Tag Archives: Batman

Writer’s Block #7: A Special Routine

6 Nov

November 6, 2013

Well, here I am again. Me vs. the page. Me vs. the blank screen. Me vs. writer’s block. Have I wasted enough time? Yep, once again I need to turn to our nation’s colleges and universities (I must be desperate) and look to the list of bizarre college essays for inspiration.

I didn’t find any, but here we go: Please describe a daily routine or tradition of yours that may seem ordinary to others but holds special meaning for you. Why is this practice significant to you? (Barnard, 2009)

Well, I don’t; really like to talk about this, but I guess maybe it will help me to unburden myself. Maybe it will help me to sleep at night.

One night, years ago, when I was young, my family was leaving the movie theater, capping off a great evening in which we had dinner at a fancy restaurant and saw the opening night of the Mark of Zorro. The city wasn’t as crime ridden as it is now, but even then there were some places you avoided.

It wasn’t too late, the alley not too dark, and our car was parked just across the street. We were happy and probably not paying too much attention or maybe we would never have gone down that alley, seen that man.

He stopped us.
Had a gun.
Demanded mom’s jewelry.
Dad took a step towards him.
The gun blazed.
Twice.
And I was an orphan.

I swore on their graves that their deaths would not go unavenged.  And every day I pass that alley and leave flowers amongst the cans of garbage and broken bottles and detritus of urban life.

What? Shit, sorry, that’s Batman’s story. I thought it sounded familiar. But seriously, that is a much better story than mine. You don’t want to hear it, it wouldn’t interest you.

What? Really, you do? It probably isn’t half as interesting as you think.

Ok, you asked for it. My special routine?

Every morning I get up early and read a book on the can. That’s it. It’s quiet and no one bothers me.

Hey, I’m no Batman.

 

batmanToilet_nlewis039

 

In Which I Just Exploit What Others Have Done and Call It a Day

7 Oct

October 7, 2013

This post is literally a double header.

keyes

fat spotlight

You all know all the fun we’ve had with Norman Smackmunch over the years – all the epic pictures I’ve created. Well I’ve been trolling the internet and wanted to give OTHER people credit as well, since they’ve obviously had as much fun as me with our resident cheeseburger eater.

So I’m going old school here and presenting the best results for the google search “Fat Guy Eating Cheeseburger” (and in the process, maybe you’ll learn to properly appreciate how amazingly I’ve been able to work with this picture!)

 – DA KILLAH!
d1           

This one is awesome. You can’t see it here, but the medallion and the sparkles are animated. BRAVO sir, BRAVO!

 – OUR FAVORITE MEMES COLLIDE! d2

Yeah, eff you Scumbag Steve!

 -THE INNER BEAUTY OF SNACKMUNCH

 d3

The artiste is like a raw Picasso….I cannot look away. The use of texture and colors is amazing. When I see stuff like this I wish I could draw more than just stick figures stabbing each other in the groin.

 -INSPIRATIONAL  MESSENGER d4

 -THE CHEESEBURGER’S REVENGE!!! d5

 I DID THIS ONE BUT LIKED IT SO MUCH I JUST WANTED TO INCLUDE IT ON THE BLOG AGAIN d6

 And just for fun, here’s another Cosplay FAIL:

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