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Imponderable #103: Arkansas

2 Aug

August 2, 2013

I want to apologize beforehand. This is another testicle story. Between this and the guy with the 140 pound testicles I really don’t want this site to become Testicle Central. I really need to rethink the Imponderable. Last week’s goofy ghost story is more in line with what I prefer. However, that said, the essence of an Imponderable is that (among other things) it is unbelievable. This story I find very, very hard to believe. We have A- a man who is paralyzed from the waist down and B- his dog. And in the fact that C- he sleeps in the nude and the fact that D- the dog was hungry and you may know where this is going.

testy1

I may need to rethink, not just The Imponderable, but my whole life if this is the sort of story I am going to post. I have a headache right now.

But I am not as bad off as that guy in the story.

One quick note. This story has been edited by The Daily News since it originally appeared. The comments section was full of readers complaining that, as it was first published, the story read “the dog was in fact eating his ball” instead of “his gonad.”

I have a lot of other problems with this story.
TQII

PS: I will not be at all surprised if this is just an urban legend. Somebody check Snopes.

Allan Keyes Presents: The 2013 Mr. BTR Film Festival

29 Jul

July 29, 2013

 

keyes1.jpg

 

My First Award: The Worst Display of Shooting EVER:

 

I mean look at this dipshit.  He’s got his prey trapped in an enclosed space. EASY PICKINGS. More to the point, the door is glass – he doesn’t think to shoot through until the very end. And then he fails it by not killing anyone at point blank range.  I mean, yeah it’s a good thing he didn’t kill anybody but common – there used to be a time where people took pride in their craft.

In the meantime. YouTube is littered with these Philly PD videos. Good stuff, if you like to see sub-humans prey on people that is.

Because that was bound to leave a nasty taste in your mouth, here’s an adorable kitten/raccoon ownage:

My Second Award: The Interspecies Love Award:

 

WITHOUT FURTHER COMMENT, I PRESENT TO YOU THE WINNER OF THE GOLDEN LAURELS AND THE PALM ‘D CRAP – 2013 MBTR FILM FESTIVAL.