Tag Archives: hot dog

Allan Keyes Is Angry About Commercial Stupidity

18 Nov

November 18, 2013

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One of my favorite pastimes is going outside and yelling at the clouds. I mean look at them – acting all sexy and seductive, the teases! It’s enough to make me want to take a knife and slash slash slash…..but anyway, my court-appointed therapist informed me that that sort of behavior will be frowned upon by the judge. So as a sort of substitute, I watch TV and yell about the commercials instead. Here’s one that really grinds my gears:

“A HOTDOG MAKES ME LOSE CONTROL”

At first, this one really REALLY irritated me. I mean look – it assumes that a fairly attractive (in a severe way) wife is dumb enough to believe that her husband is openly flirting with the donut girl right in front of her. And that’s an annoying proposition – I HATE HATE HATE commercials that are stupid to the point of insulting. But the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I mean look, I can’t count how many times I’ve been out with the wife getting lunch (we like to eat) and I take one look at the sandwich artist girl (or guy) making my turkey club and just blurt out “DAMN! I LIKES ME SOME ‘O DAT ASS!” right in front of her.

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I mean, yeah it takes about 20 minutes to convince her that I mean pASStrami but still, I can relate.

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There is one other thing I want to mention – get a look at that “sausage” – it’s a split hotdog. If you find that kind of crap tasty, you deserve to be cursed with a wife who’ll throw down over a donut girl.

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Mr. Blog Asks: Are they that cheap that they couldn’t afford a round patty? 

On a related note, this comes up on youtube as the “STUPIDEST COMMERCIAL EVER”

Hard to disagree really.

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A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO THE HOT DOG INDUSTRY

14 Nov

from March 1, 2008

A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO THE HOT DOG INDUSTRY
FROM THE EDITORIAL STAFF OF
MR. BLOG’S TEPID RIDE

We at Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (“Home of the Nearly OK Blog”) have always striven to give you, the consumer and avid reader, a high-quality and entertaining product.

Whether it is the musings of our foreign policy advisor “Mr. Know-It-All,” (Bruce E. Freedkin) or the helpful kitchen hints of Breakfast Betty, the editorial staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride has always been satisfied with the level of wholesome morality presented under our banner.

However, we feel that the recent posting by “Ace Rocker: DAMAGED SATELLITE” did not meet our rigorous journalistic standards. In fact, the latest blog concerning hot dog ingredients has generated a large volume of mail, all of it negative, and it reinforces our position that certain statements and inferences contained therein must be addressed.

Hot Dogs or Frankfurters are the lynchpin of the sausage/wiener industry and are strictly held to rigorous standards. While FDA regulations do allow a certain percentage of feces, inedible animal byproducts, and even harmful chemical or animal waste, we here at Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride do not hold the belief that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, we feel that a well-grilled hot dog on a nicely toasted bun, topped with mustard, relish, and sauerkraut, is perhaps the quintessential American lunch. If “Ace Rocker” in any way gave the impression that ingredients are any less than healthy and wholesome it was clearly a mistake and unintentional.

The Editors, staff, and writers of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride all join in apologizing herewith, and publicly, to the entire hot dog industry in general, and Hebrew National in particular. We all enjoyed the case of free hot dogs sent to our offices and the cooks from Nathan’s who arrived to cater lunch. In the interest of full disclosure we at Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride admit that we were in no way swayed or influenced by the delicious, scrumptious meal provided us this week, nor by the coupons for “buy one get one free” hot dogs at Gray’s Papaya.

In the future we hope that we can retain the public’s trust in out unbiased journalism.

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