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Allan Keyes: Fail Counterfeits!

29 Apr

April 29, 2013

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I was just wandering around the web the other day, and I was looking at old Mad Magazine archives – you know, back when Mad was actually funny and a legit part of the counter culture, as opposed to what it is now, a straight establishment hack factory that deserves to be put out of its’ misery. Dave Berg (“The Lighter Side”) and Mort Drucker were giants without compare.  Remember 43 Man Squamish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/43-Man_Squamish  and Three Cornered Pitney? Yeah. Good times. Once Melvin and Jenkins debuted it was all downhill – but that’s a rant for another day. And believe me, rant I will. Anyway, while checking this stuff out, I came across this from the old Mad board game (which I used to have and am bidding on furiously on Ebay for a set now):

                         d1

Well, one thing led to another and I found myself looking at some sad examples of funny money. Laugh along with me at some of these sad counterfeits!

THE LAZY:

 d2

This one is just lazy. I mean common, did anyone REALLY expect this piece of idiocy to actually pass???  I’d actually give more respect to someone who just Xeroxed a dollar bill and tried to pass it to a colorblind guy. Heck, I’d actually respect this one better, at least they tried.

 d3

 

THE ODD:

 d4

These were actually passed at some Target stores in the Midwest. That the cashiers either didn’t know or care better, makes me weep.  I personally think they believed the bills were legit. But common! I mean NINE Dollars? What a fricking idiot number.  Hey, if you’re going to plaster this guy on a bill, I’d think this one was better:

 d5

But that’s just me. For those of you with a different worldview, here’s an equally stupid one with another President:

 d6

Not sure why $200 dollars, but hey, there you go.

Actually, given the direction of things nowadays, this one is most appropriate:

 d7

 

NOT COUNTERFEIT BUT AWESOME:

 d8

I think KISS actually sucks donkey dong (But Mr. Keyes, why don’t you tell us what you really think!) but I applaud the creativity for this one.

This one made me LOL:

 d9

I actually altered a bill to base off some the characters from Call of Duty, but that attracted “attention” from the ATF.

 And to finish things off, here’s my attempt, as bad as you’d expect:

 rrr

Obviously acceptable in all the finest burger joints across the land.

 

The Saturday Comics: Flush Man

27 Apr

April 27, 2013

sat com logo

Flush Man!

Is he a super-plumber? A man with the proportionate strength and speed of a toilet? Some sort of alien-toilet hybrid? No my friends, no, he is none of those things. He is …

The Flash!

It seems that down in South America The Flash is known as Flush Man. Really! He is!

I don’t know how that translates, and I don’t care. I could google it but why ruin the funny? FLUSH MAN!

The only problem is, they have it wrong. THIS is FLUSH MAN:

Dan Dan the City Wide Man

Dan Dan the City Wide Man

I’m… FLUSH MAN!

Really, I can’t enough. So in that spirit, I present to you the Dan Dan the City Wide Man commercial that aired all over the place on Long Island a few years ago. Seriously (I mean this, seriously) the jingle was so catchy I’d catch myself singing it all the time.

He’s smart!
He’s neat!
He’s fast!
He’s economical!

The only problem is, if you go to the website today, there are a bunch of other City Wide Dudes, but no Dan. I think the JLA kicked him out.