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Imponderable #62: Zimbabwe (Part Three)

23 Sep

September 23, 2012

Sneak Peek of the Week returns next week.

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Dear Dad. Things are so much fun here in Zimbabwe. Just last week a convention of prophets was called to hunt down the evil spirit who stole all the panties from the women of the village while they slept. They were eventually all found in a heap down the road. You’ll never believe what happened next! A huge owl swooped out of the sky and flew off with a dog in its talons! Yeah, I know, who’d have thought? Anyway, they had to call off the with hunt for a while. I gotta tell you Dad, the chief really didn’t seem too put out. He had this odd smile when he told us he’d have to keep the remaining pairs of panties himself for, get this- “safe keeping.” But they finally got to the bottom of the case, and would you believe…

D’oh! (slaps head with palm of hand) A goblin! I should have known it was a goblin! It was soooo obvious and all the clues were there. Max Simms in my office just won $50. He had “goblin” in our office pool. I had Chief Njelele pegged as the culprit. Sue in accounting had “drunken monkey” and Bob in payroll had his money on “perverted lion.” But goblin? I should have known!

And not just any goblin, a rogue goblin.

A sexually perverted rogue goblin.

“The goblin did not perform to my expectations.”
“We were no longer on good terms with the goblin.”

If I learned anything from Lord of the Rings, it is to never trust a goblin.

So this long, creepy saga is over. I find it only fair to let Chief Njelele have the final word. “People in my area need to behave and desist from engaging in witchcraft. Because of this strange missing panties saga, my area is now known the world over for the wrong reasons, which is a shame.”

Indeed.

Why did the goblin go rogue?
The question is Imponderable.

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18 Responses to “Imponderable #62: Zimbabwe (Part Three)”

  1. Mac of BIOnighT September 23, 2012 at 12:43 am #

    This must be the best imponderable ever! And I want to visit that village!
    Awful lot of fun, thanks 😀

    Like

  2. Mac of BIOnighT September 23, 2012 at 12:45 am #

    And by the way, that woman recognized panties she had in 2004????? O___o

    Like

    • bmj2k September 23, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

      I’m sure there is more to the story. That goblin could not have acted alone.

      Like

      • zathra September 23, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

        Has anyone wondered where this ” goblin ” came from ? Some kind of feral child perhaps ? Or a mentally – deficient ” little person ” ? Just sayin’.

        Like

        • bmj2k September 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

          I simply take it at face value. If they say it’s a goblin then who am I to argue? 🙂

          Like

          • zathra September 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

            It seems like a story that Josh Gates would cover on his Syfy show….. The one where he goes & investigates weird semi – mythological creatures, Dracula stories, chupacabra type creatures. I think the technical name for them is Cryptids ( ? ).

            Like

        • Mac of BIOnighT September 23, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

          Whoever the poor “goblin” was, he/she was probably also abused sexually by the “owner” and can be added to the long list of victims of human ignorance and superstition 😦

          Like

          • zathra September 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

            Hmmm. That idea ** honestly ** never occurred to me. Now this story could have an even MORE disturbing dimension to it.

            Like

          • bmj2k September 23, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

            To be serious for a second, there is a real tragedy here. Obviously this was no goblin, and I doubt this was any sick monkey or odd primate. I really believe, as you and Zathra do, that this “goblin” was most likely, sadly, an abused, sickly, or mentally retarded (in the clinical sense of the word) person who obviously was horribly mistreated. I vaguely alluded to this in part two of the story, but the amazing thing to me is that the internet is the height of technology and science, yet it is used to publish as news things like this: superstition and ignorance reported as news. And while that happens all the time on the net, this is a reprehensible example. And when you see the pictures in part three, the men in suits, you realize that the mental image of “savages” in grass skirts does not apply here and there is plenty of blame to go around.

            But if you want to dig deep into this story, how did the 26 women all sleep through the act of having their underwear removed? And to be annoyingly specific, how was it done? Did any of them have layers of clothes above the panties that were missing too? Did the goblin break into their homes? Was anything else missing? The story, when looked at without the sneer and laughter of which I posted it, is stupid and unbelieveable to the extreme.

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            • zathra September 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm #

              The locals are hardly what Dad & my uncles probably used to see in the pages of National Geographic as kids, no. They’ve likely had the benefits of a European – style education, so they’re not ” superstitious savages ” from some 30’s – 50’s B – movie.

              I would say that this is the result of having – here’s the potentially politically incorrect part – a mentally challenged / psychologically unstable person who was unfortunate to have a height deficit running loose in a village after being treated like a ” freak “.
              At least that’s ** my ** take.

              Like

              • Mac of BIOnighT September 23, 2012 at 7:34 pm #

                They’re not savages, perhaps, but I would definitely say there’s no doubt about their being superstitious and ignorant.
                As to European-style education being a benefit, that’s something we could discuss about, too…
                In Italian we say “it’s not the clothes that make the monk” (hope not too much gets lost in translation), nice clothes don’t make anybody any less ignorant or stupid. And one fact remains, somebody has been burned – alive, I suppose – because of that ignorance.
                We have A LOT of the very same kind of superstition here in Italy, as well, and a lot of those superstitious morons are educated and wear designer clothes. That doesn’t make them any more excusable for their actions.

                Like

                • bmj2k September 23, 2012 at 8:27 pm #

                  In the US we say “the clothes make the man,” which is the complete opposite of your Italian expression. Funny thing is, depending on how you look at it, they are both right.

                  Like

                • zathra September 23, 2012 at 8:37 pm #

                  Hmmm….. In some tribal villages in various parts of the world, superstition, fear of the unknown & misunderstood still holds sway – Even when some people have access to satellite TV & other mass communication methods. I’m not denying that humans have held on to ” weird ” ideas & beliefs, even in the ” enlightened ” West.

                  I still wear a St. Christopher medal, even though I’m not Catholic, & St. Christopher was ” demoted ” about 20 – something years ago.

                  Like

  3. zathra September 23, 2012 at 5:16 am #

    ” So this long creepy saga is over ” —– IS IT ? For now…… Sinister laughter, organ music in a minor key or sinister tribal drumbeats, slow fade to black. 😉

    Like

  4. zathra September 23, 2012 at 1:19 pm #

    This thing about the woman buying a goblin….. I remember reading a similar story about a Japanese guy ( recounted in the novel ” The Empty Mirror ” by Janwillem van de Wettering ). As long as he gave the thing something to keep it busy,everything was okay. Then the guy gets drunk with a friend, he leaves the goblin / demon with idle time on its hands, & havoc ensues.

    Like

  5. Allenkeyes September 24, 2012 at 12:43 am #

    I’d sure like to have the goblin chow concession for that village….

    Like

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