Feel like watching a crudely animated and simplistic movie? Well, check this bad boy out:
Sure, it looks like the kind of stop motion movie that I could make, if I could ever improve my artistic skills to the level of a drunken adolescent gorilla. But look again – this is stop motion based on moving around FRICKING ATOMS.
ATOMS.
ATOMS!
How freaking awesome is this??! This really is getting to level of playing god now. You see this thing happening, how long from that………to this:
Ooops, I didn’t mean that…..well, maybe a little. Jason Statham is only a little below Vin Diesel on the dreamy scale! Anyway, really I meant this:
Seeing stories like this, or about things like Virgin Galactic really piss me off, because I know that we’re on the cusp of a whole host of game changing things that I can see coming, and unless they invent a cybernetic colon I doubt I’ll really be around to fully see and enjoy it. All those that will get to live with these wonders will be my kids and grandkids, and really – eff them, the little rotters. They never call and they can’t stay off my lawn.
Think about it – who among us remembers how things were before the internet? I imagine that’s how things will be once this atom moving process gets fully realized, because doubtless there’s lots of ways this can go that aren’t being considered yet, such as these:
or this!
or this!
or this!
I like that last one the best. Goatees = HARDCORE.
As the pre-eminent internets recapper in my apartment, I’d be remiss if I didn’t make a post on the latest THING. The FAIL newsreader, AJ Clemente:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (In fact, that was my first draft of this post, just the word HA repeated 800 times)
It’s brilliant, especially at the 14 second mark where he realizes that he’s not only on the air, but will be off the air shortly. There’s very little I can comment on this except to note that while he is a dummy and a dullard – did you hear the awful monotone he read the news in? It’s like having Droopy Dawg anchoring – he’s also a pretty cool guy about it all. His twitter post after the debacle said it all “That couldn’t have gone any worse.” I mean good for him. He’ll need that good sense of humor while the world laughs at him, at least until Lindsay Lohan’s next meltdown.
So let’s move on from an accident to an absolute EPIC FAIL creative decision by Mountain Dew, in what has been quite accurately described as the most racist commercial ever:
I’m sorry, but even the hardest-core Klansman would see how wrong this is. Battered women! Corrupt cops! Stereotype thugs! A talking…..goat? Erm – ok whatever. This one is a veritable carnival of awfulness that would even make Don Rickles speechless. On the other hand, I’m inclined to forgive them, since a soda as truly awful as Goat Piss Mountain Dew and the people who drink it deserve a truly awful commercial. If you drink Mountain Dew I’m NOT apologizing – some things just need to be said. And it’s not like racist commercials haven’t made it through the cracks before – remember this one that we wrote about:
And McDonalds still hasn’t recovered from THIS disaster of an ad campaign:
(see what I did there?)
But here’s the thing – a genuine dope like AJ Clemente gets fired, fired oh sooooo fired, all for the crime of making a mistake. What are the chances that the brain trust (yeah that phrase is hack, sue me) behind that commercial who willingly and knowingly signed off on that steaming pile of fecalus at MULTIPLE points get no repercussions whatsoever? Your career can end 5 seconds after it starts for something petty and spontaneous and stupid, but a truly massive eff up, nothing. Great times we live in. If North Dakota can’t take a few unintended curses, too effing bad. It’s the same thing as everyone yelling about David “Big Papi” Ortiz saying “fuck” in front of kids last week. YOU KNOW WHAT OUR WALL TO WALL NEWS WAS A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO? A DEAD 8-YR OLD AND PEOPLE WHO HAD THEIR LEGS BLOWN OFF BY A COUPLE OF CRETINS, THAT’S WHAT. I THINK THE KIDS AND THE GOOD PEOPLE OF BISMARK CAN HANDLE A CUSS OR TWO.
The idiocy is strong in this nation – except for Mr. BTR of course.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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