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The Cast of Dancing with the Stars 2012

8 Mar

March 8, 2012

Here we go, yet another celebrity show that is lacking in star power. This season is a bit higher on the “what ever happened to?” and “who?” factors than usual. Seriously, is Urkel still a star? And a Mexican soap actor? Not to disparage anyone, but where are the big names?

Melissa Gilbert 

We all know her as little Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie but my, she has grown. What you may not know is that she was president of the Screen Actors Guild from 2001 to 2005, beating out Rhoda and the guy from Adam-12 who didn’t drive the car. Seriously. She beat Valerie Harper and Kent McCord. I think she should do just fine in the contest as long as Nellie Olson isn’t competing against her.

Donald Driver 

Football players trend to do really well on this show. I suspect that hockey players wouldn’t. (They are all goons.) I hope he wins the Mirror Ball Trophy because he looks like a man hungry for more awards. Literally. It looks like eats trophies.
4× Pro Bowl selection (2002, 2006, 2007, 2011)
1× All-Pro selection (2006)
Super Bowl champion (XLV)
Green Bay Packers MVP (2002)
Packers “Walter Payton Man of the Year” (2002)
Ed Block Courage Award (2005)
Green Bay Packers Receiving Yards All-Time Leader
Green Bay Packers Receptions All-Time Leader

William Levy
A Telenova star apparently known as the “Brad Pitt of Mexico.” There were a lot of nearly unprintable pictures of this guy online that made me wonder if he was more like the Jane Lynch of Mexico.

Sherri Shepherd 

We all know she’s on The View but nevermind that, I know her from 30 Rock where she plays Tracy Jordan’s wife.

And I warn you not to click on this next link.

You clicked, didn’t you?

Katherine Jenkins
An opera singer. Odds are that 90% of the audience will not know her and neither will you. Moving on.

Gavin DeGraw
I know that country music fans are passionate, and he may be very popular, but a big name? He hasn’t even been nominated for an award bigger than a Billboard award, and that was seven years ago. Could this be his big push to stardom? Probably not.

Martina Navratilova 

We all know who she is so there is no point in rehashing her career. She is probably the second biggest name here, depending on how you feel about Gladys Knight. Without a doubt she is a bigger name than the kid from the Disney Channel coming up a bit further down the list.

Jack Wagner
He’s a soap opera actor, best known for his roles on the soap operas General Hospital, Santa Barbara, The Bold and the Beautiful, and Melrose Place. He also recorded a few albums. That’s it. The guy is a blank page to me.

Roshon FeganKid on the Disney Channel. What else do you need to know? This is who Disney told ABC to push this season.

Maria Menounos

She lost bet. We won.

The reporter from Extra. I do not watch that show yet somehow I know that she is the reporter from Extra. She must have a great public relations team. And all the bikini shots of her on the net don’t hurt either. For no particular reason I am hoping she wins. Ok, there are a couple of reasons.

Jaleel White 

Do I really need to say anything? This is like shooting fish a barrel

Gladys Knight

 

It is my sad duty to report that the Pips will not be appearing with her. Too bad. It looks they’ve got some moves.

The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Three

4 Mar

March 4, 2012

Victoria Gotti got whacked last week and I am glad. I could not stand her. That makes two wins in a row for the men, but they inured Dee Snider’s finger and it looks like this week it may turn into a serious injury. This week’s challenge has to do with Ivanka’s fashion line and it may be that the women can get a win this week.

THE TASK: Design a living window display for Ivanka Trump’s fashion line
MEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: George Takei (As Adam Carolla repeatedly said, “because he is gay.”)
WOMEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: Dayana Mendoza

Each team had two windows to design. Aubrey took off with a design on the women’s side and sort of took over. George for the men seemed to be just a drop lost and right away Clay started losing faith. Adam seemed at the start to be pushing him a little because George didn’t have much drive. Dee had to leave early for a doctor’s appointment to check the finger he hurt on the last task. Does that make him weak? A target? It is all about the game.

Each team split in two, one group to get supplies and one to work on the display. For the men, Adam took over but for some reason he didn’t call George to check on anything. Aubrey was running the women’s site and not making any friends. It was probably a mistake not staying on site.

Trump’s assistant Amanda got some lines this week. She also works for Ivanka on the clothing line.

“That ladies think they have a theme but I have no idea what it is yet.” – Don Junior. give them credit for one thing, though. When they needed help, they called Ivanka direct. It later came back to hurt the men that they did not.

The gay issue was front and center on the men’s team. Adam first picked Clay, then endorsed George, because they were gay. But later on Arsenio spotted that as a negative. As he said, if the gay teammates only looked at how men dress, they should step back and let Arsenio, who notices women, take over. (If you have an issue with that, feel free to comment but remember that it was Arsenio and Adam, not me.) Adam continued his (correct, in my book) criticism of George and if they lose, it is obvious he will be the main target. George didn’t even go over to the display to check it out. His group did their thing and he called it a day.

At the doctor, Dee learns that he needs surgery. And he needs it fast or the bone will naturally set in a very bad way. It appeared, and it could be simply due to the editing, that he had it right then and there. He returned later that day with his arm and hand in a full cast.

For the men’s team, and I got a laugh out of this, there was a snag with the pieces fabricated by Paul Senior’s “people.” They were designed incorrectly. I have no idea if he sent it out to OCC or a contractor, that is how Adam described them, his “people.” (Later on George told Ivanka it was OCC and Paul confirmed it in the boardroom.) So yes, Paul Teutul’s design was wrong. I hope Jason had a hand in it. Anyway, it was funny seeing Adam Carolla and Lou Ferrigno show Paul Sr. how to fabricate a sign.

Funny line: Paul Sr. to Lou Ferringo: “Why you gotta be so big?”

It isn’t smooth sailing for the women either; their pictures are not ready. So Aubrey just jumped in and took charge. If they lose, it is Aubrey and Dayana in the boardroom.

“George didn’t make himself useful in any way.” -Clay, describing how everyone else pitched in to help get the models ready.
“George gave away so much authority that he had no purpose anymore.” -Clay.

The unveiling came and the men’s windows? BORING. The displays were bare and there was nothing going on in them. Clay and some models were in a very bare office setting. George, presenting to Ivanka, could barely speak, mixing up Clay and Arsenio, stuttering, and generally being unable to explain anything. Arsenio was in the other window, a boring bare red carpet with Arsenio and some models. Visually there was zero to hold your attention. Not a single member of the men’s team looked happy. They knew they had a dog.

The women’s windows looked more interesting. The models were doing things, the design of the set was interesting, and while it wasn’t impressive either, it was light years ahead of the men, at least in my opinion.

If the women lose, who will Dayana bring back? She couldn’t say. Who would Aubrey bring back? She tried to pass, but when pressed, she said she’d want Lisa and Patricia on her team. Patricia had great words for Lisa too.

It wasn’t the same on the men’s team. As they went to commercial at 10:25, Clay’s words about George were brought up. Clay defended them and even Arsenio, in defending George, was kid of lukewarm. It was clear Arsenio was hedging his words. He said, in effect that if he did a bad job, it was on George for not supervising him.

THE WINNER: The Women. Given that the woman’s team were, as it was put a few times, the exact demographic the line was designed for, and it contained professional models and actresses, this was no surprise.

Arsenio got knocked for the clothing, Lou and Adam got knocked for the fabrication, and George took hits for not being closely involved. Lou said he would fire Arsenio, Paul, who got nothing but praise for his sign, said he would fire George for not supervising and lack of communication. (I hope the American Chopper viewers appreciate that.) Clay of course blamed George: “He was not always present in what happened.” Penn, after explaining that he had little to add to the task, didn’t pick anyone to go, and Dee was given a pass. Arsenio, who would you fire? If it came down to the clothes, it should be him. Bad move. Who would Adam fire? George, because everyone did good so it rests on the project manager’s shoulders. Penn reluctantly agreed.

GOING TO THE BOARDROOM: George, Arsenio, and surprisingly, Lou, who George claimed misunderstood directions. I have to wonder, what directions?

George said that another team member asked Lou to step back, and it had to be Adam, who felt that Lou was horning in on his job. Lou once again defended himself very well. I really want to see him as the p.m. soon. As the boardroom went on, it sounded more and more like even George expected to be fired. He was making his goodbyes before the decision was made.

YOU’RE FIRED: George Takei

NEXT WEEK: A Buick presentation, and the commercial promises two firings.