Archive | photography RSS feed for this section

Flash Gordon: The Lost Adventure

2 Jul

July 2, 20113

01_raymond_flashgordon_heritagecover_1972

CHAPTER FOUR

The Story So Far:

Marooned on the planet Mongo, heroic human Flash Gordon has become the leader of the freedom-loving resistance forces. Along with the brilliant Professor Zarkov and the lovely Dale Arden, Flash has united the warring peoples of Mongo and forced evil despot Ming the Merciless into retreat.

Meanwhile, Prince Barin has brought Flash some troubling news…

———————-

“Barin!” Flash exclaimed. “Do you know what this says?”

Prince Barin shuffled his feet uncomfortably. “Why yes Flash. It says that Ming is reassembling his forces. I fear his threat may not yet have been vanquished.”

Flash looked to his trusted friend. “Barin, have your people been able to find any trace, any clue of his whereabouts? “ Flash leaned eagerly across the council table. Barin consulted with an aide.

“It seems that some of Prince Vultan’s hawk-men have heard rumors that Ming has established a new palace in the northern section of Arboria.”

“Arboria!” Flash leapt to his feet. “I have to go and see for myself!”

“But Flash, you’d have to cross mighty swamps filled with savage lizard-men!” Barin put a hand of caution on his friend’s shoulder. “And Ming may still be protected by the ferocious lion-folk.”

“I’ll have to take that chance. If Ming is allowed to establish a new palace, who knows what evil he may unleash on Mongo!”

“Then go my ally, go with my prayers.”

———————-

Word of Flash’s mission to Ming’s Palace spread throughout the Court of Mongo. Dale Arden rushed to Flash’s side, but she could not persuade him to stay. Doctor Zarkov tried to reason with Flash, but the blonde hero would not be swayed.

“I must go. Another Palace of Ming would signal the end of freedom on Mongo. The alliance is still new and fragile; Ming could break it all to pieces. I must find Ming’s Palace!”

———————-

Within hours Flash had left the safety of the Capital City and was cautiously making his way towards Ming’s Palace. In the swamps of the lizard-men he proceeded slowly, and only during the day, for the lizard-men prowled at night. During the night, Flash sought safety in the high trees, but he was often challenged and forced to destroy the snake-like creatures that dwelled there.

Days later, Flash emerged from the swamps and under cover of darkness avoided the lion-men patrols and entered Northern Arboria. Darkening his hair, Flash donned a disguise and blended in with the local population, listening for clues to the location of Ming’s Palace. After days of listening at doorways and peering through windows, Flash Gordon finally discovered the location of his goal: Ming’s Palace.

Wasting no time, Flash rushed there and, in awe, stood before his destination.

                       mings place

Clearly, someone had screwed up.

Flash had the beef and broccoli combination plate with wonton soup before hoping a cab back to Prince Barin’s kingdom.

 

Hello Happy To Read Consumer! Freshly Written Part Second!

26 Jun

June 26, 2013

This blog is for Mac, who sent in the first two pictures. He is a huge fan of bad translations, as am I. Check out my first bad translation blog here. You should also check out Mac, an awesome musician, great photographer, and all-around terrific guy right here at his Facebook page.

Here’s his first picture, from a package of food I urge you not to eat:

hormones-fat-spit

I love the fact that they are so upfront about the spit. I am sure that a great many people base their dining options on the spit count.

Up next, Mac has sent in a travel advisory.

ENGRISH TRANSLATE ERROR

I don’t know what that is but it looks like a train station to me. Of course, for all I know that could be a sushi bar or an anime factory. Either way, I am glad that the sign was there to clear things up.

This next sign comes to us from this very blog! (Yes! Someone reads this!)

inconvenient tanks

They know something that I don’t. “Important reason?” “Tanks”? Something bad is brewing, but it is a comfort to know that the owners will be close in case we need them.

And is there anything more inconvenient than a tank?

And lastly, one more that I took myself but, unlike the one above, it has never been published here before. Behold! The debut of the Chinese menu fail!

buns

That just sounds wrong. So very, very wrong.