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Late Night Movie House of Crap: Pia Zadora in Rock Aliens

15 Nov

November 15, 2012

Pia Zadora. Of her career I can only say this: She had one.

1999 Frasier (TV series) Jill (voice)
1995 Favorite Deadly Sins (TV movie) Pia Zadora
1994 Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult Pia Zadora
1990 Mother Goose Rock ‘n’ Rhyme (TV movie) Little Miss Muffet
1989 Troop Beverly Hills Pia Zadora
1988 Hairspray Beatnik Chick
1984 Pajama Tops (TV movie) Babette Latouche
1984 Voyage of the Rock Aliens Dee Dee
1983 The Lonely Lady Jerilee Randall
1982 Fake-Out Bobbie Warren
1982 Butterfly Kady Tyler
1964 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Girmar

That’s it. From imdb.com that’s her career. (Notice that three of her credits are as herself!) I left nothing out, although she does sing and put out 7 or 8 albums and toured.
I hope she sings better than she acts. Can you explain her appeal, which I assume she must have had although I can’t see it? I admit she is kind of cute, but not cute enough to want to see her sing or act. A holiday commercial with a puppy around Christmas might be enough.

And now, as recommended by author T E Stazyk of http://testazyk.com/, here is Pia Zadora in Voyage of the Rock Aliens. It is so 1980’s it may make you sick.

And it isn’t just Ms. Zadora, the suck is spread around to the rest of the cast.

There’s more, too much more, on YouTube, but I’ve subjected you to enough.

Imponderable #68: Whatever Dimension Jermaine Jackson Lives In

9 Nov

November 9, 2012

Remember Jermaine Jackson’s big solo hit, um, whatever? I looked it up on wikipeida and he actually did some solo stuff, and some it seemed fairly popular, but c’mon- it’s Jermaine. He’s so useless that he’s the Tito of the Jackson Family. I could have looked him up on YouTube but I hate it when websites laugh at me.

So before we get to the Imponderable, a bit of background.
Jermaine Jackson was born Jermaine LaJuane Jackson. Yep, read it again, “Jermaine LaJuane.” Who says that Joe Jackson didn’t have a sense of humor?
At some point he converted to Islam and changed his name to Mohammad Abdul Aziz.
At this point he seems to go by both, but soon, perhaps, neither.

And now the Imponderable.

“Jacksun?”
Would “Jacksonn” have been cooler? And what about “Jaxon”? For some street cred, he could have gone for “Jaxxxon” and maybe spun a whole new career out of it, because being Jermaine Jackson doesn’t seem to be much of a career anymore, and not for a long time. Given the way the Jackson family is lining up to tear some shreds out of Michael Jackson’s fortune, I get the feeling that some of them (I’m looking at you, Rebbie) may have been pressing the soap slivers together for a long time.

Is Jermaine trying to dodge a process-server?
The question is Imponderable.