Tag Archives: Col. Sanders

Sneak Peek of the Week of February 3rd, 2013

3 Feb

February 3, 2013

KFC-Colonel-SandersThe time: February 3rd, around dinner time
The place: Somewhere in the Deep South
The characters:
        1-  Old-fashioned Southern Colonel type. Think a cross between Col. Sanders and Foghorn Leghorn with some Col. Tom Parker thrown in
        2- Another old-fashioned Southern colonel type. Exactly the same as the first one.

Col. #1: Well I do say so, Rhett my boy, I show-do say so.
Col. #2: What is that you show-do say, I say, Wilkes, I say, what is it that you say?
Col. #1: Well Rhett, I say, I really do say my boy, I say that this here Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride sure is a peach of a belle, so to speak, if indeed a website named for a man can be compared to a woman, sir, I say, that I do.
Col. #2: I do declare that I do recall one day that Southern boy was fooling around with his guitar- he plays the guitar, you know, and he just up and came out with the darndest thing.
Col.#1: Which Southern boy would that be? It seems to me that indeed there is no shortage of Southern boys here in the Deep South, Land of Cotton, Home of Civility, Bosom of the Confederacy, and so forth and so on I say I say I say.
Col. #2: Lord a Mighty, man, for sure it can only be the one that I caught in the back forty with my little Lulubelle!
Col. #1: Well I’ll be a goll-darned Northern Yankee!

And on and on. It goes on like that for four pages, believe it or not. To make it up to you, I’ll be concise with this week’s Sneak Peek. You’ll get disappointing movies, disappointing, pooping criminals, and a poop-related iPod.

And if I can at all do so, I plan to work the phrase “Great shades of Satan!” into every post this week. Think I can do it?

Imponderable #25: West Sussex England (w/ John Travolta)

11 Nov

November 11, 2011

I’ve never had a lot of respect for John Travolta, either as an actor or a person.

As an actor, I think he is a step above microbes but without the range of fungus. Now before you start yelling “Saturday Night Fever!” I grant you, that is a great film. And I further grant you that he is prefect in it. But he is more or less playing a moron. Not a big stretch. Want more evidence of his lack of acting ability? Battlefield Earth. ‘Nuff said.

As a person I have nothing against him, and I am not going to bring up his son’s tragedy out of respect, though I think he made many wildly wrong decisions regarding his son. However, it does bring up another strike against him, Scientology. You may recall that Scientology is a religion that was totally made up by a bad science fiction writer. But if you have seen Travolta on talk shows you know he isn’t the brightest star in the sky so the Scientology thing doesn’t come as a shock..

And that brings up another point. Why is he still a star? His career is based on a pair of films (Grease and Saturday Night Fever) that he made 40 years ago. Yes, he has Pulp Fiction in his résumé but thank Quentin Tarrantino for that film’s success. By the way, type “John Travolta” into imdb.com and it says “best known for Pulp fiction (1994).” That was 17 years ago!

And now this:

Oh how the paunchy have fallen.

Whoever the employee was that told Barbarino to get in line with everyone else had it right. Big deal, John Travolta gets to cut in line because he’s from Hollywood? Screw that; wait for your extra-crispy like the rest of the world.

But this kind of underscores my point. Would Anthony Hopkins have been turned down?

More to the point, would Anthony Hopkins have tried to reserve a table at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Nobu it ain’t.

How out of touch is Travolta? Did he really think that KFC has a celebrity section? This is the typical Hollywood crap that Scientology reinforces. He’s special. Of course any old fast food place would have a VIP section. And of course he would never wait in line. He’s the guy in drag from Hairspray!

How out of touch is this guy?

What is wrong with the world where washed up actors think they can reserve a table at KFC of all places? And worse, what is wrong with the world that people let them get away with nonsense like that?

Why do people treat actors like they are more important or better than the rest of us?

The question is Imponderable.

And that KFC spokesman at the end of the article is a toad.