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Imponderable #62: Zimbabwe (Part Two)

22 Sep

September 22, 2012

Don’t worry, Saturday Comics will return next week and it features an annoying kid. Today and tomorrow, we continue with the record setting 3-part Imponderable, The Magical Disappearing Underwear of Zimbabwe.

Zimbabwe! Land of mystery!
Zimbabwe! Country of sweeping savannas!
Zimbabwe! Where women’s underwear can be found in the bush! (I still love that pun from yesterday. And it isn’t even mine!)

The Story So Far: In Gokwe, a village in Zimbabwe, 26 women went to bed, peaceful, serence, and all clad in their underwear. But the next day they all woke up sans underwear. A frenzied search later turned up all 26 pairs of panties down the road in, as the article says, the bush. Local leaders, in a tizzy, and faced with a crisis, had no choice but to do the sane and logical thing: they brought in prophets and organized a witch hunt. The magical panty thief must be caught!

Believe it or not things didn’t go as planned. Read on!

Personally, I suspect the chief, who seems to have no recourse but to keep the unclaimed panties. Yeah, I bet he has no recourse, heh heh heh…

“A huge owl came flying from nowhere and grabbed a mature male dog with its claws before swooping away.” Big owl? Small dog? Frustratingly, the article does not say. And have you noticed that these articles are credited to “Staff Reporter?” Seriously, would you want your name associated with this stuff? I just love the dichotomy of this story being reported as news on the internet.

There must be, as they say, some bad juju over in Gokwe. Just look at the sidebar: “Court orders virginity test on dog.” “Woman died from too much sexual pleasure.” And the less said about the “penis thorn prickle pupils” the better.

Disappearing panties. Owls flying off with dogs. Evil wizards. This is the book George RR Martin writes in his nightmares.

Where can this story go from here? Do the men lose their underwear? Do the women finally have a good laugh and admit this is all a joke? Or is it the work of The Fat Guy Eating a Cheeseburger, whom we have not seen much of in this blog lately? Come back tomorrow for the finale. And trust me, you can’t guess who the culprit is.


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