Tag Archives: Godzilla

Late Night Movie House of Crap Double Monster Mayhem: Konga and Gorgo.

6 Apr

NEW April 6, 2011

King Kong and Godzilla. Gamera. Even Cloverfield. We love them all, yet what is the appeal of the giant monster movie?

Godzilla (1954) was a strange piece of Japanese social commentary. Created by the radiation from the atomic bombs dropped during World War II, Godzilla was a parable about the horrors of nuclear war. In subsequent films the monster became a symbol of Western imperialism, Japanese patriotism, and a defender of Mother Earth.

The giant ants of Them! (also 1954- obviously a banner year for giant mutations) were even more explicit anti-atom bomb metaphors, this time on the United States side of the Pacific. Both Godzilla and Them! were unabashed in their message.

The most famous monster was also the first, outside of some impressive stop-motion dinosaurs some years earlier. King Kong (1933) has been interpreted in various ways. Notably, certain critics see a clear racist message in it, though I think it is a far stretch. At any rate, whatever messages it may have contained were very much out the window by the time King Kong Escapes (1967) rolled around.

Even the silly, kid-friendly flying turtle known as Gamera (1965) began as a nuclear-spawned menace and, like Godzilla before him, turned into a protector of nature.

However, those are big issues. Mr. Blog is not here for those. The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride did not watch Terror of MechaGodzilla for social commentary.

So what is the appeal of the giant monster movie?

We watch them to see guys in rubber suits knocking over cardboard cities.

Late Night Movie House of Crap presents Konga and Gorgo.

Konga (1961) is about an ape named Konga (yes, an ape coincidentally and totally believably named Konga) who, due to a scientific experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong, grows to giant size and knocks over several cardboard buildings. The catch this time is that it is not Tokyo or New York getting crushed, it is London. And while the original Godzilla had Raymond Burr Konga has Michael Gough. Yep, that’s Alfred the butler playing the bad guy. Watch the trailer and make sure to spare some love for the horrible, horrible ape suit.

Oh those wacky Brits.

Not content to rip off King Kong, they went ahead and ripped off Godzilla.

Gorgo (also 1961- obviously another banner year for giant mutations)  is actually (slightly)  deeper than the average monster movie. Yes, it has a giant dinosaur from the sea like Godzilla, and yes, it has an annoying kid like Gamera, and yes, it tears up a city like every other rubber monster out there, but this has a twist: It is about parenthood.

Far be it from me to spoil a cheesy movie from fifty years ago, but what the heck? The monster is only a baby and the parents are looking to get him back. If this sounds a lot like Gappa the Triphibian Monster (1967, Japan) then yeah, I mix them up all the time too. It is a cross we must bear.

If you watched either of those trailers and looked for subtlety, for social commentary, then these films are not for you. If you like silly suits, paper-thin plots, bad acting, and not-so-special effects, then pull up a chair my friend.

TV Then vs. TV Now

31 Jan

January 31, 2011

I don’t care what anyone says- TV used to be better. To prove it, all I have to do is say is say two little words- Jersey Shore. There ‘Nuff said. Want more proof? Real Housewives.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking- “But Mr. Blog! TV had crap like My Mother the Car, Manimal, and Supertrain! Not to mention Roseanne Barr.”

That’s all true, but none of them had the ratings of a crapfest like America’s Top Model, despite there being many, many less channels to choose from. Back them you had the stations between 2 and 13 plus some hazy UHF channels. Now your cable box goes into the thousands.

I have no excuse for Roseanne Barr.

I do, however, have proof that television used to be better.
Facts in the form of old TV Guide ads.

Aside from one of the milestones of classic TV- Who Shot J.R.?, this ad features one of the classic over the top shows, The Dukes of Hazzard. Why did I pick this particular ad? Because the Duke boys are using bows and arrows! In a show already totally silly, the Duke boys were not only expert drivers but also expert marksmen- with dynamite tied to their arrows! Does TV get any better than exploding arrows?

But not everyone liked the drama of Dallas or the shenanigans of the Dukes. for them there was family fare.

By “the whole bunch” they meant “everyone but Jan,” who was recast, and “no Alice either.”

And who better to kick off their show but such cheesy TV stalwarts Donnie and Marie? Everyone’s favorite fussy non-homosexual (though everyone thought he was) Tony Randall was along for the fun! Does it get any better?

It just got better.

So far we’ve had variety, action, drama, and jiggly women in tight t-shirts. What about the kids? Think of the children!

OK, I will.

Look at that lineup! Spider-Man! The Fantastic Four! The Beatles! King Kong! Casper! Bullwinkle!
And, uh, something called Milton the Monster.

Kids shows weren’t limited to Saturday mornings either. Remember these specials?

I ask you, where can you find Pac-Man on TV today?

Lest you forget, here is the most infamous TV special of all:

What a cast! All of your Star Wars favorites: Harrison ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, James Earl Jones, the guy who played Chewbacca, Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, Art Carney, and Jefferson Starship. Because no one screams “Star Wars” like Bea Arthur and Jefferson Starship.

What else did TV air at night? TV movies!

Sally Struthers in Hey, I’m Alive! The jokes just write themselves, and it is a good thing because I can’t come up with one myself. But seriously, think about her career and make up your own.

And of course, the previously bloggged Wonder Woman!

There was Killdozer (great title!)

And there was Star Trek II:The Wrath of Khan. This is an example of a simply great ad in a style that you never see nowadays.

And speaking of great ads, check this one out.

Now that is one great ad. Tales of the Gold Monkey was an action/adventure show in the Indiana Jones mold. Seriously, look at that ad. Who wouldn’t watch that show? Turns out a lot of people wouldn’t watch that show. It was cancelled after one season. In the pilot, they went after the fabled Gold Monkey idol and it turned out to be made of lead, which I guess is a parallel to the show’s ratings. However, I was a fan and trust me, it was a good show.

And speaking of shows that feature monkeys:

And speaking of shows that feature other apes:

I may be one of the few people who remember this show. Spun off from Hill Street Blues, it featured Buntz and one of his snitches moving to Beverley Hills, which also happens to be Standard Sitcom Plot number 14 (Fish out of water: low-class guy in ritzy neighborhood.) And notice the sneaky way they stuck in an ad for Cheers.

I have to admit that I never heard of this show, but I was hooked by the description- “St. Louis struck out in the World Series.. now it’s struck by KING TUT’S CURSE!” That is the exact kind of silly plot that my friend Marc and I came up with all the time when we were teenagers. That could be OUR lousy cancelled TV show!

On the other hand, here we have the opposite- a good TV show with a lousy ad.

Were there no photos available? Who came up with this? Gary Coleman looks like he is lost in some sort of romantic reverie. And read that description- “… all of his friends and some of his enemies…” What enemies? All I remember was the Gootch, played by Andrew Dice Clay, looking about ten years too old to be a teenager.

Lastly, TV used to be the home of cheesy movies and horror hosts. Anyone who grew up in New York remembers this Thanksgiving tradition:

Who didn’t stay up late at night to watch some of these?

The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy is a poorly dubbed Mexican film from the 50’s and it is pretty much what you’d expect from the title, just a lot less fun. It shows up on cable from time to time and you really should check it out.

On the face of it this seems like a funny mistake- Movies of the ’50’s featuring Frankenstein 1970. but once you realize that Frankenstein 1970 was made in 1958 it makes sense.

Who would not have stayed home to watch that? Before you say “not me” remember, this was before TiVo and DVRs, before cable, before even VCRs were common. You bet your ass you’d stay home.

So there you have it. Indisputable proof that the television of yesterday was better than the television of today. Want more proof? Turn on BRAVO.