Here is an actual news story from some years back. I’ve bleeped out the important part, let’s see if you can guess what the doctors operated on!
———-
Bronx doctors give Afghan girl a bigger [BLEEP], for free
For eight long years – half her life – [name withheld] has been in near-constant pain.
The 16-year-old cannot open her [BLEEP] more than half an inch, making [BLEEP]ing a daily chore.
Yet her coy smile and girlish giggle give nothing away.
After [she] fell off a bridge in her native Afghanistan at age 8, part of her [BLEEP] broke and welded together as it healed.
Doctors were unable to correct the problem, leaving her with the debilitating condition and hoping for a miracle.
Thursday, that miracle happened as doctors in the Bronx performed surgery to reopen her [BLEEP], for free.
“I’m a little nervous,” said [the girl], shortly before her operation.
A team of doctors removed a 2-centimeter section of her [BLEEP] Thursday, inserting a piece of her rib and cartilage in its place, during the nine-hour operation.
Her recovery will involve extensive physical therapy.
“She would have remained this way or got even more frozen,”
Doctors were able to open her [BLEEP] to 41 millimeters – 40 to 45 millimeters is normal.
I’m contractually obligated to Mr. B for one page of stuff per week. This week, I couldn’t quite put all of the rage I feel into one coherent piece, so I’m taking the easy way out and going all stream of consciousness and stuff…..ok, I’m half-assing it really, but let’s all be honest here – my full-assed efforts probably aren’t much better!
This Commercial Annoys Me….
Let’s get this straight. The flying waitresses are incredulous about…… a phone app. NOT a talking, intelligent pig. About an app that is actually so common, everyone has at least one. Some commercials are so stupid as to insult the viewer. This is one such commercial. You can ask Mr. Blog, I often watch commercials so mind-numbingly stupid that I basically put a fatwah on everyone involved with it in any way.
Speaking of Annoying…. Nobody ruins a baseball game like FOX. ESPN is close, but FOX sets the bar lowest. And the main reason for that is loudmouth Tim McCarver. I’ve never listened to anyone as unknowledgeable about baseball as him, and that includes Joe Morgan and my 3 yr. old cousin. There’s a reason he was fired by BOTH the Mets and Yanks. I remember one inane thing he must’ve said about twenty times during the ’85 season – something he thought was the height of wit. “Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?” To which I always answered the television with “die.” I plan on outliving this clown for spite.
What I’m Watching….
They may not look like much, but these are REAL men. They gave up their lives and families and basically headed to Alaska to strike it rich mining for gold:
Of course, these guys are also kind of screw-ups in a lot of ways. They don’t know what they’re doing so it’s always one problem or another with them. That said, it’s fascinating to watch the process, the machinery, and just to see how much effort goes into finding even one ounce of precious, precious gold. And “Dakota Fred” – a crusty old miner who doesn’t take any guff – makes this show. Highly recommended!
Most Hardcore Father Ever….
MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!
It’s not quite what you think. Basically, poor Mr. Feng’s son was a layabout no-account lazy bum who wouldn’t tear himself away from his video games long enough to get a job. So he did what any loving father would do: hired better players to constantly find his son’s presence online and kill him straightaway on the premise that if he kept getting pwn3d like a noob, he’d quit and find a job and become productive member of the ruling party. Of course, the plan didn’t work out, but it was a worthy try. I’d have just smashed the computer myself, but Dif’rent Strokes (RIP Conrad Bain) and such.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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