponderable #100: The Swimming Pool

12 Jul

July 12, 2013

In honor of the 100th Imponderable (a feat which I, with my short attention span and chronic laziness, never thought I would reach), I present this week a double helping of only in the summer Imponderables.


This is a teen movie come to life. Think about it- you are all alone and a woman wants to swim, totally naked, in your pool while her husband is gone. Who is going to say no? Unless the woman is built like Roseanne Barr, no one would. So she swam around for 20 minutes, during which the man had about a million fantasies run through his head, and wham bam, long story short, no one should be surprised that his house was robbed. What could be a better distraction?

Try a small inflatable raft.


Jeez Louise! An inflatable rubber raft, in public, on multiple occasions. It has to be love. Edwin Tobergta, Raft F*cker and Rosie the Raft, sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G.

Or worse.

What is wrong with this nutjob?
The question is Imponderable.

A RAFT?????

Summer is the cruelest season. These crimes would never have happened in the freezing winter.

3 Responses to “Imponderable #100: The Swimming Pool”

  1. T E Stazyk July 12, 2013 at 1:00 am #

    Why did the couple doing the robbing go to the house of someone who knew them? Why didn’t the guy ask her what the hell she was doing? And yes, why, oh, why did he ask her to go to church?

    With respect to the raft man. Does the article say he “de-felated” the raft. A truly terrifying phrase.


    • Mac of BIOnighT July 12, 2013 at 9:00 am #

      I guess “invite a girl to go to church” is a euphemism that only the journalist didn’t get ;-P


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