Tag Archives: basketball

Imponderable #86: Phoenix Arizona

22 Mar

March 22, 2013

I am a sports fan. (Except for basketball. Other than the pick and roll I have no patience for a game that goes an hour, the teams score over a hundred points, and a game is typically won by les than ten points. Seems to me this could have been decided in ten minutes. Even hard-core fans tell you that the first half, if not first three quarters, are a waste of time.)

Baseball is my game, followed by hockey. Living in New York, I can tell you that there is no better sports experience than seeing the Rangers at Madison Square Garden. Even if the Hockey Ron-jays (any Steve Sommers fans out there?) getting blown out there is no better place to watch a game. Soon the Islanders are moving to my neck of the woods (Brooklyn) but I’m still going to be loyal to the Broadway Blues.

A lot better than being a Phoenix Coyotes fan.

phoenix

I wish more businesses operated that way. Mayor/Mommy/Asshat Bloomberg wants to ban big sodas? Why bother? Just make it more profitable for the big soda companies to not sell soda. Assault weapon ban? Why? Just pay the gun companies to not sell guns. Think of all the money they’d save when they could close all those factories.

I have been not selling guns for years. Time for me to make some money at it. Come to think of it, I have also not been putting a hockey team on the ice either. Why should Phoenix get all the cash? Pay me for not putting on a hockey game.

This is America. Most people get paid by the government for not working anyway. Why should the Coyotes be any different?

The question is Imponderable.

Phoenix%20Coyotes

Late Night Movie House of Crap: March Madness Edition

4 Mar

March 4, 2011

Sorry NCAA fans, this is not a basketball blog. Not to stir up a hornet’s nest (but if it gives me more traffic, what the heck?) but Mr. BTR is not a basketball fan. Any sport where a typical game ends with the score 105 -101 is just too long. End it after 20 minutes and let everyone get dinner at a normal hour. And college sports are worse. There are people who are rabid college sports fans and I get it if it comes out of school pride. I don’t get it when people who didn’t even go to college, who barely got out of high school, root for college sports. Especially colleges that are halfway across the country in  a state they can barely spell, let alone locate on a map. (“It’s right next to that East Georgia, huh?”) What is the appeal? It isn’t like they are as good as the pros. But what is even worse than college basketball? The WNBA. Yes dammit, I know I’ll get mail. Go ahead- I dare you to post nasty comments and drive up site traffic and my search engine ranking! I double dare you!

Anyway, this blog is going to spotlight some of the weirder stuff I found online. Weirder than the Russ Meyer stuff from last month? Maybe, but not as sexy so cool down.

Let’s start with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 you may never have seen.

OK, there is an off-chance you might have seen one or both of those. After all, they are on American channels (even if one of them is E!), but this next one comes from the former (and soon-to-be, you just mark my words!) Soviet Union. From Russia, here is their MST3K rip- off.

After seeing that I just can’t resist this classic clip from The Simpsons.

And now for something completely different.

It’s

Mike Rowe!

I know, I know, I set you up for a Monty Python clip, but if you are already angry at me for the basketball rant I started off with then it’s too late to make friends now. Mike Rowe is the guy who narrates Deadliest Catch and about a million other shows. He also stars in Dirty Jobs where he does, well, dirty jobs, duh. Ever wanted to see a guy harvest worms? Clean out a sceptic tank? Stick his arm up a pregnant cow’s rear end? That’s the show for you. Not me, maybe you. Anyway, long before he became a smelly TV star, he worked as late night shill on QVC. Watch this clip and see just how miserable a man can be.

I’ll end this month’s edition with a clip that is just plain strange when taken out of context, and not much better when taken in context. From Bewitched, here is everyone’s favorite center square, Paul Lynde.

See you next month where, just maybe, we may actually possibly see Konga and Gorgo. I have the clips all picked out. And trust me, looking through Konga clips is a thankless task.

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