Tag Archives: American Chopper

The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Thirteen

13 May

May 13, 2012

This is it. One more will be fired when the show opens and the remaining two will fight it out.

Clay. Aubrey. Arsenio.

The show starts right were it ended last week. Trump is grilling the final three and is getting ready to fire one of them. It looks like Arsenio might go (he’s getting a lot of heat for his outburst and language) but by now I give up trying to predict this.

OMG! Aubrey was fired!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we go!

CLAY AIKEN VS. ARSENIO HALL!

Trump: “Here you are, the final two.”
Clay: “I’m having a little deja vu.” LOL!

Score one for the good guys!

The next thing, aside from the task, is to see which contestants come back. I have three spoilers.

Spoiler #1: Lou Ferrigno is not coming back. That was confirmed by
Spoiler #2: Dee Snyder is coming back. He was on a radio show here in NYC where he said he’d be back. “They bring back the good contestants, that’s why Lou Ferrigno won’t be there.”
Spoiler #3: Not that big a spoiler, I took this from the commercial for the show. (BTW, don’t try to play it, it is only a screen cap.)

Yeah, you can bet that’ll get some play on the American Chopper Weekly Rundown tomorrow night.

And so will this:

You really need to be here tomorrow night.

But back to the show!

THE TASK: Produce, host, star in, and sell tickets to a celebrity charity event.
THE NEW TEAMS:
CLAY: Penn, Debbie, Dee, Aubrey
ARSENIO: Adam, Lisa, Paul Sr., Teresa

Aubrey was picked last. “Haters are hating once again,” she convinced herself.

Clay got the three singers, not a bad deal for a task centered around entertainment.

Arsenio is doing and 80’s theme, as in we left all this old 80’s stuff behind, what about HIV? Not a bad idea, but what about the entertainment? Clay seems to have that cornered.

On the other hand he has to work with Penn. Clay chose him to show that he could work with anyone, even someone he fought with. Not a bad idea, but Penn is being Mr. Contrary again.

So who did not come back? Lou Ferrigno, George Takei, Cheryl Tiegs, Dayana Mendoza, Tia Carrere, Patricia Velasquez, Michael Andretti, and Victoria Gotti, thank goodness. And do you miss any of them?

On the other hand, Aubrey is being Aubrey. You know what I mean. she has these ideas that for some reason no one tells her they suck. They just go along with her.

Meanwhile, as Team Arsenio was shooting their 80’s video, Team Clay was having trouble finding a spot to shoot their video. They needed a place with a lot of grass for kids to play. Hmmm, New York City, lots of grass… Central Park anyone? Seems so obvious to me. However, they found a patch of grass in a housing project and shot the video.

On Arsenio’s side, they plan to put Magic Johnson in the video but they are having trouble getting it set up.

Meanwhile, Aubrey’s jealousy of Debbie boils back up. Say what you will about Debbie’s career, we all know Aubrey will never reach Debbie’s level. That may be sad but it is true. Meanwhile, it was Debbie’s turn to argue with Clay. Clay, as he said had to make the decisions. After all, he is the only one on the chopping block. Debbie has a big role this week. She got her cousin to do a mural for Clay and all Clay wants is to see a sketch. Debbie is asking for him to trust her. OK, but this is the finale! Debbie can’t get fired in the boardroom, he HAS TO have the final decision.

On the strange side, Lisa called Clay to tell him she’d be making a contribution to his charity. Why? To be nice? Maybe, but she is on the other side. What if Clay raises a hair more than Arsenio? It would be her money that put him over!

And when the Magic Johnson video finally arrives, it is lousy.

TO BE CONCLUDED NEXT WEEK!

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Malaysian Adventure

7 May

May 7, 2012

Tonight we get to see Senior in a dress.

MALAYSIAN ADVENTURE
Senior, Jason, Jim and Steve travel to Malaysia, where they not only unveil their latest bike, but also encounter wildlife, swim under waterfalls and barter at the central market.

Forgive my lack of enthusiasm but the show began with future OCC boss Jason Pohl taking us through the process of making the bike. Because he had so much to do with the fabrication and he knows all about how to build a bike, every step of the process. That’s it, right? Right?

So while we eagerly await seeing the OCC crew swim in a lake and look at trees, Mikey went to Paulie to tell him that he wants to quit the show. He’s doing it because he thinks it will help his relationship with his father. Will it? Doubtful. then Paulie reports to his wife, as usual.

So what happens in Malaysia?
The OCC crew ride a bus and look out the window!
Senior says he needs a nap!
They walk through the lobby of a hotel!
Commercial break! WOW, this looks great! Seriously, had this show not jumped the shark a dozen times over this would be it.

Jason: “Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys near the car! Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys!” That is an exact quote.

They ride scooters! On the other side of the road!
They handle tame snakes!

And I am not making a joke, this is real, at about 9:15 there is a kid in a clown suit who looks just like Obama. Seriously, I’m not getting political, the kid looked just like him.

They hike up a mountain!
They look at a waterfall! Why am I still watching this?
They take off their shirts and swim!
They look at fish. (Jason: “Look at these fish!”)
Jim bites off Jason’s sleeves! (You had to see it.)
They ride a boat!
Jason makes up a song: “There’s a monkey in the boat, a monkey in the boat, a monkey in the boat, hi ho a monkey in the boat.” Then a monkey took a dump on Jason’s seat and Jason threw the feces back at the monkey. NOTE TO READERS: INSERT YOUR OWN JOKE HERE.
They pet stingrays! Big deal. I did that at the Coney Island Aquarium when I was four. (Jason: “Let’s set them free!” Senior: “Stop being stupid.”)
They put a horse shoe crab on Jim’s head!
They ride on more boats!
They ride a cable car! Is this over yet?
Jason misspelled his own name! “JASN.” Are you nothing a pattern here? Senior: “I don’t know if he’s suffering from lack of oxygen ’cause most o  the time he hasn’t made any sense.”
They shop at a local market!

And oh yeah, they unveil the bike.

THE HIGHLIGHT! Senior puts on a dress, a nice black and purple floral number. ANYONE HAVE A SCREEN CAP? SEND IT TO ME!

NEXT WEEK:
CHANGE OF HEART May 14, 2012
PJD starts a build for Skill Tools while OCC begins a bike based on an Italian sports car. Then Junior makes a huge decision that could finally end his estrangement from Senior once and for all.